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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 15 recap: MDP-O’d

Welcome back to sunny L.A., Dance Moms nation. We’re still 3rd Street Dance squatters and this week’s sidewalk discussion is about how pyramid should go well because of last week’s win and how we’re all headed in the right direction. Winning! Videos! Records! Plus we’re getting a visitor! Oh. That’s no visitor. It’s Erin Babbs and the Murrieta Dance Project group, who will be at the same competition this week. They beat us last time we went head-to-head, so oh oh. Inside the girls are stretching and Kendall gives a little a cappella version of the song from her upcoming […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 14 recap: I’m havin’ contract-tions!

So we’re back in L.A. Dance Moms nation. Who else got a nice chuckle out of Jill’s “I kind of feel like we never left” remark? Given the amount of recycled footage you guys have pointed out — I really need to learn to pay attention better — who knows if we actually did. But anyway, Jo Jo says L.A. is the best! Melissa says Mack went with Abby to look for studios the other day and it was so much fun! Oh. Uh. Anyhow. The moms just hope the memories from this go-round are much more pleasant than those […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 13 recap: You’re getting my goat …

If you wanna be my Dance Mom, you gotta get with(out) your friends… make it last forever, cause this show never ends. So given that … zigazig ahhhh, Dance Moms nation. It’s time for the Spice Girls/Poison Apples version of the Dance Moms recap. Which starts out innocuously enough as everyone gathers in the Dancers Den to talk about how weird it is to be without Maddie again (it’s not that weird). This time, Maddie’s with Sia in New York doing SNL. And Melissa is lamenting about how she really should be in New York with her daughter, but she has to […]

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Competition

Dance Moms recap Season 5 episode 12: A bad case of Melanie-oma

Welcome back, Dance Moms Nation. Whose NCAA bracket is still worth the paper it’s printed on? Who picked the Badgers to take it all? You are my special favorites. Speaking of competitions … this week we start at the front desk where Abby is all a’twinkle over Maddie’s new Sia video, Elastic Heart, which — if you’re the one person on earth who hasn’t seen it yet — features Maddie in Chandelier gear having one serious nightmare of a (bird)cage match with a brief-wearing Shia LaBeouf. Since we’re going to get all worked about it multiple times throughout the episode, here. […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 11 recap: All For One and None For All!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Dance Moms nation. If you’re not out there getting your corned beef and cabbage on, grab a green beer and let’s talk about what happened tonight. We start in the Dancers’ Den where everyone is pretty cheery about beating the Candy Apples and what it might mean for pyramid. OK, almost everyone. Let’s get her mind off her troubles and ask Jo Jo what she thought of Cathy, which should be entertaining. Jo Jo was expecting a little crazy, but she got THIS crazy instead. Huh. It doesn’t appear to be the answer Melissa was expecting. Or maybe […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 10 recap: Upsettin’ the Apple cart and robbin’ the cradle

First of all, Dance Moms nation, I’m sorry for botching the blog post six ways from Sunday last week. Bad case of the donna-mos, I guess. I’m back on track, I swear. We open with Gia at the front desk greeting dancers and mothers, including Ashlee and Brynn. Yay! Ashlee’s back! Ain’t that right, Jill?  Right. Everyone’s in shades of green as we gather for pyramid and Abby’s bangs are in fine form…because I know you’d want to know. Bottom of the bottom is Nia, because her dance was dumb and Abby’s knows it and that wasn’t Nia’s fault. Then […]

Commentary

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 9 recap: A little less talk and a little more dancin’

Uh oh, Dance Moms nation. The counter is back. I suppose it was only a matter of time. And just for the record, I’d consider using Lifetime-sanctioned photos for these things if, you know, they actually offered some from each — or any — episode. Which they don’t. And what’s a story without pictures? So I make my own. So let’s all just ignore the counter. We do not see you, counter! Lalalala! As promised, we’re back in Pittsburgh. Holly says she sees L.A. as a success, even if Abby did try to sabotage Nia at every turn — Aubrey […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 Episode 8 recap: Out with a whimper

Another day, another million dramas, Dance Moms nation. We start out back on the set of the MattyB video, where Abby is still stewing about Melissa not recognizing that Mackenzie is just this side of Ariana Grande and refusing to sign her on in a second fiddle role. Abby says the papers that Melissa did sign say that Mack will appear, but keep her golden little pipes to herself. If she sings, she gets top billing. Even though MattyB’s people are paying for this thing, so, uh, there. Blake talks the sudden hitch in the giddy up with Melissa, who admits she just […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 episode 7 recap: To Matty B or Not to Matty B

It’s our last week in L.A. Dance Moms nation and Abby says it’s gonna be a big one. More choreography than ever to contend with (which makes Melissa suck her teeth) and we’re down a major player. Our Maddie is guest starring – like, legit, acting —on Disney’s Austin and Ally and that, people, is a honkin’ deal. It also means we need a swing for the team; let’s meet our prospective swingers now! Oh hey, Sarah and Tracey. Back for more punishment, huh? How exciting! Right, Sarah?! Right. Kira’s equally excited. Both Sarah and Mystery Girl are from Kalani’s original studio […]

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Competition

Dance Moms Season 5 Episode 6 recap: You’re Not Psycho Enough

Or maybe I should’ve called this one “Carrie On.” Decisions, decisions. Anyway, welcome back, Dance Moms nation. Everyone got their Big Gulp and their Sour Patch Kids ready for another hour of nothing to do with dancing? Good. Because we start out a mere three days to the next competition and in search of our newest new home till the mythical ALDC LA comes to fruition. Which, today, would be 3rd Street Dance. Once again, Jojo’s in tow, even though she’s not supposed to be a part of the team. Jessalyn is Team Abby, so there’s that. Speaking of Abby, […]