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Reality TV

Return Of The Reality

Hey there, reality people! Did you miss me? After Jaslene posed her way to the title of America’s Next Top Model (told you!), Jordin became the newest American Idol and Andy (smartly) chose to walk off into the sunset with Tessa, I have to admit I got a little reality burned out and needed a little reality break. After all, I thought I’d take a little summertime breather. Silly, silly me. Before I knew it, pirates were invading, I started thinking I could dance, and I found myself taking a little snoozer on the lot. Nice and rested from my […]

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Reality TV

E-GADS!

What the hell is E! thinking?! It was announced yesterday that the entertainment network is in talks with Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina about fronting her own reality show. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love me some True Hollywood Story, those Girls Next Door and even my latest guilty pleasure Sunset Tan (more on that tomorrow). But giving Hollywood’s most despicable mother her own series? That’s just taking this whole “celeb” reality thing a little too far, E. “Mom-ager” will apparently follow Mother Lohan as she seeks stardom for Ali, 14, and Cody, 11. Great idea, Dina. Stardom worked […]

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Reality TV

Old McConaughey Had A Farm …

Dear CW, I’m concerned. I hear you’re casting a show about “attractive, young REAL cowboys and/or farmers for a major network TV Show similar to The Bachelor. Think Matthew McConaughey … a man’s man … but still very attractive!” If you can pull this off, good on you! But having grown up in a farming community myself, I’m a little confused. I’m pretty sure that guys that look like Matthew McConaughey don’t show up all that often. Or, ever. And really, would you want them to? Well, maybe … Sincerely, Sarah P.S. If you need help casting … I’m available. […]

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Reality TV

America’s Next Top Cha-Cha Diva?

Little birdies — tiny, petite, size zero birdies — are chirping that Chicago native Jaslene Gonzales is going to be named America’s Next Top Model. Could it be that one of the competition’s biggest underdogs (you know she was thisclose to making it into the Cycle 7 cast) is going to win the grand prize (Say it with me, now: “A modeling contract with Elite Model Management, a six-page spread and cover of Seventeen magazine and a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl cosmetics”)? After the disappointing result of last night’s The Amazing Race: All Stars (Eric and Danielle? Really? They’re […]

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Reality TV

“Pirate Master” Just Got A Whole Lot Better

I had dismissed the new Pirate Master reality series coming to CBS May 31. Unless the show’s “pirates” were accosted by actual pirates, I probably wasn’t going to pay attention. Now my whole worldview and everything has changed. As reported on Deadspin and The Fanhouse and confirmed by CBS, one of the contestants on Pirate Master is none other than former Kansas City Chiefs running back “The Nigerian Nightmare” Christian Okoye. About the only thing that could surpass this would be if Donald Igwebuike somehow showed up on Flavor of Love.

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Reality TV

Who Loves Chachi?

When I heard the fantastic news about Scott Baio’s pending reality dating show Scott Baio Is 45 … And Single, a quick Google took me to an even more fantastic article from Radar Magazine. Chachi was promoting his 2005 stint on Arrested Development, but it’s his definitive answer to the “Would you ever be on The Surreal Life?” question that’s the real kicker. “No. I just think it’s very indulgent, self-serving. It’s just not what I want to do with my life. I don’t want to be that guy. I don’t have to be that guy. I know this is […]

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Reality TV

All Dolled Up

I didn’t want to watch Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. I even blogged about the premiere and how awful it was, what with Robin Antin’s scary lips and the Dolls’ messed up message. Then, I watched it again. And again. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with a little underdog named Chelsea. She used to be overweight! She’s “not a trained dancer!” She looks great with big, blunt bangs! As Asia, Melissa R. and even too-big-to-be-a-Doll* Anastacia danced circles around Chelsea, she worked her ass off, and I kept my fingers crossed that […]

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Reality TV

HE DIDN’T HEAR HIM!!

Rest easy, America. Simon Cowell is not a heartless meanie! See? Even the children love him! In a FOX conference call today, executive producer Ken Warwick explained — and explained again … and again — that despite appearances in last night’s broadcast, the often blase judge did not (did you get that? DID NOT!) roll his eyes at a remark made by contestant Chris Richardson regarding this week’s tragedy at Virginia Tech University. “Simon didn’t hear him!” Warwick repeatedly exclaimed. Turns out, Simon was reacting to Richardson’s justification of his nasally performance as a conscious, recognizable singing style — a […]

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Reality TV

The Beautiful People, The Beautiful People

MSNBC is premiering a reality series?! I’m SHOCKED! I’m OUTRAGED! Reality TV on a NEWS network?! OK, OK, who am I kidding? Being the reluctant reality junkie that I am, there was never really a question of whether or not I’d watch another show about The Beautiful People. Going in to episode 1 of Models NYC, which premieres with a special sneak peek this Saturday, April 14 (regular episodes air Mondays beginning April 16), I had high expectations. After all, I’m still nursing the pain of losing VH1’s erratic, dramatic bitch-fest The Agency. MSNBC, I decided, had to bring something […]

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Reality TV

Quickies

Baby Phat mogul Kimora Lee Simmons is getting her own show on Style Network. Scheduled to premiere this summer, the series will “peek inside the hip-hop halls” of her fashion empire, take us inside her personal life with her daughters (ex-husband Russell Simmons got no mention in Style’s press release), and promises “to open a lot of women’s eyes to the possibilities life has to offer.” No doubt, we’ll get a crash course in the former talk show host and model’s “fabulosity.” On MTV, what happens in Vegas … happens in Vegas again. The network has announced that, in addition […]