American Idol

by WindUpDoll Now it’s the girls’ turn to take on the ’80s. First up is Asia’h, and her most embarrassing moment involved roller skating. Way to tie into the ’80s theme. She’s singing ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody.’ She’s rocking the trendy high-waisted pants. Paula is dancing. Will anyone take on a Paula song? We’ll have to wait and see. Asia’h is just ok. Randy of course drops that he recorded that song. He thinks Asia’h was hot. Ok, and I have to ask what the apostrophe is for in her name. I’ll likely never get an answer to that […]

Oh NEXT week is the new set. Next week. Thanks for the clarification, Ryan. I was wondering what was ‘new’ about this set. It’s ’80s night on American Idol. Not that anyone cares, that is. We’re all about the David Hernandez stripper story. Sweet. It’s on CNN, so it must be true. I’ve also heard that skunk-girl had a DUI or something. Finally, I’m getting my Idol-dirt. Luke had to dress like a girl once when he was a little kid. It was so embarrassing that it drives him into a Wham! song. Luke wanted to sing Wham! ‘Wake Me […]

by WindUpDoll These results shows are sheer artistry in their filler. There is absolutely no reason to watch the results show, except to find out who gets the boot. And to see the cheesy group number. But, if Idol only gave us what we wanted, the show would last about 5 minutes.

by WindUpDoll Ok, this season of American Idol is finally getting juicy. VoteForTheWorst.com is reporting, not confirming, mind you, but reporting that apparently David Hernandez used to be a gay stripper. Not that that fact should disqualify him from becoming American Idol, but it’s finally some dirt on this squeaky-clean season. Oh, and Robbie’s ‘hair,’ well, TMZ says he was wigging it last night. Thank you, Internet, for bringing us the dirt. Carly is up first this week, and although she owns her own tattoo shop, she also works at an Irish Bar. Way to fight that stereotype, Carly. She’s […]

by WindUpDoll All Randy’s gonna tell them is that they need to be in it to win it. Word up, Randy. Simon just tells them to be better. I wasn’t paying attention to Paula. Reversing last week, Michael Johns is up first. He loves tennis. I feel closer to him already. I almost believe he has time to play tennis. He’s singing ‘Go Your Own Way’ by Fleetwood Mac. Obviously, this is a Lindsay Buckingham song, as opposed to a Stevie Nicks song. I can tell by Michael’s lack of flowy things in his wardrobe choice. He doesn’t sound that […]

by WindUpDoll It’s an American Idol results show, which means you get about 5 pounds of content in a 50 pound bag. There’s Ryan blabbing with the judges and ripping on Simon. And then we get a cheesy ‘package’ to a Daughtry tune. Ryan has to ‘lead’ the applause after it. And then it’s the group number! I love the group number! ‘Cause they usually suck big time. Tonight, the guys are all in matching suits with ’60s-sortof styled hair. Colton looks more ’50s, and rocker David’s hair still looks way crappy. The girls don’t have to match, but it […]

by WindUpDoll Let’s get right to it — Kristy Lee Cook decides to forgo ‘Amazing Grace’ again and goes with ‘Rescue Me.’ If she wins Idol, the first thing she’s going to do is buy her horse back. So America, if you want Kristy to have her horse back, get to dialing. She does this weird wide-eye thing to emphasize things. She does a lot of ‘mmmm-mmmms’ which sound appropriate, but it also sounds like she forgot something. Randy calls it rough around the edges. Paula credits her for being sick, but notes that she can’t use it as an […]

by WindUpDoll Finally, the part on American Idol where we get to start voting. Not that I’ll be voting. As a member of the press, I feel it’s my duty to remain completely neutral in cases like these. Except for the Presidency. I vote in that election. Oooohhh, they’ll be singing on a PLATFORM. A platform to start their careers. Deep, Ryan. Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a whole new stage for Idol this season. Looks like the old Coca-Cola holding pen to me. Ryan explains the ‘rules’ and introduces the ‘judges.’ Yawn. Of course, after the […]

by WindUpDoll Wow, what a start Idol. Great shill for the movie Jumper starring Hayden Christensen. Ohh, and then we get to see the contestants eating breakfast and discussing their collective lack of sleep! We also get to see the very Versailles-like exterior to whatever building they’re in. I’m sure it’s all styrofoam. The contestants are just like me! Actually they’re not, ’cause they can sing. Thanks, Ryan! And thanks for the elevator ride and walk demo. I had no idea just how it was done. Thanks for laying it down. You will be watched in the elevator, but try not […]

by WindUpDoll We’re down to the final 164 on American Idol. Thankfully we won’t get to meet all of them. Ryan Seacrest just promised me a ‘brand new Hollywood week.’ As you can probably tell, I’ll believe that when I see it. Contestants are up on stage, getting slapped to reality that most folks aren’t making it through. Apparently some folks are getting to perform once & get a pass to the end of the week. The rest are getting 2nd and 3rd chances. No one is getting cut until day 3. I’m hoping they don’t make me wait until […]