Synopsis: Aaaaayyyyy! (Sorry, we love a good Fonzie reference.) It’s Valentine’s Day at Dunder Mifflin Scranton, despite the fact that it’s early March everywhere else. That means it’s going to be a rough day for Michael Scott, who still misses Holly and resents everyone else’s romantic bliss — not to mention the general sexiness Jim and Pam are always throwing in his face. He has decided to organize a lonely hearts club party, to which only the single people in the office are invited. As a consolation, he invites Jim to “suck it.”
The party isn’t the only major event planned, though. It’s also blood drive day. When it comes to Michael’s turn, he says he feels like a human juicebox — a human juicebox who happens to be seated next to an attractive fellow donor. Unfortunately, he was so nervous about donating blood that he didn’t eat for three days and he passes out, only to wake up next to Hank the security guard. All is not lost, however. Well, actually, a glove is lost — but it belongs to Michael’s mystery woman, and he resolves to return it to her. Since the blood bank won’t give him her name, he organizes another singles shindig and invites the entire office park in the hope that she’ll attend.
While all of this is going on, Jim and Pam are out at a couples lunch with Phyllis and Bob Vance. Things are going smoothly, until the Vances disappear to the bathroom for several minutes. What could they be doing in … ewww!
Back at the office, Michael’s gloveless love never arrives, but Kevin manages to make a love connection despite being the awkward, sweaty mess that he is. Good for him. And good for Michael for trying. After all, as Alfred Lord Tennyson once said — and Bret Michaels from Poison later echoed — ’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Mike says
Best Moment: When Kelly opens her valentine from “a secret admirer,” which reads: “Roses are red, violets are blue. It’s time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a checkup, too.” Looks like I’ve got my wife’s gift for next Valentine’s Day taken care of.
Best Quote: “I feel like a human juicebox. Hawaiian Blood Punch. Type O-cean Spray.” — Michael, ensuring that I will never drink another juicebox as long as I live. That is, unless Mike Ditka brings it to me.
Employee of the Week: Creed. While Stanley and Phyllis were trying to steal chocolate chip cookies from the bloodmobile, dude stole a bag of blood. I shudder to think what he’ll do with it, but that’s pretty hardcore nonetheless. Runners-up: that jackass, that other jackass and that new jackass.
Ryan says
Best Moment: Kevin’s story of how Stacie broke up with him: “It was a Sunday morning. We were reading the paper. And I said, ‘Oh, my God. I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East.’ And she said that we’re done.”
Best Quote: “Hey, everybody! I just invited Jim to suck it!” — Michael
Employee of the Week: Cupid’s Sparrow. Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.
johnnysweeptheleg says
Best Moment: The look on Jim’s face when Bob says to Phyllis, “You want some meat?” We shared that same look of abject horror, Jim.
Best Quote: “Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.” — Dwight’s special talent
Employee of the Week: Bob Vance. Why? Because he loves himself some afternoon delight. And we thought Humpty was the only one who once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
Kind of a lackluster episode, I gotta say. As you recap them, they all sound funny, but for some reason, I barely got above a smirk this time out. I personally liked Dwight putting a potential sale ahead of making a love connection.