Well, dear fans of TWD, there you have it … or not. Season 6 has left us hanging, and hang we will for the next seven months. I knew it was coming, though I tried to think of every reason why they would avoid a cliffhanger. I mean, seven months is a really long time to hide such a huge secret … isn’t it? Well, maybe not — the character who died doesn’t even know he or she is dead. Well played. Doesn’t mean I’m not pissed – okay, I’m not totally pissed. I can spend the next seven months hoping to see Daryl in the fall instead of swearing under my breath because I know I won’t.
The Twitosphere was on fire for a whole week, and the letdown led to a tidal wave of tweeting that continued long after the episode ended … or pretended to end. The reactions ranged from outrage to relief. I would have to say I’m somewhere in the middle. All week long, I stomped around swearing I’d quit the show if Daryl got Lucilled. Now I have to shut up and wait to find out if I’m indeed quitting the show, which means I won’t because I’ll want to see Negan go to hell in a handbasket no matter who he clobbered. Boy, Jeffery Dean Morgan did an excellent job of making me want to kick his grinny teeth down his throat during his ten minute gloat-fest.
The episode started right in on us. After a nice scene of Morgan making friends with the runaway horse from last week, we were thrown right into the turmoil that led up to, well, more turmoil, I guess.
First we get dosed with some Savior action – the jerk from last week is still alive enough to continue his pursuit of Carol, and some other jerks are chasing some poor chump through the woods. He’s from another community, and apparently the community isn’t holding up its end of the bargain with Negan. When they catch him, they proceed to kick his ass. It’s brutal.
In Alexandria, our group is assembling to take Maggie to Hilltop for medical attention. Pretty much everyone goes … even Eugene, who tells Rick, “I’ll be your anchorman; yes I damn will.” I sure hope he’s around next season. Everything that comes out of his mouth is an absolute gem.
Gabriel is left in charge, and I have to say, he looks pretty badass as he takes his post on the wall.
Morgan, as promised, finds Carol, but she’s not keen on being found. She is wounded and needs medical attention she doesn’t want. She’s just done with it all – caring, killing, life in general – her cheese has seriously slipped off her cracker. She is so broken, she’s actually welcoming death. This Carol is a Carol I never expected to see. I’m completely flabbergasted.
On the road, Rick and the gang come to a roadblock consisting of some Saviors. This is the first of several roadblocks. Rick, who still thinks his group is the sh-t, gets out to have a discussion – to make a deal – but we all know how the Saviors roll. The conversation basically goes like this:
Rick: “Let’s make a deal.”
Savior: “No deals. We don’t negotiate. Give us all your stuff.”
Rick: “No. You give us all your stuff.”
Rick: “You wanna make this day your last day on Earth?”
Savior: “You wanna make this day your last day on Earth?”
The exchange is obviously a pissing match going nowhere, so they turn the RV around and take another route which will also be blocked by Saviors. All the damn roads are blocked by Saviors (and walkers chained together wearing Daryl’s vest and Michonne’s dreads), and each group they encounter is larger than the one before. When they run into the biggest group – heavily armed and piled up on vehicles – they know they’re licked. Dammit!
Morgan, who refuses to give up on Carol, leaves the place their holed up to deal with a few straggling walkers outside. Carol takes the opportunity to run off again. Morgan goes after her, but doesn’t get to her before that stupid Savior she unwittingly left alive last week. He’s pissed off because he’s gonna die and shoots Carol in an arm and leg so she can suffer along with him. When he realizes she’s enjoying it, he gets even more pissed off. He stops for a minute to wrap his brain around the situation before deciding to just shoot her in the head.
He doesn’t get the chance because MORGAN SHOOTS HIM FIRST! That’s right! And not only does Morgan shoot the guy … he completely unloads the gun Rick gave him! Ugh! Finally!
I cheer a little bit. Carol does not share in my sentiment, but she’s gonna live whether she likes it or not. Members of another group (Kingdom?) show up to save the day. They look pretty ridiculous, but they clearly want to help. Morgan and Carol are whisked away to wherever. They’re having a much better day than Rick and the rest …
Who have no choice but to go on foot to Hilltop. Maggie’s not getting any better, and the roads are clogged with douchebags, but Eugene has a plan.
They can’t just leave the RV and head off. The Saviors will eventually figure it out and chase them down. It’s getting dark, so Eugene says he’ll drive it around as distraction – the Saviors won’t be able to tell the rest aren’t inside, which will hopefully buy them enough time to make it safely to Hilltop. He insists he do this. If there’s a stage three, I think this is it.
Before heading out, he gives Rick the recipe for bullets. It does not include beets.
He and Abraham also have probably the most epically touching good-bye I’ve ever seen, and I’m “serious as coronary thrombosis.” I cry more than a little.
Eugene drives off and the others haul Maggie off-road on a stretcher.
And then the friggen whistling starts – guess who? Could those a-hole Saviors be any more irritating? The answer is YES!
Our group is quickly manhandled back to Negan, and the moment we’ve all been waiting for begins. Daryl, who is looking pretty rough, Rosita, Glenn and Michonne are reunited with the others, Eugene included. When all are lined up on their knees, Negan begins his menacing monologue – I think a lot of what he says is also directed at us as we sit immobilized in our pee-pants for the rest of the episode.
Everything Negan says, he says with a smile – even if he’s mad about his minions who died at the hands of Rick and his group. I hate him. Yeah, yeah … I know it’s time for the villain who makes the Governor look like a milquetoast, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’ve been dreading it the entire season. I never thought I could possibly hate Jeffrey Dean Morgan so much! He’s so fantastic at portraying a prick, it’s disturbing beyond comprehension. I’m almost certain he takes candy from babies in real life.
I’m not going through all of the crap he talks, because he talks crap for what seems like an hour, and the best (worst) parts of his spiel are forever burned into our brains. He’s a scary son-of-a-bitch. In fact, he’s so damn scary, Rick looks more frightened, freaked, and frail than he’s ever looked. All of it is making me sick to my stomach. I can’t stand it. I’m all sweaty and chain smoky.
Then comes the “eeny meeny miney moe” game – and it’s the looong version that was most frequently used by the biggest, creepiest bullies from my childhood. I try desperately to keep track of who he’s pointing Lucille at, but I can’t.
I watched that stupid scene five times afterward – still not one iota of a clue. As soon as I finish this, I’ll most likely spend the rest of the night reading the hypotheses of others on the interwebs and getting all worked up. Again.
And whoever it is “taking it like a champ,” will remain unnamed until next damn season.
In the meantime, we can breathe, we can blink, and we can cry. Sigh. And we can also be permanently scarred by whistling …
That’s all I got.
So what do you got? Sound off in the comments!
I leave you with only one question this week and that is … who do you think we’ll be mourning in OCTOBER??? If you prefer not to address this question, please feel free to rant your fingers off about ANYTHING else. I’m dying to read your thoughts!
Tweet me @KimberlyThies1