Jane the Virgin Chapter 46 recap: This bites!

Jane-The-Virgin-Season3-EP2-Chapter46-Jane-Michael Michael Desmond/The CW

Well it doesn’t look like Jane is going to lose her virginity in this episode of Jane the Virgin either. It’s a good thing Michael made it out alive, but he’s not able to have his heartrate go up for another six weeks. That means hands off, you two!

Yikes! Rogelio is talented at what he does but I don’t think he can add “swapping urine commercials” onto his resume. He’s right when he says that Esteban is ahead of him at becoming a crossover star.

Wow, that is some cherry wallpaper Alba has! Just the perfect touch to keep Jane and Michael from starting their honeymoon early. You’ve still got it, Alba.

Jane might be having a harder time with Michael’s shooting than he is. She’s been having nasty nightmares and hasn’t been able to walk the Marbella halls because of it. Now she’s uneasy about Michael going back to work since Rose is still on the loose.

Dang, Anezka is really getting around! First Rafael and now Scott?

Everyone was thinking that Rafael was still in love with Jane, even after she got married. Turns out it’s the complete opposite. Rafael tells Jane that he’s finally over her and how great it feels. That still has to hurt.

Jane the Virgin Jane Mateo Rafael
Robert Voets/The CW

Because Rafael feels this new power, not having to always make Jane happy, he wants to switch Mateo’s preschool to somewhere he likes, too. Nope. No. I’m not giving up hope on Jane and Rafael. It’s almost 2017 — a lot has changed about marriage over the years.

Xo didn’t tell Alba about her abortion. She thought her mom knew about it and was constantly dropping hints until Xo confessed, but it was just Xo being paranoid. When Xo finally told Alba the truth, her mom had no words to say to her. You could feel the pain in that room through the TV screen.

Oof. Mateo has now turned into a little zombie and likes to bite people. This is why I avoid kids.

Even though Alba told Xo to have an abortion when she was pregnant with Jane, she’s not supporting Xo’s decision to have an abortion now. Alba says that she regrets ever telling Xo it was okay for her to have an abortion. Since Alba can’t just forgive Xo, the two end their fighting in front of Mateo and Xo leaves to spend the night at Rogelio’s.

Michael convinces Jane that he loves his job and that he’s not afraid to go back. Since Jane loves Michael, this is enough for her to feel certain that it’s okay for him to return to his job. But he’ll need to wear a bulletproof vest at all times, of course.

After a bite from Mateo, Michael breaks down and tells Jane that he just now realized that he almost died. Jane followed the steps given by Mateo’s new preschool teacher to comfort another of Mateo’s bite victims, Michael realized that he really is a victim. Mateo’s chomp might have hurt a little, but that gunshot left more damage than the doctors could fix.

Jane reassures Michael that he’ll be fine and they’ll get through this together.

Jane texts Xo to come home, only to see Alba tearing up her cherry wallpaper. Alba tells Xo that she really didn’t like the wallpaper but she didn’t want to admit it. Just as she’s ripping off the wallpaper and going to move on, she also wants her and Xo to move on. Jane, Xo and Alba all proceed to bond while shredding off the beautiful cherry wallpaper. Aw. R.I.P., cherry wallpaper.

Jane the Virgin — Xo and Alba
Michael Desmond/The CW

Apparently Anezka and Scott are a thing now. Ew. Anezka must really trust Scott because she tells him about her snooping around Rafael’s office for dirt on him. She’s sleeping with the perfect guy because Scott has dirt on everyone at the Marbella, and now Scott and Anezka are going to work together to take down Rafael.

What a tease! Michael’s doctor clears him for having sex even though Michael thought he was still two weeks away. The doctor didn’t need to say anything more. I’ve never seen someone run out of a doctor’s office so fast! Of course, this is where the episode ends. Maybe next week, Jane. Maybe next week.

What were your thoughts on this episode of Jane the Virgin? Do you think Alba had a right to be upset with Xo? Do you like this new relationship between Anezka and Scott? They’re nothing but trouble! Do you really think Rafael is completely over Jane? Do they still have a chance? Will Jane finally lose her virginity in the next episode? I feel like we’re just getting teased again. Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

Jane the Virgin airs Mondays at 9/8CT