Hiya Preacher fans! It’s Sunday and church is in session!
To begin, we meet Danny … who is not a guy. Danny would like her husband whacked, but Tulip’s not interested. However, she is interested in the paperwork being handed off. What’s Grail Industries … a holy bunch (wink)? Hmmm? We’ll have to wait and see. Danny takes the paperwork from Tulip, stuffs it away, and it’s a dead topic.
In exchange for the Grail stuff, Tulip gets a slip of paper containing a “last known address.” Of who? Tulip recalls the day everything ended for Jesse and her. An alarm rings and a car speeds off, leaving her behind. It’s evidently a relationship and a job gone bad, but based on her little flashback, Jesse’s hairstyle has improved drastically.
In Houston, Danny walks into a nondescript building. Inside, she enters a room filled with lots of old bald guys watching either The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or a snuff film. I’m betting on the latter. She hands the Grail stuff to a baldy who takes it and waves her off.
Danny leaves and so does he. It’s clear he’s got somewhere to be.
On his way out, he passes a Snuff Film Festival flier (I win). A whole festival just for snuff films? Whoever heard of such a thing? The answer is no one except people who need electroshock therapy.
At the Sundowner Motel, the two unknowns and Sheriff Root discuss something that “got loose.” Whatever it is, it must be put back where it came from because it’s definitely going to screw sh-t up if it’s not. A very serious matter, indeed.
Before the meeting ends, the taller of the unknowns – the one whose facial expression never changes – instructs Root to tell no one and leave them alone. Horrible social skills, this guy. His partner makes it more normal with the ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’ spiel.
Before he leaves, Root reminds us nothing is normal in “this world” with an anecdote about some parents who lost two of their children to a crazy pretzel vendor at the amusement park. It’s a grisly tale.
When Root is gone, the two unknowns confer on the situation. They’re “running out of time.” They’re gonna give the coffee can another try, but it’s still at the church. Time to return with an arsenal.
Tracy Loach’s eyes are wide open, but that’s about it. Her mother tells Emily that Jesse, tipsy as usual, stopped by earlier and left in a hurry after praying with Tracy. In the background, Tracy’s little brother is sitting on her bed, Snapchatting unseemly family photos. Mom shoos him off. Tracy ain’t better, but her eyes are open. Mom thinks it’s a sign. I think it’s terrible. This world …
Donnie takes it upon himself to walk his freckled child to the bus so they can have a father-son talk about how “complicated” grown-ups are. It’s beyond disturbing. When Donnie’s finished, the boy explains how he beat the daylights out of a kid at school for talking crap about the “bunny in a bear-trap” incident. Yep. Violence leads to more violence. Off to the bus.
The pedophile driver, face bandaged, greets the kids. Before Freckles boards, Janie does – the little girl with whom the driver was so obsessed. It appears he has completely forgotten all about her. He doesn’t even remember her name. This is good … for now. I do hope it stays good, but I’m not putting my faith in anything at this point.
Donnie steps up to ask the driver about the bandage, but the entire bus erupts into a cacophony of bunny squealing. He recoils. Freckles is going to have a lot of ass to kick in defense of dear old Dad. Shite.
Much banging on the church doors wakes Cassidy from his slumber. He looks outside and spies a casket. Emily, who has gotten in on her own, startles him. It was her beating on the door. Delivery dropped off the casket earlier. She wants Cassidy to get off his arse and do something useful before the day is done. Thank GOD for sunglasses!
Whilst prepping himself for a day of service, Cassidy finds Jesse in the shadows. Jesse has something to show him.
Elsewhere, on a stretch of empty highway, Tulip is pulled over for speeding. With big eyes and many lies, she charms the copper. He lets her go. She lets him live.
Back at the church, Jesse shows Cassidy the thing. Cassidy may not be of this earth, but he’s not above Jesse’s powers. He hops up and down on one foot, admits his admiration for Justin Bieber, and then flies face-first into a wall. Very un-preacherly, using super powers for mischief!
Quinncannon Meat & Power – QM&P – is doing business as usual. The bald guy with the briefcase from last week is finishing up lunch. His name is Odin. The only other Odin I know of is a god, so he’s got that going for him. Also, what’s with all the bald? Whatever the case, he’s a bigwig in a big chair shrouded by a big moo-stery. Bad pun. Last thing I want to do is start a beef with my readers. I cownt on you guys! Alright, I’ll stop. I don’t need to be put out to pasture for milking it too long.
Outside the church, the sign says, “JESUS IS COMING … RUN.” Guess the sign vandals love the ellipsis too.
Inside, Jesse and Cassidy mull over whether or not Jesse’s a Jedi. Cassidy’s completely “stoked” at the prospect. Jesse, however, is not. He feels like he’s got a blender full of the best and worst sh-t ever mucking up his guts. But Cassidy’s brain is workin’ overtime. “Just imagine the possibilities,” Padre! Muwahahahahahaaaa! An evil genius finger-tent would work here, but not with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of RATWATER in the other.
Back at QM&P, Donnie tries desperately to grow back his very tiny testicles. He reads Odin a letter from Green Acres, a company that wants to partner up in a more eco-friendly manner. Donnie offers to hunt them down and kick their asses, but he can’t even clear the tray from Odin’s lunch. Pfft. Lotta good a right hand man is when he can only use his left one. Donnie’s ire grows.
Cassidy is making himself useful by burning up the casket delivery in the crematorium. He’s wearing a Southwestern poncho, sunglasses and a coolie hat. He looks ridiculous.
Outside, he sees the freaky fellas drive by. The two are after Jesse, though Cassidy still believes he’s the target, even after the church fiasco. Drug-induced paranoia or severe self-importance? You pick.
Jesse’s on the road too. He looks wasted as usual, but I think it’s actually stress and confusion this time. Both are equally dangerous while operating a motor vehicle. Tulip drives up alongside him. More danger.
Jesse pulls over. They share smokes and talk. He asks if he seems different. Other than looking like sh-t, nope … and since he’s got nothing more interesting, she turns the conversation to herself. Danny. The job. Blah blah blah.
Jesse wants nothing to do with it. He is resolute. NO MAS! Shut up, Tulip! GOD has directed Jesse, and he’s gonna follow. She oughta just … bust out that little slip of paper with that last known address and send Jesse into a flashback about Carlos.
The speeding car in the beginning contained “ratbastardmoneystealingchildkillingliferuiningsonofabitch” Carlos … and it ain’t about crime. It’s about justice. Seems baptism and confession is not near enough to cleanse Carols of his sins. Jesse’s tune changes. He hasn’t let go of all the demons. He snatches the paper from her hand.
Tulip tells him, “There’s no such thing as good guys, Jesse. There’s just guys.” She’s slick. By the time she’s done with him, his truck sits on the side of the road and they speed off together to deliver Carlos his last rites.
As the two mystery men march up to the church, packing serious heat, Cassidy plows them over with the church van. They must be clones! Shite. Now he’s “gotta clean ’em up all over again. BOLLOCKS!” (another great word).
He heads into the church for cleaning supplies and realizes they’re low. One garbage bag? As he scans the shelves, he hears the church doors open. He grabs something that looks like a spotlight and heads out to face the varmints. He finds the tall one lying between two pews and starts smacking him. The other one tells him to knock it off. They haven’t come for him. They want Jesse.
Jesse and Tulip, meanwhile, stop at a gas station. He looks less determined. He doesn’t want Chili Cheese Fritos, but he does want to tell Tulip something. He looks her right in the eye … and tells her he has to pee. Fail.
In the bathroom, who should he meet but Donnie! What is this guy? A bunny or a bloodhound? Donnie holds a gun on Jesse. Who is the bunny in the bear-trap now? I’m pretty sure the answer hasn’t changed.
He makes Jesse get on his knees. Jesse rolls his eyes but complies. Jesse lets Donnie spout until it becomes annoying. Jesse “ain’t gonna squeal,” and he ain’t gonna die neither.
Jesse promises Donnie he’ll make it look like a suicide so the town doesn’t know he was beaten like a bitch twice. He then stands and orders Donnie to back off. Donnie must comply, of course.
Jesse makes Donnie park his ass on the toilet, which is good because he’s about to crap himself. Jesse commands him to put the gun in his mouth and pull back the hammer. Jesse’s eyes glaze over, and we see much potential for bad, bad things, but he recovers and tells Donnie to take the gun out of his mouth. Wonder if Donnie’s learned yet?
Donnie scurries away, and Jesse exits the john a new man. His mind is changed. He wants to leave Carlos to God. Tulip, of course, pitches a fit … this isn’t what she wants at all. Jesse walks off yet again.
Back at the church, Cassidy is discussing Jesse’s indigestion with the clones. They’re from Heaven, actually. They merely want the thing inside Jesse. Cassidy is relieved he’s not their target, but he can’t be left out, so he convinces the angels he’s the perfect bloke to help lure Jesse’s gut goblin into the coffee can.
Eugene and Sheriff Root talk. Eugene’s heard about Tracy and wants to visit. Dad tells him no way. Stay put. The world ain’t “polka dots and moon beams.” It’s a “monster swamp.”
Jesse holds a memorial for dead Ted. Not a soul, aside from Emily, attends. Maybe Root is right.
And there ya have it, Preacher faithful! And I have questions, so help a girl out with some comments.
- I was accosted on Twitter by a fan of the comics for questioning why more of the world isn’t watching Preacher. So, other comic fans … what do you think so far?
- Grail Industries … holy or no-ly?
- How many different ways are the two strangels going to bite it before they either succeed or give up?
- Donnie’s next move? And the likely outcome?
- How and when will Tulip get her way?
Sound off people! Let’s talk! If not here, chat me up on Twitter during episodes @KimberlyThies1!
New episodes of Preacher premiere Sundays at 9/8CT on AMC.