Recap: Naked and Afraid Alabama “King of the Forest”
Roll Tide. Welcome back to another season of survival on one of my favorite TV shows, Naked and Afraid.
I have been watching this series for so long that I have no idea what season this is: some part of me thinks this is Season 5, while another part of me calls this Season 6. Whatever the number, I’m hoping for another great adventure (And lots of crazy people). The biggest change for me this season is that I will have to use less photos. Google has informed my that when you use blurred images in your blog posts, you are considered a pornographer. Yikes! I am not a porn-maker. And I wish I could show more images from the episodes because some of the locations that the show uses are amazing, but I will deal with what I have get.
Form the get-go, I know that this is going to be a season like no other. Some of the upcoming episodes look SO amazing; some people are really going to get F’d up by Mother Nature. This season, Naked and Afraid is traveling to 6 continents, but for this episode, we are staying in the good ‘ol USA.
Let’s meet this week’s brave survivalists:
Age: 26 years old
Occupation: Recreational Therapist and Nanny
Current Residence: Salt Lake City, UT
Relationship Status: In A Relationship
Survival Skills: Fire Building, Foraging, Shelter Building, Certified Wilderness First Responder
Starting PSR: 6.3 out of 10.0
Chalese grew up in an outdoorsy LDS (Mormon) family who spent time hiking, camping and fishing. Chalese recently fell in love with her BFF, and is using her Naked and Afraid experience to come out to the world (Surprise, Chalese’s Dad!). She and her girlfriend are avid skiers and snowboarders, marathon runners, hikers, bikers, fishers, climbers, backpackers, campers, world travelers, and all around outdoor enthusiasts.
As a recreational therapist, she uses fly-fishing, rafting, climbing and equine therapy to help residents of a behavioral facility.
Steven Lee Hall Jr.
Age: 32 years old
Occupation: Professional Artist
Current Residence: Orlando, FL
Relationship Status: In A Relationship
Survival Skills: Shelter Building, Fire by Friction, Hunting, Gathering, Tracking, Water Purification, Tool Production, Strong Will, Level Headedness
PSR: 8.0 out of 10.0
Steven is a professional artist and has spent his life learning to fly fish, track game and build fire and shelter. I think he’ll be a confident and creative survivalist. He also lives in a climate similar to Alabama, so I think he’ll be familiar with the foes he’ll be facing.
The Naked Meet-Up: Steven hopes that his partner is a bad-ass and good looking, and he gets his wish — Chalese is tough and a beauty. Steven is super cocky, and at the first glance Chalese can only focus on his, um, c*ck. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen one,” she laughs.
Get to know Alabama: Hot during the day, but at night, the temperatures can dip by as much as 50 degrees.
Southern Alabama is home to coyotes, bears and black widow spiders. IT’s also the 50 different species of snakes, including timber rattlesnakes.
Steven has one of the worst haircuts ever, but his enthusiasm is completely adorable. He’s like an excited child, and this is his fairytale adventure.
They find a flat area and make a quick elevated platform to get them off of the forest floor for the night. Chalese uses her fire-starter to get a blaze going, and with some water from a pond in Steven’s cooking pot, they have water, shelter and fire. That night, something large and scary screamed outside of their camp.
They build an impressive teepee, but it does little to keep them warm at night. Their toasty solution is to cuddle in some very intimate positions in their quest for body heat.
They’re hungry. Steven and Chalese’s flighty confidence would drive some Naked and Afraid participants crazy, but they are enamored with each other. It seems like they’re two halves of the same person!
While they’re scouring the banks of their water source, Steven sees a snake and takes off in pursuit. And with a poke of his stick, dinner is caught. That night, their bellies are full, but their bodies are still cold. More sexy-looking cuddling. This time, Steven lays on top of Chalese. Sexy.
While they’re still running on snake-power, S&C go exploring, they find a yucca plant, and are excited for all of the plant’s uses. Chalese hopes to make soap, because they’re pretty rank; but they also have a great source of nutrition.
While Steven talks to the camera, we hear a fain yell of “Medic!” in the background. Chalese has nearly chopped off her fingertip and needs to get stitches.
For Chalese, the biggest shame of getting hurt is that she can’t use her injured finger to wash her hair. Her awesome teammate volunteers to wash her hair and even helps wash her stinky pits.
They’re hungry again, but they don’t find any food. That night, their camp is surrounded by a pack of howling coyotes.
No food, but plenty of coyotes.
It’s been 6 days since Steven and Chalese have eaten. They’re no longer as chatty as they once were. But suddenly, Steven spies a possum in a tree. He runs like a lunatic through the forest and bats it out of the tree with a stick. It almost looked like Steven was swinging at a piñata. But when they cook the meat, they decide that it tastes tainted and don’t eat more than a bite. I would have been shocked if possum meat tasted anything but disgusting.
They go on another food walkabout and Steven spies a bit of movement in a patch of sun. His eagle eyes have spied a timber rattler! But Steven’s not scared; he stabs it like it’s no problem.
And when he skins the deadly beast, he pops the snakes still-beating heart into his mouth.
Chalese: “That’s sick!”
Steven: “Yeah, you damn right — that’s sick, girl. You damn right. You know why? I’m the king of the forest, that’s why!”
That night, a storm rolls into camp and the night does from cold, to cold and wet.
The rain hasn’t let up in days, but despite the deluge, Steve and Chalese have managed to keep their fire going.
The rain stops, but their fire is out too. Everything in camp is saturated with wetness; so restarting the fire is going to be next to impossible. And before they do, the next wave of storms arrives. They hunker down for a night of fire-less sleep, so Chalese sleeps on top of Steven and cries that she can’t take any more of this torture.
After a miserable night, Steven and Chalese are desperate for fire. Chalese rubs pine sap on the wet tinder and it eventually lights. It’s a moment of respite and relief after days of rain.
Steven and Chalese don’t seem to have very hard extraction. They’re hiking thorough thorn-covered terrain, but it’s not the epic hike of other N&A teams. And there are no shark-infested waters anywhere in sight. But nevertheless, thorns suck. It’s funny — Steven and Chalese are very similar, but they handle adversity so differently — Chalese yells and screams and swears to vent her frustration, and Steven keeps it inside because, “It doesn’t change anything.”
Chalese and Steven seem like a pair who will be life-long friends:
Steven: “I’m gonna miss Chalese, She’s like my little right-hand lesbian wingman.”
Chalese: “Your penis will forever be engraved in my head.”
Steven: “…You’re welcome”
Over the course of three weeks, Steven lost 25 pounds and Chalese lost 24 pounds.
Steven was a total badass hunter and his PSR rose from 8.0 to 8.6 out of 10.
Chalese showed her resourcefulness when her team needed it most and her PSR rose from 6.3 to 6.7 out of 10.
What did you think of this episode? I feel like we watched two BFF’s on a camping trip. But I liked watching this fun duo. Some of the days looked terrible, but they were so likable that all-in-all, it was a fun episode.