Tag Archives: Discovery Channel

Why Discovery should cancel Alaskan Bush People, but won’t

Alaskan Bush People Billy Forest

Go Here For All Of Your AWESOME And EXXXTREME Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. I’ve been out of it for a little while. Did I miss anything? On Monday, Juneau Superior Court Judge Philip “The Hammer” Pallenberg laid down a sentence of 30 days in jail to Billy Brown and son Joshua “Bam Bam,” plus 40 hours of community service each and fines and repayments totaling more than $21,000 combined. The taxpayers of Alaska will get their money back (sort of) and the Browns can never file … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Bush Heart

ABP Seizure

Go Here For All Of Your AWESOME And EXXXTREME Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. The Integrity is bound for Tenakee Springs, heading into bad weather with a cargo of sugar, flour, windows and a giant-ass Beverage-Air cooler. They must deliver these supplies intact and on schedule, or Paulie “Lite Weight” Weltzin of Sea Level Transport will have the Brown boys sleeping with the halibuts. But thank the Good Lord for all that Magically Disappearing Bad Weather on ABP. Back at Brownton Abbey, Billy’s got ants in his pants about his … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Alarmed & Dangerous

Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Alarmed & Dangerous

Go Here For All Of Your AWESOME And EXXXTREME Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. There was no new Alaskan Bush People episode last week. Worst Christmas ever. But the Browns were still busy drawing out their legal proceedings even longer. Seriously, it’s not like they’ve got Johnnie Cochran defending them. Their lawyer, James “Smooth Jimmy” McGowan, thinks the Internet has punished the Browns enough, and the prosecutor in the case isn’t even trying. (Yes, Lisa Kelley, I am calling you out for Bush Lawyerin’.) This case is … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Dead in the Water

Alaskan Bush People

Go Here For All Of Your AWESOME And EXXXTREME Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. “Alaskan Bush People? I’m tired of Alaskan Bush People!” Those were the words of my 5-year-old son when I started up this week’s ABP on the DVR. You know you’ve got problems when kindergarteners are bored with you. Bam, Bear, Gabe and Matt are in Gustavus waiting on Stevie Wonder to get his bear wood-carving done so they can haul it back to Hoonah. Somehow they end up at some guy’s place. He has … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Dock-u-Drama

Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Dock-u-Drama

Go Here For All Of Your Hole-Digging Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. After whatever the hell that was last week, the saga of Brownton Abbey resumes with “Dock-u-Drama,” a delightfully punned title. In the TV business, we’ve seen shows promoted a multitude of ways by adding “docu” to them. We’ve seen “docudrama,” “docuseries” and even something called a “docusoap.” The networks and producers wanted to get away from “reality” shows, since there is so little reality in them and the word was starting getting negative connotations. (I … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Ballad of Billy Brown

Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Ballad of Billy Brown

Go Here For All Of Your Hole-Digging Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. What did Discovery intend to do by using this Alaskan Bush People as a lead-in to Racing Extinction? It’s a weird juxtaposition of the insipid trash Discovery has churned out lately and the enlightening, important prestige documentaries it used to air regularly. Was it purely a ratings move to boost Racing Extinction? Was it an effort to remind viewers that there’s stuff on Discovery that won’t make us dumber? This special episode, “Ballad of Billy Brown,” is more like “This … Continue reading

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Racing Extinction effectively chronicles natural devastation facing our planet

Racing Extinction effectively chronicles natural devastation facing our planet

“Racing Extinction is required viewing for all citizens of the world,” said John Hoffman, executive vice president of Discovery Channel’s Documentaries and Specials division. The quote at first seemed like typical press-release hyperbole, but upon viewing the film, I have to agree. No matter what your political biases may be toward topics such as climate change, hunting endangered animals, destruction of natural habitats or other environmental issues, Racing Extinction should engage you with its sobering, at times bleak, look at the devastation facing our planet. It seems that in the “race” against extinction — not only the extinction of other … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Rock, Paper, Skipper

Alaskan Bush People

Go Here For All Of Your Hole-Digging Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. It’s CHAOS in Brownton Abbey! MEDICS! EVACS! GUNSHOTS! SOMETHING’S REALLY REALLY WRONG! The Black Screen of Fake Doom! It’s Make Your Own Alaskan Bush People Black Screen of Fake Doom Night! “Dad just had a seizure, is what happened,” Bam explains. “He every now and then weirds out, gets all dingy. He has a seizure.” Billy was in a coma for a week in 2006, and he’s had these seizures since then, and they’ve grown more … Continue reading

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Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Shots Fired

Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Shots Fired

Go Here For All Of Your Fish-Punching Alaskan Bush People Needs! Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family. Just another beautiful day in the bush, my friends. I have no idea what the plea deal [Update: Rejected!] means for the longterm future of the show. Discovery went with an all-out media blitz for the Season 3 premiere, and I’ve seen the Browns covered in outlets I’d never seen before. With the fraud case now out in the (sorta) mainstream, lots of people are learning about Alaskan Bush People for the first time. Scandals and … Continue reading

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Recap: Men, Women, Wild “For Worse” Episode 2

Men, Women, Wild “For Worse”

Last week, three brave couples headed into remote locations with limited survival gear for a three-week test of their survival skills and their relationship’s strength. One couple, Matt & Ali called it quits after only three days into their survival adventure in the harsh Mexican jungle. The bugs and the stress were too much for Ali. In Norway, Justin & Jenny are a week into their survival experience and they still haven’t eaten a single bite. In the highland desert of Morocco, Mitchell & Jhoanna have eaten a few small fish, but nothing else. Their biggest obstacle has been the unpredictable weather … Continue reading

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