Last week Fiona found out the truth that Debs was keeping her pregnancy from her. Let’s recap how that went down with a recap of Shameless Season 6, Episode 2: #AbortionRules.
Fiona & Sean: Waking up all stressed out with the newly acquired truth that Debs is actually knocked up, Sean tries to get Fiona to relax by doing naughty things to her and forcing himself on her. No, not in a rape way, in that loving “you really need to relax” boyfriend way. So she gives in, and then it’s quick to rise (no pun intended) so that she can get Debs off to the clinic. Before Sean scurries out of the room he reminds her she has to do a drug test at work today; it’s for the new position, and she has to do it since she is a convicted felon and is handling money now. Going to wake up Debs, Fiona discovers she is not in her room, so she moves on to wake Ian. As she is scoping out his meds bottle to make sure he is taking them, Ian snaps at her that he is and that she can leave him alone. Now downstairs, Fiona yells at Frank to sleep in his room, though he claims he can’t because that was the last place he was with Bianca before they left the country. Fiona harshly tells him that she is sick of hearing about his dead girlfriend. Moving on to the kitchen, she politely says good morning to everyone; they just all ignore her. No love from the Gallaghers for Fiona today.
Maybe she will get some at work in her new assistant manager position? Nope, none there either. Fiona tries getting the employees to abide by the rules — you know, not putting gross things in customer’s food, trying to make sure things meet health code and scheduling employees — things that make for a good manager. The staff just give her crap, saying that she used to do the same things they are doing, and they poke fun at her for sleeping with the boss, saying that’s why she got the promotion. Now Fiona is stressed out by everyone’s attitude towards her and by Shawn not helping much because he keeps running off to meetings. When Ian stumbles in late, Fiona confronts him, wondering if he convinced Debs to get the abortion, and he just tells her no, because she can’t tell people what to do with their bodies — he knows this better than anyone. After a visit from V, Fiona finds Ian taking a break in the middle of the restaurant with a slice of unpaid-for pie. Ian, sick of the way Fiona is treating him, sticks up for himself by making good on her threat for him to leave: he quits, or, er, she fires him. She’s not really sure. Fed up with what just happened, Fiona storms into Sean’s office to have a mental breakdown, saying she can’t handle this job and the way the employees are treating her, the stress of Debs and, well, everything. Sean doesn’t help the situation, confessing to Fiona that the reason he is going to so many meetings is because he shot up. Completely freaked out by this, Fiona says she didn’t realize it was a thing. Sean says it’s always a thing; it’s the nature of being a drug addict. Now it dawns on Fiona that she is in love with a heroin addict who can’t seem to promise that he will stay clean. She must be pretty wrapped up in her own world, because how would she not notice this? Sean says she should understand, since she’s an addict, too. Reminding him she was never an addict, Fiona says she went to meetings because it was court-ordered. For those who forgot, it was a couple seasons ago when Liam got into a big pile of cocaine and almost died while Fiona and gang were partying at the house. Conflicted over staying with Sean or moving on, they are interrupted when the lady doing the drug test arrives. Of course Sean runs out the door in fear of also being tested.
After Fiona speaks with Lip and hears that he got nowhere with Debs, the nurse informs Fiona that she is all good and adds that she will make note of her pre-existing condition. Fi asks, “what condition is that?” The nurse says the pregnancy. Fiona says “what, my sister’s?” No, yours, dummy! Why would the nurse know about your sister? Congratulating Fiona and saying she hopes it’s good news, the nurse leaves; Fiona is in complete shock.
Later, while Fiona is in bed contemplating everything that’s going on, Sean shows up and is apologetic for being so late, saying he was at a meeting all night, and then rambles on about how he can’t promise he won’t use. Fiona shuts him up with the same trick he pulled on her earlier that morning. Maybe she’s made her mind up to stay with him? Because being pregnant with a recovering heroin addict who can’t promise to stay straight is exactly something that would happen in this show.
Debs: After debating with Fiona at breakfast over whether or not she needs to get an abortion, and clearly not wanting to do so, Debs decides to try and prove that she can handle being a teen mom by lugging around a bag of flour in a pink dress,using it as a pretend baby. Riding the train to school she tries to convince two guys to give up their seats for her and the “baby.” They eventually give in, deciding she must be “special” (not the exact words used, but I am trying to be PC). Fiona keeps sending Debs annoying texts on the stats of teen pregnancies which she keeps ignoring. Derek is also annoying her, since he is not returning any of her texts or calls. But gee, I thought they were so in looooove???? In class she asks her teacher if she can go to the bathroom to change her baby. The teacher, not being so kind about her situation, lectures Debs that even though she let herself get knocked up, it doesn’t mean she should have privileges over the other students who manage to keep it in their pants; she lets her go, though, eventually. Of course, the other kids are jealous, and one asks to take his imaginary friend to go “drop a deuce.” After school, Debs runs into some fellow teen mom classmates. Inquiring about how life is for them, they just whine about how their moms won’t watch the baby so they can go to the mall or any other things teenage girls want to do, and say how hard it is to go to school and have a baby. Looking a little discouraged after that conversation, Debs notices that Lip has arrived to pick her up. She catches on quickly that Fiona sent him so HE can maybe convince her to go get an abortion. No dice. Not happening. She tells him to leave and she will find her own way home. She tries to call Derek only to find that his phone is disconnected. Uh oh, guess they aren’t as in love as she thinks — not that his moving away wouldn’t have been the first clue, duh!
Debs now is on a mission to find out what is going on and ambushes Derek’s cousin at work to find out why no one is supporting her. His cousin confesses to her it’s not his parents, it’s Derek. It was his choice to leave because he felt trapped and does not want a baby — he wants to become a pilot. Stunned by this news, Debs also realizes she never took the time to really get to know Derek. Feeling guilty, she jumps back on the train to go home. Along the way a clearly handicapped woman asks her to give up a seat so she can sit, but Debs just says sorry, until she realizes they are at her stop. She quickly jumps off the train, forgetting her baby bag of flour. Guess that motherhood might not be such a good idea?
Back at home Debs is packing up her stuff when Fiona storms into her room, saying that they are going to the clinic now. Both of them. There’s a big screaming match, and Fiona says she is almost done raising the kids and she doesn’t want to be stuck raising Debs’ baby, too. Debs says no way she would even let Fiona near her baby since she doesn’t want it screwed up the way Fiona screwed them up. Then Debs says she is going to Florida to find Derek; Fiona asks how, it’s 8 billion miles long. The fight erupts onto the street and has turned into a physical brawl. Good thing Lip shows up to break the two apart. My guess is that with the way they were at each other no clinic may be needed? Maybe just a therapist to mend the clearly broken relationship?
Carl: Waking to a little morning chocolate love porn action, he jumps out of bed and wakes his new buddy Nick, saying that they have to get out and do rounds, whatever that means. So after strapping on his do-rag and telling Fiona that Nick needs to stick around because he has nowhere else to go, they are out the door. But not before Carl tries to throw Fiona a stack of hundies to pay for Debs’ abortion and Nick’s room and board. Fiona flips and asks him where it’s coming from and Carl tells her that he earned it, so she gives it back. Of course it’s from illegal activity! We soon find out that Carl and Nick are offering a “neighborhood protection policy” to the local business for a low weekly fee. After doing some rounds, Carl makes it to school, kindly asking the school janitor to sneak his bag through the metal detector. The janitor he asks what’s in it. Handing him some cash, Carl says he can either tell him or not tell him. He chooses not to be told and takes the bag and the cash. Of course the alarm goes off, but apparently the janitor has a bum leg, he blames it on that and gets the bag through. With Nick as his watchdog, Carl conducts business out of the bathroom, asking kids why they are there — if they want to buy a gun, he asks them for what purpose. Based on their answer he says yay or nay. Aw, isn’t that nice, he doesn’t want just anyone to have a gun. Because what if it ended up in the wrong hands? Walking out of the bathroom it seems Carl is building a bit of a reputation for himself — like the don’t mess with him, he used to be white.
Once in class Carl tells Nick to stop smiling because it’s not all coloring and glue like when he was in school last. Just then this hottie starts strolling Carl’s way, and he tries to get her name, but gets no response. So he just says he will now call her Angel, since she is, well, his angel. She is not looking to amused with this. Nor does his teacher appreciate that Carl has what looks to be a 35 year old guy stuck to his side. After a brief discussion about how Nick needs to leave and Carl refusing, Nick gets to stay. Oh, white Carl, you’re so smooth.
Kev, V & The Alibi: Excited that they finally get some time to get it on with one another while the subliminal “you are going to be Venus and Serena” tapes are keeping the babies asleep, their dream is quickly shattered by the sound of Yanis’ screaming down the road. Kev races outside to go tear him a new one. Turns out the lesbian neighbors called animal control on Yanis’ dogs, so they were taking them away. Kev tries to calm him down and quell his gay bashing. Upset about his dogs, Yanis learns that if he can get his yard cleaned up and the dogs licensed — along with a list of other things — within 7 days he can get his dogs back. Otherwise they will be put up for adoption or put down. Yanis is now cursing the women out in Greek while Kev tries to get him to do what he needs to do. The girls thank Kev and he tells them that the neighborhood was fine before they moved in.
On the flip side, with The Alibi taking off with all the new local hipsters clientele, Kev is not disappointed. They voted it the best sh—y bar and Svetlana the skankiest, meanest Russian bartender. Svetlana catches on that the hipsters will pay big bucks for just about anything — karaoke, barber cuts, fancy drinks, espresso, etc. — so they decide to milk it for all it’s worth. But the peeing match between Yanis and the new neighbors has to stop. Kev and V are once again woken up in the middle of the night by Yanis revving his motorcycle and waking the babies. Kev takes things into his own hands by cutting the throttle line. Problem solved, right? Not so much, the next morning Yanis wakes them up again by revving his bike. Confused as to how the bike can be running, they quickly figure it out when Yanis gets plowed by a car — Kevin cut the break line by accident. Oops!
Frank: Smoking a hookah with the hipsters at The Alibi and whining on and on about how much he misses Bianca until hipster dude suggests he just go back to the spot where he and Bianca met and burn any of her belongings he may posses so that he can be free. Be free little Frankie, be free! Frank says the guy is right, and leaves right away. He grabs all of Bianca’s stuff and heads to the hospital to the area that they met. He busts out a garbage can and some lighter fluid and just nonchalantly goes to set the stuff on fire. Things are great, except for the doctor screaming at him that he can’t light a fire in there and calling for security. Frank rambles on that it’s Bianca’s stuff and he needs to burn it. The doctor puts together that this is THE FRANK that Bianca spent her last days with. She convinces security to let him be, that she’s got it handled. Over lunch, she and Frank discuss how much they miss Bianca. Frank, feeling a bit of a connection, goes in for a kiss. Quickly denying that action, she asks Frank doesn’t he ever wonder why Bianca was with him? He says “all the time,” so she explains to him that the only reason was because of cancer. Stage 4 cancer. It dawns on Frank that maybe he can be a cancer counselor for terminal cancer patients. He proceeds up to oncology and starts talking to a woman just to find out how sick she is — nope, only stage 2. Not sick enough. He starts rifling through people’s charts with no luck until he hears a doctor tell another patient that they will contact hospice for her. BINGO! Franks snags her up right away, telling her about all the things he did for Bianca and that he is willing to do that and more for her. Call it a cancer concierge, if you will. He tries to re-create with her some of his best memories from being with Bianca, just to get Bianca out of his system. Like, you know, they time he smoked crack with her and they had sex on the train tracks memory? Well, that plan horribly backfired, since she ended up dying from the crack he gave her. Maybe this cancer concierge bit isn’t going to work out for him after all.
Lip: Back in the good graces of Helene’s bed, Lip is a little distracted by her husband singing in the shower and asks if things are cool between the two of them while she and Lip are doing their thing. Lip tells Helene about his discomfort with the situation and she says that maybe she should kill her husband. Also joking, Lip asks if she has an insurance policy on her hubby and she says yeah, a cool mill, but it has to look like an accident. At this point Lip isn’t really sure if she is joking or if she is serious. So he asks her if she is joking but she is very aloof and replies “am I?” Jetting off to class, he runs into her son in the kitchen and again apologizes for the mix up, when he thought that he (the son) was maybe sleeping with Helene. They exchange some words, then the son scurries off, leaving just Lip and Helene’s husband. He asks if Lip if he wants some coffee or breakfast, and feeling a little uncomfortable, Lip says that he also needs to get to class. The kind professor reminds Lip that the only reason he is sleeping with is wife is because he allows it. BURN!
Later, a drunk Professor Youens informs Lip that he got him a meeting with a friend’s company for an internship and HIGHLY encourages him to go take the internship. Lip states he really is not interested and adds that he can’t take an unpaid internship, but wonders if he can borrow the professor’s car. The only way that is happening is if Lip agrees to take the meeting. Oh, so railroaded into that one… but it is a much better option than murdering Helene’s husband; that is, if she was serious.
So there you have it. What can possibly transpire next week? Oh, and in case you haven’t heard. Showtime has picked up Shameless for a 7th season so for those of you who, like me, are hoping Shelia will come back, there will be plenty of time for that.