What you are about to read may shock you. It’s a recap of an hourlong Earl episode that actually didn’t suck. After a season that nearly ran the series into ground, the finale episode seems to herald the September return of the Earl we’ve known and loved for the first two seasons.
Earl’s marriage to Billie is already rocky. She’s incredibly annoying, she has severe road rage, she sings badly in the shower … but she has all the money. After Earl blew his savings on the prison prom, Billie is now supporting Earl. And she’s incredibly cheap, especially when it comes to facial tissues. Their marriage has also had some drawbacks for Randy, as he’s now got to sleep outside and get occasionally sprayed by a cat dude. Billie also makes Randy earn his Klondike Bars by dressing as a Girl Scout and selling cookies door to door, and by letting passing motorists throw their trash at him.
Earl trusted that karma was rewarding him with Billie, but now he’s losing faith. He needs some advice on how to deal with relationships, so he goes to visit the most normal couple he knows: Stewart and Gay Kenny. When their very detailed advice about foreplay fails, Earl goes to his mom. Earl figures out how Dad dealt with Mom’s wackiness: By just simply avoiding it. Earl’s going to get along with Billie by avoiding her.
So Earl immerses himself in his list. He gets a bunch of his friends together to tip Joy and Darnell’s trailer right side up. He also returns Didi’s fake leg to her, and after spending the day walking on only one leg, Didi finally forgives Earl and lets him cross her off his list — though I will miss Didi shotgunning for Earl. Returning home, Earl finds that Billie is suddenly really nice. It must be karma telling him to make up for all the bad things he did to women. He’s had bad marriages because of the way he’s treated women, and he has to rectify that by taking care of #204: Seduced seven virgins.
There was a colony of Amish in the county who called themselves Camdenites, and each year, they would send their young women out to taste of the outside world. If their faith in the Camdenite way was strong enough, they would return to the colony. But a few of the young ladies were seduced by modern conveniences and carnal delights, and never returned. Earl and Randy took advantage of the “Running of the Virgins,” and now needed to make amends with the Camdenites. A Camdenite woman says Earl can cross them off his list if he sees that her niece Greta makes it back to the colony.
But Billie’s back to being bad again, and she gives Earl an ultimatum: Her or the list. Earl picks the list, and Billie gives Earl a Russell Crowe-style beatdown with a telephone upside the head. Having stole Earl’s list, Billie is going on a rampage throughout Camden County, undoing all the list items Earl had accomplished. She also sabotaging items Earl hasn’t accomplished — she’s corrupting Greta with fast food. Earl puts on the sunglasses David Caruso CSI: Miami-like, and goes out to stop her. Oh yeah, and the great Dan Coscino steps on a nail.
Earl’s friends are in an uproar over the chaos Billie’s causing, and Earl eventually caves into pressure to pick her over the list. Earl meets Billie on the outskirts of the Camdenite colony, when the police, called by Joy and Darnell (Billie tipped their trailer over again), show up to arrest her. But Billie seeks refuge in the Camdenites’ land, where the police have no jurisdiction.
But while hiding with the Camdenites, Billie finally found some peace. They taught her sharing, kindness and leading a simple life. She taught them the words to John Denver’s “Country Roads.” Billie finally found what she was looking for, and the Camdenites found a new family member.
Billie returns to Earl one last time, to finalize their divorce and give him back his list. She also gave him $72,000, the remainder of her insurance settlement, to continue doing good for people. Karma has rewarded Earl after all. And Greta has taken a liking to Randy — karma has finally rewarded him, too.
Earl’s finally back where he belongs. Maybe My Name Is Earl is finally back where it belongs too.
What We Learned:
There’s nothing like a crap and a shower to make you feel better.
People who believe problems can be solved without confrontation have never met Joy.
Bet you can’t hit me with your trash.
“All work and no foreplay makes Jack a dull boy.” — Will & Grace rerun
The wheel is the devil’s work!
A good farmer always finds something to plow.
People should make fun of foreigners.
Wisdom From Randy: Ants are so ripped. They must get laid all the time.
Crab Man Chronicles: Having Joy and Darnell’s trailer tipped over has been an unexpected boon for Mr. Turtle. Thanks to the grass that grows through the floor, Mr. Turtle has his own little park.
