On A&E’s 60 Days In “All Pain, No Gain” (Sept. 1), Dion is the last participant to enter the program, Ryan’s alliance with Garza grows stronger, Chris is extremely ill, and Sheri and Ashleigh form a bond.
Hello, friends. Welcome back to F-Pod, where the ladies are feeling a little slap happy since Ashleigh arrived.
It was a tough first night for Ashleigh, what with all the things of a highly sexual nature going on all around her. She tries to place a phone call to her husband, Zac, but he won’t answer the phone because he’s probably out at the bar with his buddies celebrating his sweet, sweet freedom. Ashleigh is not pleased.
Sheri is also not pleased, since she no longer has Brenda for protection from the ire of Wackenzie. Sheri spends most of her time with a blanket over her shoulders fearing an imminent Wackenzie ambush.
Meanwhile, things are getting better for Ryan since last week, when the other inmates thought he was a plant.
The consensus has changed.
Ryan has earned the trust of Garza, and Garza invites Ryan up to share his bedchamber. (Sorry, that sounded weirder than I meant it to.)
Finally, Dion “D.I.” enters the program. Dion’s a bright young man who’s been studying criminal justice for the past six years. Wait. Six years? Jeez, shouldn’t he be like a detective or something by now? Where did he study, ITT Tech?
Chris, Brian and Dion enter the classification pod together (remember, none of them are aware the others are also in the program) with one one really talkative guy who tries to be friendly but is just really a pain in the ass.
It looks like Sir Patrick Stewart has fallen on hard times. But I commend him for keeping a positive outlook on what must be his 23rd time in jail.
Chris, Dion and Brian are not amused.
Dion says that he wanted to tell Sir Patrick to “Please, just shut the f*ck up.” I think Dion’s missing out on the opportunity to learn the wisdom of the elders.
Elsewhere, Monalisa is moaning about her thin, crappy bedroll and how it hurts her back and blah blah blah here’s your king-sized Verlo Sleep Number mattress, Your Majesty! Monalisa summons an OC and asks about getting a new bedroll. The OC basically says “Meh” and tells her to swing a trade with a cellmate for a better one. Of course, no one in their right mind would make that trade, and so the OC offers this advice:
WOAH! So that’s how it’s gonna be? The OC eventually softens his Being a Dick policy and brings Her Royal Highness Monalisa a soft, cushiony bedroll. And still she finds something to complain about …
After witnessing OG vs. Some Guy in The Brawl With the Broomstick in last week’s episode, Quintin isn’t really liking prison too much, either. His PIN code isn’t working to make a phone call, and he wants to let his daughter know that he’s OK in prison. Quintin also wishes to express his dissatisfaction about the accommodations to the hotel manager.
Back in D-Pod, there’s trouble brewing between Garza and Treshawn. A little verbal sparring escalates into FISTICUFFS! Let’s see that one again. Garza follows Treshawn into the cell, takes off his shirt and then BOOM! That’s gotta hurt.
Tough to say who won that fight. We don’t get to see the action as it happens, and both guys walk away. We’ll call it a draw. But Garza messed up his hand, and it looks like he busted a knuckle. Fortunately, Ryan’s got Army medic skills and pops that sucker right back into place.
This kind of free medical attention should earn Ryan much love from Garza and his crew, but Capt. Scottie Maples warns that once you do someone a favor, they’re going to start expecting favors again and again. That’s Obamacare for ya.
Dion, Brian and Chris are sitting in the classification pod. Dion’s not happy with the cold chicken. Prison is the best thing that’s ever happened to Brian. He likes the food, he’s not getting heartburn and his back feels good after sleeping in the crappy bunk. Things are not as good for Chris, who looks like he’s is going to barf all over the place. And then Chris barfs … for eight hours. Dion assumes that Chris is a drug addict suffering from the DTs.
Sir Patrick observes the goings on with a curious eye.
The girls in F-Pod get to go to the recreation center once a week. The rec center is just as miserable as everywhere else, but it has a basketball hoop. Few of the ladies do any physical activity. They play cards or listen to their headphones, which they already do back in F-Pod, so what’s the point of this? At least throw a few dodgeballs in there at let the girls have at it. Nothing harmlessly releases aggression like a great game of dodgeball. Maybe it would’ve helped Wackenzie vent some frustrations instead of mouthing off to an OC. It’s unclear what she said or what the OC thought she might’ve said, but it earned her a trip to segregation.
Sheri rejoices. Her nemesis got seg’d, and she can roam the pod with impunity. Sheri seems to be taking a liking to Ashleigh, and (I think) it’s nothing ass-related. We saw what happened last season when two inmates figured out that the other was in the program, and it’s just not as entertaining.
Looks like Chris is ready to tap out of the program even before he leaves classification. But the party’s just gettin’ started for Brian.