Recap: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14: Josh Is Going to Hawaii!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14 Andrea Verschage
Rebecca deals with the aftermath of that kiss. Photo: Scott Everett White/The CW

Recap – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14: “Josh Is Going to Hawaii!” – The CW, original airdate Mon. 3/7/16
(For all Crazy Ex recaps, click here.)

In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14, we see the fallout from Rebecca and Josh’s kiss. Josh wrestles with telling Valencia the truth, and Paula wrestles Rebecca’s cell phone away (do.not.text.him!). Here’s a look at the episode.

💬 Best quotes from tonight:

Paula (to Rebecca): God knows why you have a shrink in the first place when you have me — I give such great advice. Now let’s drink this old expired apple juice.

Valencia (sure she’s about to get engaged): I’m gonna celebrate by smelling the donuts at the Chinese place.

📝 The recap:

When we left off last week, Josh and Rebecca had just kissed. It was magical. This week, we started off in a totally expected (but not disappointing way) — both are dealing with the aftermath in their own ways. Rebecca is flashing back to the kiss, smiling, lost in her magical dreamland. It was awesome, and she tells Paula as much: “It transported me to a different world — like where they shoot the fun parts of Game of Thrones.” Josh, on the other hand … well. Josh is sweating it, and goes to Fr. Brah’s for advice. He’s upset, nervous, and most of all very guilty for cheating on Valencia. Fr. Brah, who is stoned (he has a bad back) tells Josh he needs to ask for Valencia’s forgiveness (and makes his point with a story about killing a baby bunny as a kid, which turned his brother into a drug addict). When Josh points out that the one he wronged is Valencia, Fr. Brah acknowledges that, yeah, Josh is screwed.

Meanwhile, Rebecca and Paula are celebrating with expired non-alcoholic apple cider. Rebecca cancels an appoinment with her shrink (par for the course) and stresses that she hasn’t heard from Josh at all. Maybe she should just give him a quick call or send a flirty text … NO! Paula tells her it’s important that she not text or reach out in any way; Josh needs to come to her. (This is advice I ignored many times in the past — unwisely. Paula’s absolutely right.) Rebecca continues to wrestle with the force inside of her that says “email him,” but doesn’t have to wrestle long: Josh shows up! Aaand, even though he can’t stop thinking about that kiss, he says it was wrong. He has a girlfriend! She has a boyfriend! (Wait, she does? Oh yeah. Everyone’s forgotten about Trent.) Josh says that now he’ll have to tell Valencia — she’ll certainly break up with him, but at least he’ll get away right afterward and have some space, as he’s going to Hawaii to watch Hector’s surf competition. There’s obviously some sexual tension lingering between him and Rebecca as he leaves. The next day, Paula tells her that she needs to make a grand gesture (like a 2.5 star movie character) and get a floppy hat and a bikini — and book a ticket to Hawaii.

In the meantime, Josh is acting weird with Valencia, and she senses something is up (but not in a bad way – oy). Darryl calls a staff meeting, where he announces to the staff in a very Huey Lewis video-esque manner that he’s bisexual. (Oh, and there’s a new administrative assistant named Maya who looks about 12. I kind of hope she shows up again.) Nobody’s weirded out that Darryl’s bi; they’re weirded out that he had a staff meeting to tell him as much. (Well, aside from Maya, who is so happy to be in an office that’s so accepting — until Darryl shuts her down.) While Darryl’s busy notifying his staff that he swings both ways in the most hilarious way possible, Rebecca’s holed up in her office, trying to book a ticket to Hawaii. But her card is declined, and so are all of her other cards, and she hasn’t checked her bank account balance in 5 years. (At first, I suspect Trent hacked her credit card accounts, but nope — she’s just absolutely terrible with money.) While Rebecca’s trying to sort out her money woes, the mayor shows up to tell her that, due to her work on the water case, he wants to give Rebecca a key to the city (unfortunately for her, there’s no accompanying cash prize.)

Meanwhile, Greg is a bit down about the fact that he made his grand gesture (like a 2.5 star romcom) to Rebecca, but things in life don’t always work out the way they do in the movies. No matter, Heather will be cool about everything. She broke up with him, after all. And she’s cool. She’s mature. But hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (trust me, I’ve been scorned), so she’s bitter, bitchy, and pissed, because she feels hurt. Darryl gets some hurt feelings, too, in this episode. He and White Josh go out for dinner, and he’s moving pretty quickly into the relationship phase of things, which is not where Whi-jo wants to be. For example, Darryl wants him to meet his coworkers. “You know that’s not a stage in anyone’s relationship,” says Josh. (It’s not? I made a whole big thing out of getting my boyfriend to meet my coworkers. Am I a total Darryl?) White Josh wants Darryl to relax — there needn’t be any strings attached — maybe he should go on a dating site, explore his options, etc.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14
Photo: Greg Gayne/The CW

Rebecca, who has just sold her couch to a dude for $35 ($10, plus an extra $25 if she lies on it naked — he doesn’t need to be there, just needs to know it has happened), receives a package from her mom, who’s so proud of her after seeing articles about her work on the water case. Rebecca expects it to be food, but it’s the coveted Garfinkle ring that she was hoping to get when her mom visited for Hanukkah. That ring has been in the family for generations, and is one-of-a-kind, so it’s only natural to … pawn it? Rebecca pauwns it, promising the guy at the pawn shop she’ll be back for it in a few weeks. (No she won’t, he promises.) She’ll use that money for some new clothes (floppy hat!) and a trip to Hawaii. And she’ll get some celebratory donuts from the Chinese place — but as she heads over to get them, she hears Valencia on the phone with her own mom. She’s pretty sure Josh is going to propose to her. Oh no! What has Rebecca done? Paula points out that Valencia isn’t right for Josh — she’s mean to him, and treats him terribly and remember he kissed Rebecca. Still unable to cope with being the catalyst for a breakup, Rebecca tries to text Josh to keep him from telling Valencia about the kiss, but Paula wrestles her phone away from her. In the fracas, Rebecca gets Paula’s keys (her own are worthless, as her car’s been repoed) and heads to Josh’s place.

She’s too late. Josh has told Valencia, and she’s upset. She feels so stupid, and he promises her it won’t happen again, and she believes him. He assumes she wants him to move out, but somehow, she doesn’t. Does he love Rebecca, Valencia asks. “No. God no!” Josh replies, crushing Rebecca, who’s standing outside listening. Valencia forgives him, and he’s so thankful that he decides he doesn’t even want to go to Hawaii now — he’d rather stay home with his girlfriend. Rebecca goes home, realizing she’s the villain in her own story (the witch in her own tale). She makes it to the key ceremony, looking insanely bummed out.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14
Photo: Scott Everett White/The CW

Meanwhile, Heather is bummed out too, at the bar. When Greg asks what he did, she blurts out, “You broke my heart, you dumb idiot jerkface.” But she broke up with him! Ah, that was a test. He was supposed to pick her, not Rebecca.

As photographers take pictures of Rebecca at the ceremony and everyone lauds her, she realizes she’s broke, a fraud, a villain, and nobody loves her. Things get a little hazy, and she runs off.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 14
Photo: Greg Gayne/The CW

 

Things work themselves out, sort of. Aside from the indication that maybe, just maybe Greg and Heather will try again, White Josh and Darryl make amends and decide to get a boba together and start over — slowly — when Darryl confesses he’s tried the online dating thing but doesn’t like anyone as much as White Josh. Valencia and Josh are back to their old selves, and there’s a hint that maybe Josh realizes he doesn’t know Valencia as well as she thinks he does (so they can’t be right for each other — they can’t!). And Rebecca heads to Hawaii alone. Well, not really alone. Who gets on the plane next to her but her shrink? With no empty seats on the plane for either of them to move to, they’re stuck together for 5 hours. What else is there to do but finally start therapy?

🎼 The songs:

Getting Bi This is Darryl’s 1980s-esque music video where he comes out to his employees. “Now some may say, ‘Oh you’re just gay … Why don’t you just go gay all the way?’ But that’s not it, ’cause bi’s legit … Whether you’re a he or she, we might be a perfect fit.”

I’m the Villain – This is where Rebecca realizes she is not, in fact, the progtagonist. She’s the one ruining things. “I’m the villain in my own story, I’m the witch in my own tale,” she sings, adding, “I told myself that I was Jasmine, but I realize now I’m Jaafar.”

 

All photos © The CW Network, LLC.

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About Andrea Verschage 65 Articles
Maker of bad puns and good cookies. Enjoys proper punctuation; is a huge fan of the semicolon. Firmly believes every life situation can be tied back to an episode of Seinfeld. SERENITY NOW!