Posted by Ryan
1. And then there were two. The finale pits Rob and Charlotte against the Ashleys. I guess they’re not giving Rob and Charlotte any advantage for not having any strikes against them (the Ashleys have one strike). Credit the Ashleys for making a big comeback after getting their first strike in the second episode.
2. Trip down memory lane. This is sort of like those finale episodes of Survivor, when the last remaining contestants have to fondly reminisce about all the people they’ve screwed over all series long. Granted, no one really seemed to like or dislike anyone else enough in Highway 18 to get all weepy or retrospective. Anyway, it gives the Ashleys a chance to say what they really felt about everyone: Peach and Jay were too intense, Andy and Parker too laid back, the Ashleys were juuuuust right. Hey, there are only two teams left. They’ve got a lot of time to fill.
3. It will come down entirely to golf. Rob’s strategy is to stick close to the Ashleys on the road. They’ll concede the chance to get a 10 minute lead on the road or on foot in order to make sure this thing gets won on the course. Wise strategy, unless the Ashleys totally have no idea where they’re going.
4. The clue! The clue! Charlotte’s smart enough to remember that they needed to pick up the clue from a board in Mallory Square in order to find their clubs. The Ashleys forget their clue and go running off, um, cluelessly. Not sure what Rob was thinking, but he tipped off the Ashleys that they forgot their clue. Loose lips sink ships, son. I guess Rob really does want this to come down to golf, not the Ashleys’ airheadedness.
5. … ? … ? … ? … When Rob and Charlotte ask some (possibly homeless) guy on the street where Sloppy Joe’s is, he mutters something unintelligible and points, and the caption on the screen reads “… ? … ? … ? …” Funniest moment of the series? Quite possibly.
6. Rob’s got the jitters? The Ashleys remark that Charlotte looks calm and cool, and Rob looks nervous. The Ashleys saw earlier that water hazards seem to get in Rob’s head, so they picked the water holes for Rob and Charlotte at Key West Golf Club. Rob hits a bad tee shot far right and can’t seem to find the fairway. Charlotte birdies the hole, while Rob sinks his bogey putt. They get to move on to play the second hole, where they have to score a combined birdie or better.
7. The pressure’s on you, Sis. Rob and Charlotte do a little strategy. Rob admits that his little sister is better at golf than he is, and if someone has to replay the hole and score a birdie, they want it to be Charlotte. So Charlotte intentionally misses her putt so she has to replay the hole. Rob made his par, so it’s up to Charlotte to get the birdie.
8. “If I pass out, I pass out.” Ashley and Charlotte have a rough time getting their birdies. They could be out there all night. They start to crack when Charlotte goes on her eighth attempt and Ashley goes on her 10th. They’re both about to cry. Charlotte nails a nice putt on her eighth attempt, and they grab the flagstick and hit the road. They have no idea that the Ashleys had an even worse time out there today. Ashley has a total breakdown and starts making pterodactyl noises. She’s suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, and they need to get an ambulance and hook her up to an IV. But she’ll be fine, folks. (But does she ever get her birdie, or is she still out there?)
9. Who’s the big winner? Charlotte! So I admitted long ago that I was a Charlotte fan, so I was happy she won. Oh, and guess I’m happy for her brother, too. Charlotte’s smart, focused, highly skilled with the golf sticks, and really quite creative and enterprising with her sparkly and shiny Blingo Ballmarks. We wish her good luck on her pro career and hope she someday does photo calendar that puts Natalie Gulbis to shame.
