Dance Moms

Welcome back, big bunch of losers that we are, Dance Moms nation. But at least we get a peek at the brand new studio — or the mass of cement and beams that passes for the new studio. But Abby says it will be our fully completed home in just three short weeks. Uh huh. Will too. Let’s get down to business. Which is, for the most part, that we’re a big bunch of losers and it’s probably going to cost Abby business. OK, Mack is not a total loser. She’s on set filming the Nick series Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & […]

Welcome back, Dance Moms nation. I am pleased to report that my screener is complete with intact persons this go ’round, so no lobotomy humor, I’m afraid. But we did get the LA version of the Welcome to Ohio sign (and a freaky caption), so that’s nice. A little bland, what with no cows and yard waste and what have you, but we’ll take what we can get. We start out with light hearted moments with the girls taking their loss in stride and congratulating Mack on her victory over Maddie last week. After playfully tussling with her little sister, Mads […]

Man, Tuesdays come around fast, don’t they Dance Moms nation? But we ended last week on a win, so maybe this week will finally be California sunshiney for a change? Yes? No. We don’t even make it into 3rd Street Dance before we’re comparing Abby to a big ol’ baby who doesn’t handle transition well. Well, I suppose. If the bootie fits. But anyway. And furthering my theory that Abby is a wily hostage of the DM producers and is going to make them pay but good for that, when Jill expresses surprise that she’s actually in the studio when […]

Well that was a short-lived respite, wasn’t it Dance Moms nation? What did everyone do with their Lonely Tuesday? According to Lifetime, tonight’s is actually episode 517, but I’ve done 18 recaps even before this bugger — and not counting the specials —  so if everyone could kindly just march along to the beat of my episode-count drummer so we all stay on the same parade route, I’d be grateful. We cool? Good. So anyway, ALDC L.A. starts today! Well, kind of. Everyone is in L.A. , but we’re still squatting at 3rd St. Dance. Jill says Abby is a big […]

Sorry for the delay, Dance Moms nation. Rough week. But since this is the mid-season finale, I could hardly let it go unnoticed, now could I? Sure I could. But I didn’t. Because I like you. We’re back at Starbound, where we seem to be pretending that we didn’t end at Nia’s video premiere last week. I thought we’d dropped by Starbound already, but there is Cathy with her megaphone pondering Abby’s absence and only Melissa, Jess, Nia, Holly and Jo Jo seem to be representing ALDC. Holly says something must be up. Melissa says, the others are just still at […]

We’re back in snowy Pittsburgh, Dance Moms nation and despite the fact that everyone is bundled to the teeth, the Pitt Crew professes that there is no place like home. We rifle off all the reasons why — family members left behind, the comfort of routines, what have you. OK, L.A.’s probably better. But apparently we’re only home for a smidge anyway, because Melissa says she can’t believe this will be our  last Pittsburgh pyramid. Jill will believe it when she sees it. Lori, too. Sure enough. We’re only home for a week, before we turn back around to Cali. […]

It’s our last week in L.A., Dance Moms nation (short jaunt, this one) — maybe for a few weeks like last time. Maybe for good. Who knows? We start at Kendall’s military-themed video shoot, which appears to be a cleverly  orchestrated opportunity for Abby to wander around amongst a bunch of dudes in uniform, getting handsy. While Kendall and her back-up dancers gets prettied up, Abby rants to Jill about how Holly didn’t even have the common decency to tell her that, well basically, what amounts to that she found more professional folks to do Nia’s video … because Abby would have never […]