After weeks of fighting, and a reminder of the complete Sh!t storm that erupted at Elena’s housewarming party, Christy says, “Just because Terra is pregnant doesn’t give her a hall pass to be a bully and a bitch.” Agreed. What this group needs a quiet time of introspection and reconciliation and a few weeks away from each other. Nope. Time to head to New Orleans! Christy has the idea to take the group to the city that is a bad decision in it’s self. New Orleans may or man not be translated from Creole to mean “Bad Decision.”
So let’s pack out bags and see what happens in this episode of Little Women: LA “Little Women, Big Easy”
Christy meets Elena at a restaurant called Fonuts to apologize for being a complete bitch at her housewarming party. (At first I thought the place was called Fondonuts, and was suddenly craving Fondue and Donuts, but now I read that the place actually makes baked, vegan and gluten free donuts, which doesn’t sound as appealing to me. I would call that place, “Nothanks.”) Elena is wary and doesn’t trust Christy but agrees to go on the trip. Elena hits the nail on the head when she says that this trip is a bad idea. I know! Elena you need to say this out loud, and not just say it in talking-head confessional!
Don’t you love how people on this show are like, “I have a terrible idea, let’s do it now!”? I know I’m just being pragmatic and not allowing the “magical waters of TV disbelief” to wash over me, but c’mon folks, you didn’t just have this idea. This is season 2 of a reality TV show, they ALWAYS go on a trip in season 2. TV always finds a way to take the crazies out of their natural environment just to fuel more drama.
Terra and Elena meet a tres chic baby boutique/ resale store Buttons and Bows, Terra also apologizes to Elena for being a psycho at her housewarming party. Then Elena brings up the idea of heading to New Orleans as a group to go see Joe perform. Joe and Todd haven’t seen each other since the horrible blow up at Tonya’s singles party where Joe called Todd, “King Hippo” and Todd charged Joe, knocking over Traci and wrestling with Erik. Such bad blood! Terra agrees.
Terra is going on this trip, “Against my better judgment.” Everything that has happened this season should have gone against her better judgment. Here are things I wouldn’t have done if I was Terra: roller-skate while pregnant, go on a nauseating boat ride to Catalina Island while pregnant, Camp while pregnant, Fight while pregnant. I’m not saying when you’re pregnant that you have to wrap yourself in bubblewrap and hibernate for 40 weeks, but as a little person, isn’t your pregnancy considered “High Risk?” I wouldn’t want to be away from my OBGYN if I was high risk and this show is already mega stressfull on her and her little pea.
It seems like the guys are all coming a few days later, and while waiting for people arrive, Tonya, Terra, Elena and Traci take a few minutes to rip on Briana’s boyfriend Matt. They need to keep their opinions to themselves, especially Terra, her 7 year relationship with Joe has sounded pretty contentious, so just because he knocked you up doesn’t instantly make him Father of the Year. His trust needs to be earned just as much as Matt’s.
So you know, Tonya hates ghosts. So Christy keeps making jokes about their rental house being haunted. But it’s not haunted, it’s AMAZING! This pool was inside. The. House! Christy is on her best behavior and has thoughtfully chosen a place that accommodates all of her friends’ needs.
At dinner, Briana’s boyfriend Matt meets up with the group and the dinner discussion quickly becomes about Ghosts. Elena is afraid of haunted houses, we know that Tonya isn’t a fan if any ghost but the Holy Ghost, and I’m gonna guess “Ditto” for Traci. But Briana is into ghosts. She claims to have met a few ghosts including her young daughter’s spiritual guardian and shared a cute (and a little freaky) story about Leiana. Surprisingly, Christy isn’t a fan of ghosts either and thinks VooDoo is bad.
Terra and Christy talk a walk to chat. And it was awkward. But they agree to be civil and adults. And they pledge to keep their men on short leashes.
Tonya and Terra take Traci to Cafe du Monde to take her Beignet virginity. “I can’t wait to try one,” says Traci. Traci, I promise, once you’ve had a bite, you’ll eat 10. They are that amazing. The girls kindly bring two giant bags of beignets back to the house! And Erik arrives and the tension is redic again because Todd and Erik are in the same room. Thankfully, it’s a huge room with a swimming pool in it. If they decide to toss each other around, maybe they’ll end up in the cushiony pool.
Later, Todd has arranged for a crawfish boil. The Cajun chef is a colorful character on his own (Note to Lifetime: give this guy a TV show STAT!) and he’s there to teach the finer points of eating crayfish (Pronounced Craw-fish by the Cajun chef). Basically, a crayfish boil is this: take everything you own, put it into a pot the size of Briana and add bags of crayfish. Then boil. He also calls them “Mud Bugs,” which is exactly how I want my meal described.
And for a while it all seems normal, The friends are eating rodents of the bayou, and “Sucking their butts.” I know they look like baby lobsters, but crayfish are not lobsters. (Admission: I have eaten crayfish before, and they are admittedly tasty —as all things are after a pitcher of beer.) Erik and Todd chat and Todd apologizes. (Check out Traci in the background watching her man like a hawk!) A few handshake and hugs later they’re friends again.
Warning, what I’m about to say is sexist: Men are great at making up because they can punch each other and then turn around and shake hands and move on. Women fight using words and then hash and re-hash the fight and never really forgive each other. Life might be better if people fight like women, and forgive like men.
Everyone is acting like friends for the first time ever! Don the crayfish guy is a magician.
The next day they take an airboat tour. Which looks like so much fun! Although I am sure that some of the ladies were a little frowny-faced that their extensions got mussed up. And they get to touch a tiny alligator. Later, they dance to jazz and then Briana wants to go visit a psychic and suggests a group reading. Terra and Elena agree to go in with her just to watch. (Famous last words) Christy, Todd, Tonya and Traci say no thanks.
Elena reveals that as a child, she was taken to a psychic who told her family that told her family that if they went into the forest, found a certain tree, and walked around it counterclockwise, Elena would grow. And they did it! Clearly, it did not work. How insane is Russia?!? And Psychics?!? Preston arrives and he goes to the psychic with Elena, Terra, Briana and Matt. Elena and Preston decide not to enter the reading.
Terra doesn’t want to hear anything about her baby from the psychic; if she doesn’t want an amniocentesis, she doesn’t want to hear about her baby’s health from a voodoo priest. Briana and Matt hear about their relationship and the psychic tells Matt he needs to take it to the next level. Briana is hesitant to take the nest step because her family is against moving too fast with Matt. “Who is sharing your bed, Your family or Matt?” asks Zar, the psychic. Briana agrees. But here is a question I’d like to ask: who is watching your daughter while your are in New Orleans sharing a bed with Matt? I am thrilled that Briana has love in her life, but sometimes you gotta appease the free babysitters too. Move slowly.
Back at the awesome party house, Briana wants to share her experience with her friends, but Tonya doesn’t want to hear about “That unholy b.s.” Briana is pissed and then Terra reveals that Tonya believes in astrology, which is kinda the same thing as tarot and psychic stuff. Oh snap, Tonya, your girl Terra just called you a hypocrite! Briana also bought all of the girls gifts, but when she pulls out Creole fertility brooms, Traci and Christy flee the room.
And next week, the “Fun” in New Orleans continues on Little Women: LA with girl-on-girl action, boozy news and a proposal.
Images courtesy Lifetime @2015