This week the Gallagher clan are fighting to keep their house. Will they prevail? Let’s see what happens in this week’s Shameless Season 6 Episode 4 recap; “Going Once, Going Twice.”
Fiona: Calling Cousin Patrick repeatedly to find out why they possibly are getting evicted from the house they rent from him, Fi gets no response. With Sean tagging along, she goes to visit him in the flesh to get some answers. Fiona learns that he took a loan against the house for $60,000 and never paid it back, so the bank is foreclosing on it. He could really care less what happens to them, so no help from him. He’s just going to pocket the money and call it a day. Sean tries to convince Fiona that, since it was a small loan Patrick took out, maybe she can get a loan and just take over the mortgage. He suggests that they go talk to a banker he knows, but they learn there is no way she can take over the loan since it’s up for auction in two days. Sean mentions that she should just take out a loan and try and buy it in auction. Laughing this off like, where would she get that kind of money, the banker mentions since she has a credit score of ZERO, the potential is good. He says if she were to open a credit card, take a cash advance and pay it back the next day she would be a good credit risk. Fiona baffled by the fact that she has to borrow money so she can get more money, is even more baffled when he says she could get a loan.
Fiona gathers the family later to discuss that they may just be able to get a loan to try and buy the house back in auction — she just needs some money to put down on the loan. Needing to drum up cash from everyone for a down payment, they all mention they have piddly amounts compared to the stack that Carl pulls out of his pocket. He says he’s got it covered and everyone just stares in shock at him.
Fiona, wondering how he could have that much money after just getting out of juvie, declines his money. Frank, on the other hand, is more than willing to take some, so Carl throws him a bill. Ian, wondering why she won’t take it, proclaims to her he doesn’t even know why she called a meeting since she makes all the decisions anyways. Fi ponders how she’s going to get the remaining money, and boyfriend Sean tells her he has some he can lend, her but she declines his offer too. It’s a Gallagher thing, she states, but she does have an idea of how to get some cash. She’s just not sure how she feels about it yet.
The next morning we find out this idea is pawning Gus’ grandma’s ring that she was going to return to him. But Fi is distracted by Ian storming into her room saying she needs to come downstairs because she is never going to believe what’s happening … … It’s CHUCKIE! He’s back from juvie!
Excitedly saying “Hi Aunt Fiona,” the counselor from the juvenile detention services tells her that Chuckie is getting released — and since his mother is incarcerated, Fi is the only relative listed that he can go live with. Fiona pleads that there has to be somewhere else he can go and the counselor tells her, sure, he can eventually get placed into foster care — but with all the minorities in the system, she’s not sure how long he will survive. Oh yeah, remember that swastika his mother tattooed on his forehead? That would be why. Poor Chuckie, still totally clueless over that. Fiona agrees that he can stay until they find a home for him, but she needs to fill in the lines on that thing on his head. Ahhh, much better! As Ian takes Chuckie to get some food, Carl tells Fiona that he’s gonna get a shiv in his neck. Fiona says no shivs, and no race wars — at least in the house.
Back to the loan thing. Fi finds she is approved for $100,000 and is still pondering pawning the ring. She feels kind of bad, but it is worth 7 g’s and she needs the money. After V persuades her to sell it, she takes it to the pawn shop. The guy will only give her one-nine and after trying to haggle, he won’t budge.She takes it. Still short, Sean tells her that he has the rest of the money she needs to get the loan. Now she’s just worried that if she doesn’t win the house in the auction, what’s going to happen to everyone? She jokes to Sean she will just move in with him. He seemed awkward about it at first, but he assures her that she read into it wrong. He was just thinking back to when his ex first moved in with him, there was stuff she didn’t know about him that caused problems down the road. Telling Fiona that his NA sponsor thinks he should be more upfront with her — especially since they are getting closer — Sean fesses up that he was in prison a long time ago. For murder. He was drunk and high, he got in a fight with another junkie who fell and hit his head and later died. Wondering if there was more, Sean jokes that heroin and killing a guy was all he had. Off they go to try and win the auction….
The auction is pretty packed, but with the whole family there (minus Frank and Debs for whatever reason) they are feeling confident that they can win the house. They have a $100,000 cap, which should be easy since the house is a dump, right? They blurt out the deplorable conditions the house is in to persuade potential buyers not to bid on it. Bidding starts at $50,00, and bids seem to be happening fast. Even with strong-arm Nick putting people’s arms down, we are now up to $90,000 — so Fiona gives it her one last shot at $100,000. Nope. Up to $120,000. Everyone is riding to Fiona to still keep bidding, even though she knows she doesn’t have those kind of funds. They lose the house to an excited yuppie-looking couple for $130,000. Oh so sad. Seeing the look of heartbreak in every Gallagher — they have been through so much to keep that house over the years, and to lose it just like that — I’m not going to lie, I even teared up. There has got to be some way for them to get it back, right?!?!
Carl: Still trying to win the affections of his angel, Dom, Carl is now trying to woo her with expensive gifts. Like, you know, a cute little pink mink shawl, because what teenage girl wouldn’t love that! Well not Dominique. She asks if he stole it, and he says he has the receipt. Still declining, she’s says she has to go because she is getting a ride from a friend. Carl, the sweetie that he is, offers to walk her home. Again — shot down. Instead he takes his lunkhead pal Nick shopping for bikes. Hold on to your seat because he finally talks! While Nick is drooling over a bike, Carl is daydreaming about getting a car and loading up his posse while he is watching the pimp across the street pick up his hoochie mama. A boy can dream…
Back in reality, Nick got his bike and stumbles across Chuckie helping him with it. Shooing him along, he tells Nick to stay away from him since he’s a white supremacist Nazi. Nick apparently has some brains to him after all, because he can see Chuckie doesn’t know anything. Carl, breaking the bad news to Nick that he can’t get a license, suggests that Nick can if he takes the test. He can then drive the wheels and they can impress shorty (meaning Dom, I guess). Nick tells him he doesn’t want to — he just wants to ride his bike. Carl questions what his obsession with this bike thing is anyways, and Nick tells his heartbreaking story of his youth and what got him locked up. All he ever wanted was a bike like that. It took him a year to save up for it and he had it for one day until his dad traded it for a rock. That’s why he killed him — well he was abused by his dad, too, so he certainly had some pent-up rage. Carl looks a little sad about this story. Maybe he really does care for him. Speaking of bikes, Carl tries to woo Dom with one. Again asking if he has a receipt, she accepts his gift. They ride off, but she tells him not to get to close. Almost a score!
Debs: With Frank in tow, Debs goes to her first ultrasound. Deb’s plan is to get a part time job so she can support herself and her new bundle of joy after it arrives. Frank rambles on to her that there is no way she can pull in the kind of dough she needs for diapers, onesies and little jars of pureed veggies. And heaven forbid the kid gets sick! She needs to find herself an old lonely guy with money, since boys her age don’t have any. Confusing the butt for the head in the ultra sound, Debs is still in awe of her little baby growing inside of her.
Frank, in an effort to find an older man to take care of her, brings home an old man with an oxygen tank and artificial voice box that he met while doing his round in the oncology unit at the hospital. Debs, wondering what this old fart could possibly be doing in her house, puts together that it’s someone Frank is trying to set her up with. He tries to talk Debs into it, since the guy has a rent controlled apartment and will only be around a year tops, but she proclaims she doesn’t need a man to take care of her and her baby and if she does get one, it won’t be a dying robot. Frank, lighting a smoke, tells the guy it’s a no go. Good thing he wasn’t sitting there with an oxygen tank or anything. Sheesh.
Still trying to find Debs a guy, Frank is in the oncology ward again. He meets some guy who he confuses for a cancer patient, but it’s really the guy’s wife that has cancer. He sees they have three kids and he convinces the guy that he may just need a nanny to help with the kids. Now to sell Debs on it. She is busy making flyers to become a dog walker and he so eloquently points out that it’s going to be winter soon and she doesn’t want to be 8 months pregnant and having a bunch of mutts drag her across the ice. Good point, Frank. Debs, realizing that may not be such a good idea after all, decides to hear him out on this nanny thing and agrees to go meet with the couple. Arriving at their house, the sick wife opens the door, since the hubby is not home yet. Once she excuses herself to go lie down, Frank starts scoping the place out while they wait for the husband to come home. Debs is now upset that Frank is trying to set her up with a dying woman’s husband, but Frank keeps insisting wait till you meet him. Finally the dad walks in and Debs’ jaw just kind of drops. Guess she’s won over.
Ian: After baking cookies for the firehouse/fireman that saved his life, Ian shows up to find it was a whole shift of gay firemen that saved him — the Hose Blowers or Flamers, as they are referred to. Wow, what a dream come true for him! Coming back the next day, he visits with the guys and thanks the one that saved his life. He is greeted with wonderful hospitality and is drooling a little over all the hot guys. It sort of seems that this was a big awakening for a life path for him, especially as he watches them all hustle away to a fire call.
Lip: Lip heads out of town with hottie professor Helena for a conference on Women’s Feminism in European Times — or something like that. She is giving a presentation on a subject she has been working on for 3 years. After a romp in their fancy hotel room, Lip decides to give that heated hotel seat with a bidet a whirl. Welcome to the lifestyles of the rich and famous, Lip!
Now watching Helena give her lecture at the conference, there is a guy in the crowd who is questioning all her research. Not only questioning, but telling her she is wrong because there is new proof to her claims that she did not know about. A little frazzled for being so embarrassed in front of her colleagues, she drowns her sorrows in booze. Lip, taking good care of his mistress as she’s worshiping the porcelain God, warns her not to hit the bidet button. Ew, that would be gross! Being so inebriated, she opens up to him about how now her book is toast and that she is just a cliché for being Mrs. Robinson. She adds that even though Lip was just a fling, this feels different. Or maybe not. The next morning, Lip wakes to find her already checked out of the room and waiting for him downstairs. Realizing she hit a new low in her life and vaguely remembering their conversation, she says to just forget what they talked about and put the weekend behind them.
Kev, V and The Alibi: The Alibi is dead. Like, ZERO patrons. The regulars aren’t coming anymore because of the hipsters and the hipsters aren’t coming because well, it just isn’t hip anymore. V and Svetlana are plating up some fancy octopus tapas just in case the customers ever come back. and Kev is super confused to what the heck a tapas even is.
Back at home, Yanis is outside screaming for Kev. Finally going out to talk to him, Yanis tries to convince him to help burn down the house of the yuppie lawyer scum he now thinks is the one that paralyzed him. A little too excited about seeing him and his family suffer, Kev refuses to help him and says he should just go home. Wondering if Yanis is really serious, he talks over his concerns with V back at The Alibi. While they chat, Svetlana says she’s of to her other job. When he asks her where, she just says it’s a speakeasy. Kev and V say she is two-timing them with another bar, but she says no, it’s different, and that they should just come check it out and meet the owner Georgia. Seems Georgia is quite successful, and maybe they can pick up some tips from her on getting their customers back from. Meanwhile at least one strols in – Kermit – and to get him to stay, Svetlana flashes her boobs since he thought the bartenders were going to be topless.
V later takes Svetlana’s offer to meet Georgia and goes to check out the “Public Restroom” with her. She is confused by where they are going, since they are standing in what looks to be a men’s restroom. Svetlana explains it’s a new creative concept — you need to flush the urinal get in. Voila, a door opens! Walking into a crowded room, V spots some of their hipsters. The menu boasts two expensive drinks — a No, 1 or a No. 2. I think you can put together what these drinks may look like. V is intrigued with the place and meets the owner, Georgia, asking how she gets so much business. Like, does she advertise? Georgia says no way, that’s the kiss of death. She tries to make things as hard to find and secret as possible. V, playing coy, asks her something about The Alibi, since Georgia doesn’t know she’s the owner. Georgia says that place could have been a gold mine but since they hung the banner for being “the shittiest bar on the Southside,” there is no coming back from that. Guess the Alibi needs a new game plan to win those customers back.
While V is out scoping out the competition, Kev finds Yanis riding down the street with a box of Molotov cocktails in his lap on his way to torch the lawyer’s house. Yelling that they turned him into a cripple and a bunch of other horrible things, he strikes up his lighter and is about to launch one. Before he gets it out of his hands, Kev cracks and fesses up that it was him that cut the brake cable, but he meant it to be the throttle. He’s trying to keep the peace in the neighborhood.
Kev, truly apologizing and begging for Yanis’ forgiveness, feels instant relief until he notices Yanis lighting his cargo and starting to throw them Kev’s direction. Burning himself while lighting a second one, he drops it in the box and goes up in flames like a bunch of dry kindling. Yanis is now in a fiery blaze and spinning around in his chair and screaming. Kev panics and is screaming for help, but, alas, no one hears this and eventually there is no more screaming Yanis, just a barbecued Yanis. Alas, poor Yanis. No matter how terrible of a person he was, he certainly did not deserve to go out in a burning inferno.
Again, I have to say it — poor Yanis. And hopefully the Gallagher’s will find a way to land on their feet together. Or, I suppose, since Fiona DID get a loan, maybe it’s just time to get a fresh start in a home of her own, and who knows maybe she too will have a change of heart and have that baby after all…
Photo credit: Showtime