Recap: Naked and Afraid Nicaragua “Bad Blood”

Naked and Afraid Nicaragua Kellie Freeze

Naked and Afraid, I tried to take a weekend off from you to celebrate my anniversary, but I still ended up watching the last ten minutes of the episode in our hotel room. But could you blame me? — the commercials promised a scorpion!

Let’s jump in to this abbreviated, a few days late, recap.

The episode hasn’t even started and I’m already humming the song by Taylor Swift. And — oh, look — right from the start, someone is worried that their partner is gonna go loco! Hooray for casting and psychological screening!

Naked and Afraid Nicaragua
Angel

Angel Rodriguez
Age: 37 years old
Occupation: Survivalist and stay-at-home dad
Current Residence: Santa Cruz, California
Relationship Status: Married
Survival Skills: Master Improviser
As a child, Angel underwent a semi-N&A experience when he and his family lived on the streets when they first moved to San Francisco from Puerto Rico. Angel first developed a love of nature as a boy scout, and put his passion into practice when he left home at age 16 to survive on his own. Angel has spent his life cultivating a vast survival knowledge — skills that he shares with his wife and treasured daughters. It seems like Angel’s survival skills are put to use every day, so I think his practical skills will serve him well on this adventure. Other Naked and Afraid participants treat primitive survival as “something to do on the weekends,” but this man appears to live his life in a state of survival.
Initial Primitive Survival Rating (PSR) 7.3 out of 10.0

Naked and Afraid Nicaragua
Nicole

Nicole Terry
Age: 27 years old
Occupation: Nursing Student
Current Residence: Hanover, Massachusetts
Relationship Status: In A Relationship
Survival Skills: Shelter Building, Cold Weather Survival, Water Purification, Gutting/Skinning, Wild Edibles
Nicole has fearlessly explored the outdoors since childhood and continued to hone her outdoors skills by participating in outward bound programs, and involvement in Norwich University’s Corps of Cadets and Army ROTC program. Nicole is also a 4th degree black belt, a scuba diver and extreme athlete. (As a parent of two kids in taekwondo, I appreciate anyone who commits themselves to a life-long study of martial arts, and can attest to the mental focus that such pursuits require.)

Initial Primitive Survival Rating (PSR) 5.9 out of 10.0

Day 1
Nicaragua is in the midst of a drought and the landscape is dry and crunchy.
And the survivalists will be fighting for water with:
Red-tailed boas
Pica caballo (horse-biter) tarantulas
Caiman
And did I mention that the jungle is hella-thorny?

After hiking for hours, they find the “lake” on their map, which is dried out and surrounded by dead fish.
It looks like their survival items are a fire starter, a teapot and a machete.

While Nicole struggles to make fire for a few hours, Angel builds a shelter, a fire circle and a few cups made out of leaves. And when he steps in to help his partner in the fire department, he summons fire as if sent from heaven. Angel is a stud. Now that they have fire, they can boil their putrid, green water and get earned drinks.

The water revives Angel, but Nicole, who claims to hate “Lazy people,” decides to rest.

Day 2
Nicole is obsessed with raising the shelter off of the ground to get away from the relentless ants.
Angel spends his day constructing a sleeping mat, and getting water. Nicole spends her day lying on the ground.

Day 4
Angel spends the morning searching for food while Nicole — you guessed it — lays on the ground! When Angel sees a giant iguana, the poor creature sees him as an angel of mercy and leaps into his arms, begging to be eaten. The “Slithering Savior” brings the meal back to camp, so Nicole can finally do something kill and skin it. And it takes her hours to get it done. And to Angel’s credit, he doesn’t say any of the passive aggressive things that I would have.

Naked and Afraid NicaraguaThe only criticism that I have of Angel (at this point) is that he doesn’t know how to read his partner. While he’s making jokes and gently teasing Nicole, she takes everything he says literally and seems to get easily offended. With her background, she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who appreciates jokes. It’s more her problem than Angel’s, but I wish he wasn’t so blind to his partner’s lack of humor.

Day 6
Nicole lets us know that she has tummy troubles. “It’s all liquid down there” she informs us. Mmm, thanks. But thankfully, a bout of the runs can be cured by a good lay-down. And guess what she’s doing … lying down!! While reposed for the millionth time, Nicole tells her partner that she’s doing Naked and Afraid to prove her mother wrong. In her intro, she revealed that her mom told her that she’s going to fail. Angel tells her to live for herself, and to move out of her parents’ house — great advice — in my opinion. But Nicole rolls her crazy-eyes and keeps lying on the ground. Moments later after a stock footage shot of a scorpion, Nicole is bitten by a scorpion! She’s not lying down for a nano-second! Instead, she’s standing when she lambasts her partner for failing to procure flooring for the shelter. The nerve of Angel! Hunting for food, fetching water and collecting fire wood but not installing Pergo flooring in the shelter?!? Obvs I’m joking, Angel is still a god who walks among us.

While “Darling Nikki” runs around camp thinking the sky is falling and her scorpion bite is surely fatal, Mr. Awesome tries to get his partner to chill.

Day 7
Angel builds a fish trap that is to beautiful that it should be sold in a home goods store, but when he tosses it in the water, he realizes that their water supply is quickly dwindling. He and Nicole decide to move to potential new water source.

Day 8
Angel and Nicole begin the long and hot trek to find a new camp. Because Angel is who he is, and hasn’t worn shoes in a year, he can fly over the rough terrain. Tender footed Nicole walks like the mortal that she is and delivers the best lines of the episode.

Nicole pouts: “What more do he want me to do? I can’t sprout wings and keep pace with him. I’m an extreme athlete; I’ve been trained to pace myself. I can’t go out guns blazing or else I’m gonna get hurt.”

She continues: “I’m not a Maverick. Mavericks get people killed … Look what happened to Goose.” Yes people, Nicole just reverenced Top Gun. And I salute her for it.

The survivalists arrive at a wetland paradise. The bounty of water is so inviting that they dive right in. And while Angel gets to work building a fire, Nicole checks out the ground of their new digs. Yup, it’s comfy.

Day 9
Nicole hears the rumble of thunder and wants a shelter. Now. Angel doesn’t care if he has shelter or not, so he tells her to build it herself. Then he accuses her of growing up in the lap of luxury with a maid and Nicole goes ballistic. She doesn’t want to be known as a “poor little rich girl.” I get Nicole’s perspective; her family being comfortable wasn’t her fault any more than Angel growing up poor was his. Wealth doesn’t insulate someone from pain, sadness, rejection, abuse or drama. Angel may have gone a bit too far.

But perhaps more went on than was shown on TV, because Angel seeks counsel from show producers on what to do if Nicole becomes a physical threat. “Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes.” She knows taekwondo and you doesn’t want to be flying side kicked into a fire. The advice that Angel gets from the crew is to pick up a camera so he has documentation of any assault. Hey, camera crew, do your own jobs and get your own awesome footage of an assault! Angel, take my advice; if Nicole goes crazy, pick up a stick, or better pick yourself up and levitate the heck away from her!

via GIPHY

When Nicole skulks out of some trees, she looks a movie bad guy. (and also totally cool, but also very terrifying.) Angel doesn’t want to be hacked while he sleeps, so he apologizes to Nicole for his comments. And hopefully her forgiveness is genuine.

Day 10
Angel builds the world’s coolest figure-4 trap. It’s really a thing of beauty and ingenuity. Let’s gaze upon it for a moment…

Naked and Afraid Nicaragua
‘Tis a thing of beauty…

Day 12
Angel checks his trap and it’s been sprung, but nothing is inside. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t injured or p’d off a massive beast. Later, he and Nicole come down to the water to hunt for turtles. They work as a team (finally!) and Nicole catches a turtle. But their elation is short-lived because while giving Yertle a rinse-off, he slips out of her hands and escapes.

Back at camp, Nicole offers to tap out to make the experience easier for Angel. He tells her, “It’s doesn’t matter if you tap out or lay down. It’s the same.” Truer words have never been spoken. He tells her “Humble yourself and you will be exalted” and says that without him, she would have tapped out on the second day. Nicole storms off for a good cry, and when she realizes that her skill set wasn’t as strong as she wanted, she decides to get her head in the game. I call this her “Come to Jesus” moment.

I’d like to point out for a moment what while Nicole looks like she’s crawled through a doo-doo pile, Angel looks like he should be posing for a modeling shoot.

Naked and Afraid Nicaragua
How does a person get so dirty doing absolutely nothing?

Over the next few days, and to the strains of motivational music, we see a montage of Nicole turning her life around. If Morgan Freeman were the show’s narrator, he would deliver the line, “And Nicole was true to her word,” with enough emption to make God himself cry “Hallelujah!!” Look viewers! Nicole wears sandals! She fetches water! She drags a stick! She builds a shelter! She throws a rock! She fetches more water! It’s like the scene out of a Lifetime Original Movie (Or my favorite scene from the NSFW film, Team America: World Police — have a SFW gander below)

Day 19
And by Day 19, the student becomes the teacher when she finds and kills a boa. It seems like Nicole has been able to put her “Bout of crazy” behind her. She’s turned into a pretty decent member of the team. And they’ll need to work together during extraction.

Day 21
Angel can’t wait to get out of Nicaragua and home to the women he loves above all others. The hike is going to be long, and thorny and when Angel struggles, Nicole shows her strength.

Over 21 days, Nicole lost 20 pounds, and Angel lost 33 pounds.
Nicole’s PSR rose from 5.9 to 6.1 and Angel’s increased from 7.3 to 8.1 out of 10.0

Naked and Afraid XL
This week Discovery revealed three lovely ladies who have accepted the Naked and Afraid XL challenge:
Alyssa Ballestero from Yucatan
Tough gun model Tawny, who survived Florida alone for 15 days after her partner went wack-a-doo.
One of my faves, Phaedra Brothers will be back! And she’s got a new hairdo! She offered an inside look at her Naked and Afraid: Udamphur experience in this exclusive interview.

35 Comments

  1. This girl was lazy right from the start..and annoying…get the water ill rest…get my bed ready…get my food…ya ok!! Felt so bad fot Angel what a nice guy…I would bet my life on she dont even own a belt never mind 4 degree…show me your credentials guarantee they dont exist. Unles you got them before the brain damage
    ..this girl is too lazy for life…someone must have pointed out to her how she is looking on the show so she got her self together at the end …so she dont look like the moron that she was…she might have forgoten her meds..thst would explain the whole situation..sorry to be so cruel.But thats how I saw this show.

  2. Nicole ‘is’ an Athlete. She’s good at what she does. She made a great turn around at the latter part of the stay. I believe this really proves that sometimes ones skills can’t be applied in certain situations. A 4th degree Black Belt is wonderful, but there wasn’t any ‘BEARS’ to battle so it was little use (though Angel tested that 🙂 OK, Also, In the beginning, Nicole admitted dehydration. Let’s NOT just gloss over this. Dehydration, a Scorpion bite, and diarrhea ‘warrant’ rest. It could be a couple of days. That is NOT to branded ‘Lazy’. She’s a 4th degree black belt. She didn’t get that being lazy. Her ‘Sensei’ would have destroyed her LONG ago. Also, her (ah-hem…) ‘appearance’ proves she exercises, is ‘lean’, in great condition. Could she have survived alone? YES. LET ME EXPLAIN; She would have laid down and rested (Just like she did!) In martial arts, meditation is FANTASTIC in situations! She would have got up to hunt ‘when’ she was hungry (She NAILED a PYTHON!). AND SHE BUILT a shelter at the end. TAP OUT ON THE 2nd day??? (SHE WAS SICK!!). I think she needs to come back! Another go around on ‘N & A’ to doubt naysayers. That’s up to her. For now she should take her experience, improve her ‘PROS’, remedy and surmount her ‘CONS’. I’d be THRILLED if she asked to do it alone to really achieve undeniable vindication.

    • Lean and mean, huh? 4th degree Black Belt rewards such (ah-hem) visual achievements. Though viewing was possible, Grass Hopper, a caress could prove fatal unless conjugal admittance exists 🙂

  3. I can’t believe what I’m reading here. This is the first time I’ve seen a partner (Angel) unempathetic to a partner having a physically difficult time. Nicole first was dehydrated, then stung by a scorpion. He called her “lazy” and “privileged” and made her doubt her own skills. It was painful to watch. It was like watching an emotional domestic abuse household unfold before our very eyes. As women I would think you’d be more supportive! This man broke her down and enjoyed it….

    • histprof: total BS.

      Angel was a gentleman to say the least. For most of the episode Nicole wouldn’t stop complaining & appeared to me as dead weight. He was right to get on her. After he did, she & everyone knew she was embarrassed… and reacted wrong.

      “Cold-cock”?
      I would have send her home looking like a freak’n raccoon.
      Damn good thing she came to her senses. She should be forever grateful to Angel.

      Yeah I watch the show…BFD.

      • She was down because she was dehydrated.That’s not lazy! He was controlling and made the decisions. Then belittled her if she disagreed. Typical abusive behaviour. Surprised your supportive. He was not a team player.

  4. Finally got a chance to see this episode and wow! What a brat that Nichole was. Glad that humble pie Angel dished out woke her silly ass up.

  5. KenO, J C Atwell and Rachel, all pathetic losers who refuse to elevate their minds and try to fill their brains with something decent.

    Folks why are you attracted to such garbage? This says a lot about you all individually. I bet you are all fat, overweight losers with no lives.

    C’mon people, get off the couch, make believe you have a reason to live and get on with your lives.

    LEAVE THIS GARBAGE BEHIND. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!

    • I totally agree with Bif. Why are people watching this garbage? Our degenerate media is slowly poisioning our public morals by showing nudity on main stream television.

      Mark my words, the next step by our degenerate media will be to show people having sex on TV, and they will call it, Naked and Afraid and Horny. And sadly all you losers would watch that also.

      • loosen up the ‘ol scull cap & relax rabbi.
        … you know what they say about opinions…

    • Perhaps you should get off the computer and let people watch what ever they want to watch. How is us watching a tv show affecting your life so much? Your responses say a lot about your life.

  6. Nichole your a total moron,and i am embarressed to know you are from Hanover mass,I am born and raised here…Great you finished the 21 days but on Angels coat tails,he was amazing and truly a survivalist…4th degree black belt WHERE,cracker jack box LOL

  7. Yo JC Atwell, why don’t you get a life you pathetic creep? Is this how you spend your spend your life, watching garbage like this?

    Dude, make believe you have a life, get off the couch, take a few steps ( you can make it) and get a life. Seriously……

      • J.C. I’ve figured it out. “Metal Flowers” is so frustrated and aggravated that we call them out on their stupidity that they’ve gone out and hired themselves a moron, who can’t come up with any more imaginative nom de guerre’s than Bif, bob and Bit to attack us with, er, nothing. Not even enough imagination to mount a decent attack. Not only are they incompetent at screening applicants and scouting locations but they can’t hire a respectable Troll.

        • KenO. You are rating his intellect too high when you call him “moron.” “Imbecile or “idiot” is more appropriate. I see he is impersonating a Rabbi for his idiotic babblings.

        • KenO. The various names the troll uses are his imaginary friends because he has no real friends which further identifies the troll’s unstable and inept mental state.
          The troll harasses followers of Kellie’s work and other programs as well.

  8. I like the addition of Tawny, Alyssa and Phaedra to the XL2 cast.
    Angel would be a great addition to Darrin. I suppose we will see three men next week.

    • Those are three sterling additions, no melt downs with those three. But it remains to be seen what kind of parameters they will be strapped with by the ever vigilant Metal FLowers people. With them at the helm who knows what kind of unforseen problems they can create.

    • JC-you called it! I am so happy to see Angel included in the next installment of XL.

      • I am also happy to see Angel coming to XL, my 3rd Santa Cruz neighbor to be on N&A. Last year, Dani Julian was also from Santa Cruz, some other guy who said he was a wilderness trainer, who was a loser, and now Angel. I think Santa Cruz is the only city that has had 3 people on the show. AND, we’re all not “tree-hugging hippies” as Dani was called by her partner. We are very much into the environment as was Dani when she didn’t tell the eel-killing “hunter”, Jeff, about seeing river otters.

  9. Keno my brother…you seriously need to get a life, improve your mind and soul and stop watching garbage like this. Try to help yourself and watch more enlightening entertainment. This is pure garbage dude…your better then this..really.

    • bob, you seriously need to join your brother Bif below in roaming the aisles of Target. By the way, what do you consider “more enlightening entertainment”? If that’s what you want you need to limit your viewing to strictly documentaries because everything else, literally everything else is just television. Um, just a question, why are you here exactly? Not enough to do at your church?

  10. Only total losers would watch this garbage. Yes, that’s right, complete losers hoping to catch a glimpse of some naked body so they can get their rocks off. Only degenerate losers would watch this garbage. You should all be ashamed of yourselves you losers. Try to imagine you have a life.

    • You must be a Christian they’re the masters of criticism. Say, why don’t you mosey over to your nearest Target store and wander the aisle’s screaming about how their rule on restrooms is an abomination unto the lord?

    • You must have watched some of it. By the way, if one wants to catch a glimpse of some naked body all you have to do is go to the beach as it’s much more evident there than on N&A. Actually N&A might as well allow their participants to wear clothes.

  11. Kellie,
    I was concerned the your last truths about the casting process caused you to be banished from N&A reviews. Good honest and insightful recap. Angel proved to be much more than he said he was. Angel was amazing and has a very strong character and survives with his mind as well as skills!
    Watching Nicole; I thought: “Oh no another Alana Barf (“who just thrived out there” says the fool K. Russell of the casting outfit) surviving on the back of her partner.” After the damage was done and before becoming completely loco; Nicole realized she was making a fool of herself and made some effort to redeem herself. Most of this, you have said and it is just validation for you.

    • Exactly, was afraid of the same thing re Kellie. Nicole, poor lass, no doubt her mother has injured this poor girl for life. She needs to run, not walk, away from her mother. She’s being suffocated. I was afraid she was going to whack out on us but, because of Angels inner beauty and gentle guidance, she came right out and changed our opinion of her. Good job, Angel, and great turnaround Nicole.

  12. OK, first it was obvious that Nicole didn’t like lazy people and I thought “Wow, finally a chick that’s not going to lay around”. But then she. . . . . wait for it. . . . laid around, whined and complained while Angel did, well, everything. Then she appeared to be batshitcrazy as well and I thought “Here we go again.” Then, after dragging us all through the typical bullshit she wakes up to herself and decides to be a team mate….astonishing. But rather than take up too much space here on Nicole I’ll just post a link to someone else’s unnecessarily long rant about her here: reddit.com/r/nakedandafraid/comments/kyxrk/unnecessarily_long_rant_about_how_and_why_i/ (I hope you can get there, it’s a great rant). Meanwhile Kellie was on vacation it seems and I thought she was perhaps held back since being so honest in her last recap so I moseyed over to Bryan Berenz’ recap of the miserable, unlucky, misguided family of morons the Alsakan Bush Bozo’s the Bungling Brown’s of Brown Town where I learned that Kellie was indeed on vacation and bogged down with all the other shows she has to do. I’ve long since bounced the ABP out of my recording que but after reading Bryan’s recaps (all of which are hilarious) I’m putting them back in. Seems I can’t get enough of the idiot show, you know, Matt the oldest moron, Gabe the fittest moron, Noah the scientific renaissance moron and the rest of the bunglers as well as the two daughters who deserve much better than the brothers, a father that doesn’t seem capable of doing anything and a mother that whines about grandbabies. Anyway, this is what happens when Kellie leaves us alone too long….

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