I was lucky enough to speak with Clinton Kelly and Devyn Simone from TLC’s Love at First Swipe, which premieres tonight (Fri. Oct. 2) at 9pm ET/PT. (For more info on the show, click here!) I asked them to give me some insight on what people do wrong when they’re putting themselves out there, online.
Clinton reminded me that online dating is basically self-marketing. “You have to market yourself in a way that makes you stand out from the crowd, or else you’re not going to get any bites.” Some of the mistakes he’s seen in women’s profiles:
- “They come off as too sexually provocative in their dating profile, and then they wonder why men are only interested in sex.” In other words, if you’re looking for more than just a hookup, don’t market yourself as a hookup.
- Some women can be a bit too kooky. “It’s one thing to show that you’ve got a silly side, but when all of your photos are totally goofball it just basically is telling potential daters that you’re just not taking yourself seriously.” Ladies, nobody wants a clown — unless you’re on a clown dating website (OMG, that was just a joke, but Google tells me it’s really a thing).
Check out this clip from tonight’s second episode of Love at First Swipe about taking things seriously:
3. On the other hand, some of us can be a bit too boring, where, as Clinton says, “it’s just, you look like everybody else and there’s nothing special about you.”
Setting yourself apart seems like a given, right? If it were a given, would so many women’s profiles say, “I can dress up in heels for a night on the town, but I also love to stay in for a Netflix night”? (Ladies, I’ve heard from the guys … why do so many of you say that? Seriously, if that’s in your current profile, strike it! Please. While you’re at it, cut “live, laugh, love,” and “partner in crime.”) Spice it up. Step out of your comfort zone and say something (true, of course) that will set you apart from the others!
You have to strike a balance between numbers 2 and 3. Self-marketing!
From Devyn’s perspective, here’s some profile advice:
- “Choose your photos wisely. Put some thought into them.” She recommends a great head shot as your main photo. After that, a social shot, an action shot, and “a full body shot because they know if you’re hiding from that.” (I hate to break it to you ladies, but I’ve gotten this confirmation from my guy friends, too: They’re onto our head-only-selfie-from-high-up-to-eliminate-double-chin trick. Sorry.) Clinton chimes in, “Make sure your photos are current.” Don’t represent your 2015 self with pictures from 2010!
- “Post with a purpose,” Devyn advises me. If you’re going to be funny, make sure it’s a joke that people will get. And your profile isn’t a tell-all. You want them to want to get to know you, so don’t cover it all before you’ve even met them. Leave something to talk about on that first date!
- “Lastly,” Devyn says, “even if you do those two things perfectly, you’re going to get some jerks.” She’s talking about the guys that are just out for a hookup. “Just don’t respond,” she says. She advises women to not feed into it, or get into a message war, or assume this is just how all guys are. (I’ve been guilty of all of this. Multiple times.) Clinton adds, “As soon as they get inappropriate, that’s when you just cut off all contact.”
Looking for a little more insight on how to put this advice into action? Tune in tonight to two half-hour episodes of Love at First Swipe, starting at 9pm ET/PT (8pm CT) on TLC.
Photo and clip courtesy of TLC and © 2015 Discovery Communications, Inc.