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Reality TV

“Dance Moms” finale recap: Behind Barres

And so it ends … with another come-from-behind triumph for Chloe, a day of reckoning for Abby, an applause-worthy lecture from Dr. Holly and a ballet instructor who looks like Robert Goulet. But, it doesn’t end for long, since all-new eps will be back in June — and so will Abby despite her tearstained little hissy-pissy tonight. Mark my words. We ended last season — and several episodes this season — thinking Maddie and Mac might not be back, and there they were without a mention of The Troubles come the season 2 premiere. We may see Abby being fanned […]

Recap

“Dance Moms” recap: There’s Just One Me In Team

Does anyone else besides me remember how we were feeling when we reached the eleventh episode of Season 1? The Maddie-versus-Chloe showdown had reached a fever pitch, with the two duking it out onstage in a stunner of a Black Swan duet, battling for solo supremacy, and about to face off in the competition of their lives. No, not Nationals. Noooo, not for a spot in the Joffrey ballet school. Not even for the top of the all-hallowed pyramid. Nay, they were throwing down for a spot in a music video for a girl named Lux! Turns out we were talking […]

Lifestyle

“Dance Moms” recap part 2: A Big Baby Wrote Me A Letter

Aaaaaand we’re back. At the halfway mark, we’re finally in Chicago at the Co. Dance competition and convention, and — if Abby is to be believed — unofficial gathering of the Abby Lee Miller fan club, which is everyone. Sadly, she has traded out my dearly beloved lip necklace for a set that looks like slices of a bright blue geode formed themselves a chain gang for committing a crime of fashion. • Missed part one? Read it here. Yep-per, this does appear to be one fancy-pants competition. The stage is beautifully appointed and lit, which will make a nice change […]

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Lifestyle

“Dance Moms” recap part one: Ode To A Whole Bunch Of Clowns

Oh fer the … First Lifetime takes away the next-day full-episode video on their own website and now it’s gone from iTunes and Amazon, too? And just when I was starting to enjoy being able to exchange the laptop for a bowl of popcorn (snackies AND missiles that can be launched at Abby without harming the flatscreen!) and call the play-by-play come morning at my desk. A fistful of greasy kernels in your general direction, Lifetime. You guys know my memory’s not that good. Cough up those shows. In any case, I’m guessing this one may have a laundry list of […]

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Drama

“Sons of Anarchy” recap: Eureka

What starts out with good intentions leads to … well, where the road paved with good intentions often leads to. The club is running guns under the cover of a blood drive to the town of Eureka. Before takeoff, Jax tells Tara he loves her, and Tara suddenly realizes she’s arrived at the status of “old lady.” And she seems OK with it. As the gang prepares to take off, we’re treated to the sight of Bobby’s beloved but decrepit Fat Boy bike, belching a cloud of smoke that would make Greenpeace take notice. Seems like a throwaway character detail, […]

Kenan Thompson and Jaleel White guest-star on "Psych" episode "High Top Fade Out"
Comedy

“Psych” Recap: High Top Fade Out

An action chase opens “High Top Fade Out,” the latest episode of USA’s Psych. A preppy man on a bicycle pedals frantically away from a sketchy car driven by gun-toting thugs. The chase leads to an alley where the man loses control of the bike. He sets off on foot, acrobatically leaping up a fire escape ladder, and makes it into his apartment, where he has just enough time to upload and email some kind of video before the thugs bust the door open and strangle him. A surprisingly intense and violent opening (Who directed this episode? Michael Bay!?), but […]

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Comedy

“Psych” Recap: Bollywood Homicide

Shawn gives Abigail a tour of the police station, pointing out all of the key landmarks, places especially marked by his bravado. She also meets Juliet, which is an entirely awkward exchange as Jules struggles to sound casual. Luckily, Lassiter interrupts with an urgent police issue, the impending interrogation of a young Indian man whose girlfriends all suffer strange and mysterious accidents. Raj (the dreamy Sendhil Ramamurthy) believes that a curse is targeting every girl he falls in love with and putting them in mortal danger. His latest flame was nearly crushed by a runaway truck during a break from […]

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Comedy

Countdown To Extinction Week 6: A “Cavemen” Recap

Like “The Onion” once did with John Leguizamo’s abysmal sketch show “House of Buggin’,” we’re going to provide weekly recaps of “Cavemen” until it gets canceled. Thanks to a malfunctioning TiVo and some trouble with the “Watch Full Episodes” portion of ABC’s website, the recap is a little late this week. (OK, fine — really late.) So let’s not waste another minute in getting to the recap. As “Rock Vote” begins, there is a California state election coming up, and Nick and Joel each have a candidate for whom they believe an undecided — and incredibly uninformed — Andy should […]

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Comedy

Countdown To Extinction Week 5: A “Cavemen” Recap

Like “The Onion” once did with John Leguizamo’s abysmal sketch show “House of Buggin’,” we’re going to provide weekly recaps of “Cavemen” until it gets canceled. Sweet Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson! Cavemen is back (after a one-week layoff so that ABC could air It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown) and so are we. Given the current writers’ strike, I can’t imagine that the show will get canceled any time soon, either, despite the fact that ABC has yet to order more episodes as it has done for Samantha Who?, Private Practice and Pushing Daisies. No matter what anyone (myself included) […]

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Comedy

Countdown To Extinction Week 4: A “Cavemen” Recap

Like “The Onion” once did with John Leguizamo’s abysmal sketch show “House of Buggin’,” we’re going to provide weekly recaps of “Cavemen” until it gets canceled. If you watched the first three episodes of Cavemen (come on, I can’t be the only one) you know that Nick’s work ethic is a bit lacking. So, when “The Mascot” begins with him getting ready for his new job as a substitute schoolteacher, it’s a momentous occasion — one that requires the taunting by his roommates. But, as it turns out, Nick’s not the only one looking for work: Andy has put together […]