Recap: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 11: That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 11 Channel Guide Staff
It's a textmergency! A textcastrophe! Photo: Scott Everett White/The CW

Recap – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 11: “That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!” – The CW, original airdate Mon. 2/8/16
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What never fails to surprise me about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is how crazy and off-the-wall Rebecca can be, yet through the writing and acting, we still root for her. In real life, if this woman were my friend, what happened tonight would have me seriously questioning our relationship, but (and perhaps it’s the suspended disbelief aspect of watching a musical sitcom that does this) I’m still on Team Rebecca here. In this episode, she accidentally texts the wrong person (which I think many of us have done — mine was email in college, which turned my roommate and all of my neighbors against me) and goes to great lengths to remedy the situation without a shred of honesty (breaking into one apartment and faking a break-in in another), all while alienating Greg even more. And yet, I still love this show and can’t wait to see if she and Josh ever get together.

💬 Best quote from tonight (IMHO):

Rebecca, talking to Greg, who’s borrowing a hard drive for Heather – Oh, and tell Heather not to open the folder that says ‘taxes.’ If she’s looking for porn, there’s a folder that says ‘porn.’ They’re the good kind, with plots. That’s why the hard drive’s so big.

📝 The recap:

Greg, who’s still together with Heather, shows up at Rebecca’s to borrow a hard drive for Heather, and, during an awkward conversation, confesses that he’s been avoiding Rebecca lately. It’s painfully obvious why: he’s still into her. Meanwhile, are Paula and her husband Scott still into each other? Their marriage has fizzled, so they visit Father Brah (#hashtagblessed) to patch things up. Paula’s reluctant to rock the boat, but Scott really wants to make this work, so he agrees to do whatever Father Brah says, which turns out to be something that sounds really easy: the couple needs to go home and have a nice dinner, alone, and look into each other’s eyes.

Meanwhile, Rebecca’s at the boba stand, prepping for a big case, when Josh walks up and surprises her. (He’s on his way to a tae kwon do class; during their conversation he mentions that he left his phone at home.) Once back at the office, Rebecca gets so bored during the deliberation that she decides to text Paula — but Paula never gets the text. In horror, Rebecca realizes that she sent Josh the text meant for Paula:

Just saw Josh, he looked so 🔥 that I almost 😱. I ❤️ him so much and I think he ❤️ me now too. God, I can’t wait until we’re finally together and I can stop lying and tell him I love him and moved here for him.

Everything goes slow-mo when she and Paula realize what’s happened, and the judge and the others on the case commiserate with her to figure out how to fix the situation. (Tell him she got hacked? It’s opposite day?) She remembers he left his phone at home, gets a police escort (courtesy of the judge) and heads to Josh’s place. She manages to get into the building and find his key, then finds the hide-a-key and gets into his apartment, then figures out the passcode to his phone and deletes the offending text — and he comes home.

Rebecca, ever-clever, stalls for a bit and spins a yarn for Josh that someone broke into her place by throwing a rock through her window, and she was scared (yada yada yada) so she ended up at his place. Of course, Josh tells her she can’t go home alone, and she’s thrilled he’s being so protective, until she realizes she lied about the window being broken. She gets a hold of Paula, whose dinner with Scott has stalled. Scott assumes Paula’s cheating on him (since she’s being so secretive) so she lets him into her world — a bit — and asks him to come with her as long as she doesn’t ask questions. Paula asks Scott to find a perfect rock — and he does (but it comes from inside the house), and throws it through the window.

When Rebecca and Josh get to her place, she’s rattled, and offers Josh some wine, and calls to get fondue delivered. (They deliver fondue? Really? That’s a thing?) The doorbell rings — Josh called the cops — and she uses her fantastic lawyer skills to explain away why she didn’t call the cops right off the bat (could only prove vandalism, not burglary attempt). Satisfied, the policeman leaves.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 11
Josh isn’t as dumb as that rock he’s holding — he figures out something is up.
Photo: Scott Everett White/The CW

Josh picks up the rock — the perfectly shaped rock with writing on one side of it. Dumb as Josh can be, he’s not dumb as a rock; he realizes the rock is Rebecca’s and, though he can’t figure out exactly what happened, he realizes something’s up. He leaves, very upset (Rebecca almost confesses her love as he walks out), and Rebecca realizes all of her dreams may have just been shattered — and it’s all her fault.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episode 11
Rebecca’s dreams are as shattered as her patio door.
Photo: Scott Everett White/The CW

Greg shows up, sees the broken glass, and starts helping clean it up — but then he sees the fondue (marked “Josh”) and the wine, and he starts to put pieces together as well. He assumes she and Josh were having some crazy date, and he’s upset that he’s always cleaning up her messes — always getting pulled into her life. She just wants someone to be there with her and that’s the problem: she wants “someone,” not him. (Meanwhile, Paula is at home telling Scott about how Greg has always been really into Rebecca, but not vice versa. Scott thinks it’s a shame, because they’d be perfect together; Paula still insists Josh and Rebecca are perfect, star-crossed soulmates.)

The next day at the boba stand, Rebecca is so upset and horrified about her disaster, remarking about how she ruined everything. Paula assures her she didn’t ruin everything; it’ll be okay. After all, Rebecca’s disaster put her marriage with Scott back together. (After the rock incident — “Who knew a little vandalism would be like the best foreplay we ever had” — the two bonded over a discussion of Rebecca’s love life, and Paula realized that Scott did, in fact, listen to her.)

🎥 The Videos:

“Textmergency” is a hilarious ’80s-themed music video starring the judge, the other lawyer, and (I think), the plantiff and defendant. The ghost of Steve Jobs makes an appearance. One lyric: I accidentally texted my mother-in-law a picture of my erection … I once group-texted my whole staff about my yeast infection. ‘Nuff said.

“Where is the Rock” is, well, about the rock. (Not The Rock. Dwayne Johnson isn’t in here.)

“You Stupid Bitch” sounds like my inner monologue during some of the darker times in my life, and I think just about every woman can relate. Once Rebecca realizes her collossal mistake, and how she’s screwed everything up, she gets onstage in a sparkly dress and sings to herself like a diva. Bitch, you’re a stupid bitch (and lose some weight). It’s all about self-indulgent self-loathing, and it’s fantastic.