Super Bowl LII: Bringing Sexy Back!

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What Is This? Super Bowl LII, the NFL’s championship game for the 2017 season, is played Feb. 4 at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis.

Isn’t It Cold There? The Feb. 4 temperatures in Minneapolis historically average a low of 9 degrees and a high of 26, but everyone will be nice and cozy inside the climate-controlled confines of U.S. Bank Stadium.

What’s LII In Regular Numbers? 52

Is It On TV? Yes, on NBC. Al Michaels calls the game with analyst Cris Collinsworth and reporter Michele Tafoya. NBC wants to remind you that it also airs the Winter Olympics, a.k.a. the Super Bowl of bobsledding.

How Many People Watch It? Insanely many. FOX says Super Bowl LI reached a total audience of 172 million, more than any other program in U.S. TV history.

Who’s Playing At Halftime? Pop star Justin Timberlake headlines the halftime spectacle. Pink, reportedly also a pop star, sings the national anthem before kickoff.

Wait. Didn’t He…? Oh, yes he did. It was Timberlake who shocked and horrified the nation at halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII in 2004 when he removed a piece of Janet Jackson’s clothing, exposing most of her right breast to about 143 million TV viewers. This “wardrobe malfunction” resulted in nearly 540,000 complaints to the FCC in what would become the long national nightmare of “Nipplegate.” Timberlake is a controversial pick for this year’s halftime show, but we’re tantalized by a possible Jackson guest appearance.

RELATED: Janet Jackson’s Stylist Wayne Scot Lukas tells us what really went down with Nipplegate

What Should You Buy? If you’re easily swayed by advertisements during Super Bowls, you’ll likely soon crave Stella Artois, Avocados from Mexico, Coca-Cola, Doritos, Groupon offers, M&M’s, Pringles, and a new Kia and Hyundai with WeatherTech floor mats. A 30-second spot is expected to cost marketers just over $5 million. Isn’t it insane to pay so much for something on TV that you’ve already posted for free on YouTube? Yes, it is.

How About Football? There is some in between commercials. It involves the New England Patriots yet again, this time facing the Philadelphia Eagles. Super Bowl LI saw the Patriots staging a big comeback for a 34-28 overtime win against the Atlanta Falcons. Expect Super Bowl LII to be much, much less exciting than that.

Not Sad Enough? If you’re not already depressed over the outcome of the game or the quantity of cream cheese you consumed, NBC will jerk your tears with a new episode of This Is Us after the Super Bowl.

About Ryan Berenz 2053 Articles
Some thing I like (in no particular order): Sports, Star Wars, LEGO, beer, 'The Simpsons' Seasons 1-13, my family and the few friends who are not embarrassed to be seen with me. Why yes, I am very interested in how much you like 'Alaskan Bush People.' #LynxForLife