Lori Acken, Author at Channel Guide Magazine

WWE’s Mr. Kennedy: Mistuhhhhhhhh Newlywed … Newlywed!

January 7, 2008 Lori Acken Comments Off

Posted by ButtonKnows WWE fans (and other supporters of Green Bay’s Non-Favre hometown sports hero) might want to extend more good wishes than just for his survival against Triple H during tonight’s live airing of RAW. The WWE superstar known for being equal parts big ego and big mouth — and for handily wrapping up 2007 by besting HBK himself — will forgo watching his hometown football team in the playoffs this weekend to walk down the aisle with his fianceé and head off on a Mexican honeymoon. Congrats to him and the soon to be Missssussssssss Kennedy … er, […]

Jai Rodriguez: From “Queer Eye” to Style Guy

December 20, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

He spent five seasons — and earned an Emmy — transforming average Joes and their average homes into works of workable chic. Now Jai Rodriguez has teamed up with Style Network to bring Ultimate Style to everyone with a taste for “the latest” and a half hour to spare every Saturday night. Tapping the wisdom of fashion and lifestyle trendsetters wherever they happen to find them — on the catwalks and on the streets, in the salons and in their homes — Jai and his cohost, fellow beauty-on-a-budget guru Daisy Fuentes, use their own expertise to help you translate the […]

Warning: Dancing With The Stars May Be Hazardous To Your — And Your Parents’ — Health

November 6, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

Yikes! If you ever a) get famous, b) get slightly less famous and c) are then recruited for Dancing With The Stars, you may want to ask your mom and dad first. Especially if you are several decades past the point of having to ask your mom and dad first. See, first Jane Seymour’s DWTS-loving mom passed away the day after a performance show. Then Jane herself came down with a raging case of food poisoning. Theeeeen Marie Osmond passed out cold during a performance show. (Then Sabrina Bryan got eliminated, which seems to have struck everyone on Earth but […]

Dog The Bounty Hunter: The Dog Gets Muzzled.

November 5, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

I’m about the biggest fan of Dog The Bounty Hunter, ever. Well I was, anyway. I mean, I still love the show and what now appears to be the character Duane Chapman played when the cameras were rolling. But the man, himself? I’m not sure what to think. For Dog’s detractors, it seems pretty simple: the man is a red-neck, grammar-be-damned, dictatorial racist. Period. Maybe you have it in you to feel for him a little that it was his own son who sold a private conversation for personal gain. Possibly for love. Possibly because he was denied a spot […]

Ellen and Iggy: You’ve Got E-Mail

October 26, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

Okay, I forget exactly what day we’re on in IggyGate (and hey, Us Magazine, I called it that first, man, so nerny, nerny on you). But just as things were starting to die down a little, and life in Ellenville was getting back to dancing and presents, it looks like the über-sleuths of The Smoking Gun have unearthed a pretty authentic-looking email exchange betwixt all parties involved. And it ain’t looking good for E & P’s version of events. Or for spelling and grammar, in the case of the scorned hairdresser. Meanwhile, various media outlets are rumbling that the real […]

Ellen and Iggy: If Ya Can’t Beat ‘Em, Put A Sad Lookin’ Kid On The Air.

October 19, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

Let’s see where we are, here on Day Three of Iggy-gate. Iggy … ‘member Iggy?… There he is! So cute in his little T-shirt! No wonder everyone is fighting over him. Iggy … has been placed with another family. Who hopefully live in rural Kansas and will not let him watch TV, use the Internet or read the tabloids until he is old enough to understand. Meanwhile, his first mother, Ellen …’member Ellen? … There she is! …doesn’t want to talk about it any more. Ellen doesn’t want to talk about anything anymore. So she’s taken her show off the […]

Ellen and Iggy Pup (What Would Angelina Say?)

October 17, 2007 Lori Acken 6

Oh, MAN! If there are two things I can’t stand, it’s seeing pets in peril and nice people cry. Ellen DeGeneres is a nice people. She is. Nicer than most people I know … and I know a lot of nice ones. The lady wears her heart on her sleeve without making you want to barf, and her show is a bigger bucket of happy and dancing and presents and people having a good time and nice conversation than everything else on TV combined. Like Barney for grown-ups, but with better music. Take two episodes of Ellen — except yesterday’s […]

C.S.I.: Er, This Is Not The Way To Stave Off McDreamy

October 5, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

What the hell was that? I mean, when Tarantino grabbed the reins at C.S.I., the show got a little goofy and an extra dab creepy, but at least it kept a pinkie toe within the bounds of believability. And most importantly, it was still great fun, and completely engrossing, to watch. Last night, after having a plot thread that promised the reunion of the team plus a tasty side dish of Sara/Grissom romance dangled in our eager faces, what we got instead was an endlessly tasteless mishmash that appeared to be penned by a gang of frat boys with posters […]

House: Osama The Astronaut Gets A Lifesaving Boob Job

October 3, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

Or House: Kumar With No Harold Goes to Princeton-Plainsboro Or House: I Hear Cameron, Chase and Foreman. With My Eyes. Forgive me for a quick minute while I try to land that whole thing about hearing with one’s eyes — the primary complaint of Patient du Jour for Season 4, episode 2. Cause I’m really stuck on that sucker. And whether or not I’m actually continually aware that sound enters through the sides of my head alone. And how, since PdJ actually seems to be having a particularly visual acid trip more so than any auditory issues, she decided she […]

House: He’s A Loner, Cuddy. A Rebel.

October 3, 2007 Lori Acken Comments Off

As the official, card-carrying, biggest fan of House, like, ever, I’ve come to a couple conclusions. One, it’s a darned good thing I’ve never been hospitalized for anything more confounding than childbirth. Because if my own medical team were forced to break into my home in search of what ails me, about all they’d discover — courtesy of 3 cats, a zillion-year-old house and five other family members who can mess a hell of a lot faster than I can clean — is that I should have been dead a long time ago. And two, after last Tuesday’s hilarious, heartbreaking […]