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Sports

Hey Look! It’s Enrico Pallazzo!

Having the Queen of England attend any U.S. sports event should automatically invoke thousands of references to The Naked Gun. If it doesn’t, then I feel sorry for you. British royalty aside, the Kentucky Derby was attended by an assemblage of oddly dressed celebrities who couldn’t get a hookup for De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Peyton Manning signs an autograph for the one fan who carries his Indianapolis Colts mini helmet everywhere he goes, “just in case.” Jeez, even the TV reporters don’t get spared from heinous couture. Jenny McCarthy takes time out from boring you with her books on […]

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Magazine Archive

Oscar De La Hoya And Floyd Mayweather Jr. Get Us Pumped Up For Fight Night

De La Hoya vs. Mayweather: The World Awaits is mere days away. Before these two rivals fight May 5 on Pay-Per-View, they talked with members of the media on a conference call. Check out what these fighters had to say as they fired off salvos in a war of words before their war in the ring. Mayweather Lets Everyone Have It Floyd On Oscar’s Style “He’s extremely stiff. I’m a fighter with special effects. I can do whatever it takes to win, inside and out. … You already know what he’s going to do. He does it time in and […]

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Sports

The 4th OT: Now Is Not The Best Time To Ask Mark Cuban For Money

Awesome series win for the Golden State Warriors over the Dallas Mavericks last night. The NBA playoffs aren’t disappointing (uh, unless you’re a Heat fan or Dirk Nowitzki). It’s going to be a huge sports weekend, so let’s hit it: Tonight NHL Playoffs: N.Y. Rangers at Buffalo Sabres, Game 5 (Versus). Rangers have tied the series after being down 2-0. NBA Playoffs: Toronto at New Jersey, Game 6 (ESPN/ESPN HD). Series heads back to New Jersey with Raptors facing extinction. Saturday NHL Playoffs: San Jose at Detroit, Game 5. Wings and Sharks are tied at 2 apiece. The Anaheim Ducks […]

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Reality TV

“Pirate Master” Just Got A Whole Lot Better

I had dismissed the new Pirate Master reality series coming to CBS May 31. Unless the show’s “pirates” were accosted by actual pirates, I probably wasn’t going to pay attention. Now my whole worldview and everything has changed. As reported on Deadspin and The Fanhouse and confirmed by CBS, one of the contestants on Pirate Master is none other than former Kansas City Chiefs running back “The Nigerian Nightmare” Christian Okoye. About the only thing that could surpass this would be if Donald Igwebuike somehow showed up on Flavor of Love.

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Sports

Does The Church Of Barbaro Have An Organist?

The Kentucky Derby is Saturday on NBC, and the field includes horses like Curlin (7-2 odds), Street Sense (4-1), Nobiz Like Shobiz (8-1), Circular Quay (8-1) and my favorite Imawildandcrazyguy (50-1). But this thing is still going to be all about Barbaro. The horse that wins on Saturday is going to have sing “My Old Kentucky Home” or cure cancer to get out of Barbaro’s shadow. ESPN’s E-Ticket has an interesting article on BarbaroMania for both good and ill. For as much freaky equine worship as the Fans of Barbaro (FOBs) are doing, they’re also raising a lot of money […]

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Sports

For Only $54.95, You Can Help Save Boxing From Extinction

This Saturday’s Pay-Per-View fight between Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather is definitely going to be worth the buy, even if the fight doesn’t live up to the hype. Fights of this caliber are rare, so you’ve got to see them when they come around. Both fighters are going to be in great shape, both really dislike each other (read what Oscar and Floyd have to say) and there’s a lot at stake for each of their legacies in the sport. But expecting that this fight is going to save the sport of boxing is silly. This fight will […]

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Sports

18 Hours And 5 Minutes Of Your Life You’ll Never Get Back

Every year I get excited for the NFL Draft, and every year it leaves me with a bit of a “blech” feeling about two hours into it. On Saturday, I got the feeling a little earlier than usual, thanks to Keyshawn Johnson in ESPN’s booth. [Update: It seems the Carolina Panthers felt the same.] It was a beautiful day here, so after I saw Wisconsin’s Joe Thomas taken at No. 3, I decided to let the DVR handle the rest of the first round for me. (A DVR makes the draft so much more tolerable.) I went to the zoo, […]

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Sports

The 4th OT: Release The Mel Kiper!

So perhaps you’ve heard that the NFL Draft is this weekend. Twenty years ago, people who watched the draft might have been called “dorks.” Now they’re called “guys.” And thank you, Gary Thorne, for reminding everyone about Curt Schilling’s bloody sock, because we didn’t hear enough about it three years ago. Fortunately, Schilling likes to avoid confrontation and spectacle, so this matter should be quickly forgotten.* [Update: Like I was just sayin’.] *May contain sarcasm Stuff going down this weekend: Tonight NBA Playoffs: A trio of Game 3s — Toronto Raptors at New Jersey Nets (ESPN2), Chicago Bulls at Miami […]

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Sports

The 4th OT: “I Love Stealing”

Hopefully you’ve had a chance to see the Gatorade “inner voice” commercial with Derek Jeter and Harvey Keitel, in which Keitel goads Jeter into stealing bases. It’s not online yet, but give it a few hours. [Update: Here’s a link to the YouTube. And this isn’t the first time I’ve misquoted Harvey Keitel. I’ve been misquoting Monkey Trouble for years.] Alas, the Pittsburgh Penguins have been eliminated from the NHL playoffs. The guy who operates NBC’s “Crosby Cam” is hitting the bricks today. Here’s what’s on this weekend: Tonight NASCAR Busch Series Bashas’ Supermarkets 200 at Phoenix International Raceway, ESPN2. […]

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Sports

NBA Playoffs Preview: “Shaq Must Be Spinning In His Grave”

I owe the title of the NBA playoff preview post to TNT’s NBA analyst Reggie Miller. This is the same Reggie Miller who, during a pregame show, asked guest Stevie Wonder, “What do you expect to see in tonight’s game?” Keep up the good work, Reggie. The playoff matchups are set and the first games get started on Saturday. Here’s the weekend’s schedule of Game 1s, along with our pick for the series winner: Saturday (All times Eastern) New Jersey at Toronto, 12:30pm, ESPN. Our Pick: Vince Carter will not get a nice welcome back in Toronto, and the Raptors […]