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What I’m Wondering After The Little Women: Atlanta Reunion

Little Women: Atlanta ReunionAfter a season of reality TV, it’s good to have a reunion to get the deets on what’s gone down since the cameras turned off. Are the feuds still raging? Have friendships rekindled? Have loves been lost? And in last night’s LW:ATL reunion, we learned that the gang has been getting busy, literally. Below, I wrote down a few pre-reunion show questions and then will explain what I learned….

The Entire Minnie-Baby-Troy triangle — WTF is going on there?
Before the Reunion: I interviewed Minnie days before her big announcement, and she hinted that she had something major about to hit. Uh yeah, baby news is the biggest news! When did this happen? Who is the father? And how did this happen (I know how babies are made), — so perhaps a better question is “Why?”


After the Reunion: During the reunion special, Minnie’s friends constantly challenged her to prove her pregnancy. “Pee Sticks” were presented, past lies were recalled, and the whole debacle was treated poorly. We all know that has lied in the past. But she’s apologized and tried to make amends. Her friends should give her loving support and encouragement. If the pregnancy turns out to be false, instead of gloating, “I told you so,” Minnie’s friends should support her, as she obviously might need psychological help.

And on to the Pastor Troy drama. Minnie revealed that she started the lie about her relationship status with Pastor Troy because everyone else on the show was in a relationship, so she tried to invent a relationship and hoped he’d play along. “#StalkerBoo,” says a stunned Terra.

And then we addressed the elephant in the room. Is Minnie pregnant? The answer is “Yes,” according to Minnie. The show confirmed the news to me on Feb. 15. “Whose is it?” asked Emily. Monie still doesn’t believe Minnie, says that if the pregnancy is a lie, everyone will know eventually. Monie also reveals that she learned of the pregnancy on social media (as did Ms. Juicy).

When Minnie was asked, “Are you pregnant with Pastor Troy’s baby?” Minnie just smiled. When pressed, she revealed that the baby is Troy’s. But when asked if they are dating, Minnie admitted that she’s single.

Troy is just laughing all the way to the YouTube bank.

One of the non-surprises of the night (Since it was in every commercial tease,) Pastor Troy made an appearance. Can we just agree that he is the #1 winner of Little Women; Atlanta? He had to do nothing, but got lots of media mentions. When he appeared onstage, I felt like I was seeing a unicorn; I couldn’t believe that he was real. He wore a head-scratching wrestling belt and said a lot, by not saying anything. Here is one exchange between Troy, host Terra Jole and Emily:
Pastor Troy says that he and Minnie aren’t dating.
Terra: Have you and Minnie had an intimate relationship?
I think that Troy may not know what “intimate” or “relationship” means, and confusingly demurs, so everyone breaks it down…
Emily: Have you had sex?
Terra: Have you seen her goodies?
Troy: Have I been to the Mini-mart? … I don’t kiss and tell.
When told that Minnie has revealed that he is the father of her baby, Troy says, “I ain’t the only rapper she deals with. Minnie’s a hot girl.” But doesn’t this imply that they’ve had sex?

When Terra asks Minnie about having a child with a man who won’t admit to being the father without a DNA test, it reminds me of Minnie’s own Daddy drama. It’s a vicious cycle. If she couldn’t have a father for herself, why would she deny one for her child? Pastor Troy doesn’t strike me as fatherhood material. He may like making babies, but I bet that he wouldn’t do well caring for one.

I congratulate Minnie for wanting to have a family, but with the pain and trauma that her father’s abandonment has caused in her life, I would have bet that Minnie would have waited to start a family while in a committed relationship. Will Troy be a dedicated father? Kids don’t need presents, they need presence.

Will Monie hop on the baby train?
Before the Reunion: In Episode 8, Morlin teased Monie that he wanted to have a family with her. Now that her BFF Minnie is expecting, will Monie catch baby fever?

Monie, let these lyrics be your mantra: “NO More Drama.”

After the Reunion: Nope. Lady is too busy crying over her own drama to invite any more into her life. She’s still driven to embarrassed tears every time she sees the clip of her tossing a drink on Juicy’s head.

How do you tell the twins apart?
Before the Reunion: I’m okay when the twins are wearing sexy club wear (Andrea has a tattoo of a heart on her décolletage, while Amanda’s chest has paw print tattoos), but how can someone as un-twin-itiated as myself tell the Tiny Twins apart if they are wearing turtlenecks? This has been a challenge for me. In a few of my recaps, I’ve had to call someone “one twin,” because I can’t tell.

In a few months, It’ll be a breeze to tell between Andrea (left) and Amanda (right).

Reunion Update: During after a cryfest that made me think that Andrea and Chis had broken up, Andrea revealed that she is 12 week’s pregnant with her second child (Chris is the father of both children.) Now that Andrea has announced that she’s pregnant again, I guess telling the twins apart will become a lot easier. It’s strange that of the four women whose job titles are essentially “Professional twerker,” have decided to jeopardize their “careers” by getting pregnant. I applaugd the women for perhaps moving away from occupations that sexualize and exploit them as women and as little people, I hope that they can find careers that elevate them and are inspirational for their children.

Even Bri and Emily look pissed off about their life choices.

Will Wooda hit the road?
Before the Reunion: Obviously, baby daddy Wooda has to be a part of Malik’s life, but can Bri stay strong and find a relationship where she receives as much support and commitment as she gives?
Reunion Update: After the reunion, the answer is no. Bri can’t stay strong and keep Wooda out of her life. They are living together, but not in a relationship. Bri justified her terrible decision saying, “The heart wants what it wants.” Bri, don’t look to Selina Gomez for relationship; she’s in love with Justin Bieber, who treats women like garbage.

Will Lontel stay in the picture?
Before the Reunion: The father of Emily’s baby, Lontel, wasn’t thrilled to learn that he was going to become a father and skipped Emily’s first doctor’s appointment. But when Emily dragged Lontel to her second one, we saw him fall in love with his baby … for a moment. By the doctor’s appointment where Emily found out he baby’s gender and if he (it’s a he!) was average sized or a little person, Lontel was a no-show. Is Lontel’s disappearing act a hint of what’s to come? Will he skip out at ever cough and cold?
Reunion Update: Emily reports that she and Lontel are working on their relationship and that their baby (due in a few weeks) will share his father’s name. Emily stressed that it’s a shame that the series only showed Lontel in a negative light, because she insists that he’s immature, not a bad person. For Season 2, I challenge Lontel to give the producers nothing but stellar footage to work with. They can edit all they want, but if they don’t shoot it, they can’t show it.

Who’s a bitchier queen: Ms. Juicy on LW:ATL or Elizabeth Hurley on The Royals?

Can Ms. Juicy get any better?
Before the Reunion: Ms. Juicy gets an honorable mention for doing a great job promoting herself this season on LW:ATL. She was the gravity around which much of the drama revolved. I hope that they bring her back in Season 2 as a full-time cast member. Lord knows she’d love it.
After the Reunion: It was quite a moment when Ms. Juicy teered out onto the stage, in a dress with a ballerina skirt, shy-high heels and a crown. The resplendent look was fitting for the self-professed, “Queen of Atlanta.”

When Terra informed Juicy that Minnie is pregnant with Troy’s baby, Juicy ponders, “How can you get pregnant by a dildo?” and then whipped a pregnancy test out of her bra. “Prove it,” she demands. Oh, Juicy. Nothing smells like comedy more than a callback to an earlier episode, and a pregnancy test that reeks of cleavage sweat.

Perhaps the only tension-free moment of the entire reunion was when Terra Jole announced that Little Women; Atlanta will be returning for a second season. The women were thrilled, partially because their reality TV paychecks will continue, and also because they can keep living in a state of arrested development.

Until next season…

 

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