Dance Moms Season 5 episode 21 recap: Yer a regular livin’ doll

dance-moms-erin-doll Lori Acken

Welcome back, Dance Moms nation. I am pleased to report that my screener is complete with intact persons this go ’round, so no lobotomy humor, I’m afraid.

But we did get the LA version of the Welcome to Ohio sign (and a freaky caption), so that’s nice.

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A little bland, what with no cows and yard waste and what have you, but we’ll take what we can get.

We start out with light hearted moments with the girls taking their loss in stride and congratulating Mack on her victory over Maddie last week. After playfully tussling with her little sister, Mads warns her that it probably won’t happen again. No problem. Mack has a plan.

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Pa-DOW.

Here’s Abby. She’s happy to see the girls all prettied up in their traditional black leotards, pale tights and posied buns. However. They did not win. No more jazz for you. It bums Holly out. Me, too.

Pyramid time.

Kendall is bottom of the bottom.
JoJo is next. She’s capable of more.
Then Nia. Isolations were a hot mess.

Row two begins with Kalani. She was soft in the group dance.
Then Maddie. All her extracurricular crap is taking a toll on her technique.
Mack scores her spot at the top.

This week we’re going to Calabasas for Fierce Talent Competition. MDP will be there, too. Ack. Pfffft.

Before we dole out solos, JoJo has a question. Her grandma is coming into town and she’s been seriously ill with colon cancer, so JoJo is hoping she could have a solo to perform for her.

And what happened then? Well in Whoville, they say, the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

JoJo gets her dance. Bravo, Abby. Dahoo damus!

Kendall will do the dance they had to scratch when Abby never showed with the costume and the prop. Abby says it’s Kendall getting the second chance, but I beg to differ.

Group routine is called Voices In My Head.
The voices in Melissa’s head compel her to go all zombie in stilettos.

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Whooooa … creep-ay!

Mack will be the lead in the group dance. It waas supposed to be Maddie, but Mack is getting her chance to carry the dance.

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Watch yourself, twerp.

Abby wants to know if she has what it takes to carry the dance facially and emotionally. Mack looks concerned. Melissa tells her she can do it. Maddies tells her to say yes. She says yes. She does not look like she means it.

Chided by Abby, she says she just doesn’t want to let anyone down. Point to who you’re thinking you’ll let down, say Abby. No one over there, Mack says, pointing at the moms and earning a laugh. She’s worried about letting down her team. Well, and Abby.

Then Abby breaks it to JoJo that she will not be doing the group dance. Jessalynn objects. Grandma’s in town after all. Abby’s studio; she’ll do as she pleases. The kid can’t focus enough to do two routines.

Over in Murrieta, Erin Babb’s mind is blown that she was beaten by the same routine Abby does “year end and year out.” I think that’s the same thing, but let’s not get grammar fussy, shall we? I have no idea what I’m typing halfway through these things.

Also, Erin has a message dance of her own. Their group routine will be called Monster Under the Bed … AND GUESS WHO THE MONSTER IS! NENH! GET IT?! ABBY IS! ABBY IS THE MONSTER! UNDER THE BED!

But here’s the kicker: the dance is going to show that the monster under the bed is just a joke. Also, Erin makes her dancers call her sir. I’m sure Abby wishes she would have though that up first.

At ALDC — oops — ALDC LA rehearsal, Abby tells the ladies that the group dance is all about asking the voices in your head what you should be doing. (run!) Understand? (run!)

Abby asks Mack to improv to the music and let her face display what she is feeling. Mack dances beautifully, and Abby says so — for her. But her face never changed once. New flash, Abs. Neither does Maddie’s. It’s just that she’s frozen on “angst” while Mack opted for “whatever.”

Dr. Holly says a little encouragement — or say, instruction — would be nice. Um, yes. But we’re just biding our time till Maddie takes over the dance. You know it. I know it. Mack knows it. The voices in our heads know it.

While the group dance is practicing, Jess, JoJo and Jess’s teeny-tiny little mom Cathy go for lunch. Can I just say, three hundred props to the brave, beautiful Cathy? I went through cancer and chemo, too, and to see this radiant lady spending time with her equally lovely family thrills me to no end. Beats group dance practice any day of the week.

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JoJo breaks it to grandma that, while she does have a solo, she won’t be in the group dance. Then she finds the lemonade in the lemons: If she was in the group dance, she’d just be in the back corner anyway. And that’s not where our JoJo belongs. Straight up, sister! You’re right where you should be now.

Over at Murrieta, Erin is reminding Caylie that this is the first time she will compete a solo against the ALDC, and poor wee Caylie is responding by looking like she is about three seconds from running screaming from the room. Or passing out cold.

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Caylie is adorable and reminds a little of Kimmy from Dance Moms Miami (eh, Michelle?) … and I could not be more grateful that Maddie is not doing a solo this week.

Over the social media — damn that social media — the Pitt Crew learns that MDP had a 12-hour rehearsal the day before. But not to worry, says Jill. The MDP may have flash and little costumes, but the ALDC girls have that classic, old world … … what? Sauerbraten recipe? Polka rhythm? What?

Kendall says and she though Abby’s pep talks were bad.

JoJo’s solo is called Faith is All I Need. Problem is, JoJo is not a lyrical dancer. Abby hopes the idea of doing the dance for her grandma inspires her to dig deep and find the long lines and grace.

Holly says she thinks it’s refreshing that JoJo is getting to do a dance other than the spunky jazz stuff she always does, much to the delight of Jess, who is wearing her Easter bonnet for the occasion. Or maybe her Kentucky Derby hat.

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Kendall doesn’t have a cancer-stricken grandma so all she gets during her solo rehearsal is yelled at.

Everyone, please meet the Murrieta Dance Project version of Abby.

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Also known as someone’s leftover American Girl doll, who is probably not appreciating what is happening to her right now at all. “I’m Samantha Parkington™, dammit! Leave me alone!”

Monster Under the Bed does look adorable. But you can’t leave the Murrieta mothers alone, even for a minute.

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Poor Samantha Parkington™ Lee Miller. She didn’t ask for this.

Back at the ALDC, Mack is proving adept at the dance portion of the group dance, but her face doesn’t change. Give ’er a try, Maddie. Welcome to your reward for beating Maddie last week, Mack. Mack’s out; Maddie’s in. Gosh, whoever saw that coming?

In the Mom Closet, the other mothers ask Melissa if the favoritism bothers Mack. Melissa makes her zombie arms and says it’s Abby’s dance and she is not a terrible mother. It is what it is. The girls have to win. Winning is everything. The hell with how the youngest feels. Ok, I added that last part myself.

Come competition day, we discover that we are that same place where Christi had “her last hurrah” at Nationals. Oooooooh! The ladies wonder if the place is, thusly, cursed. The curtain falls on them for good measure. (High five, ghost of Christi!)

Abby arrives at the same time as the MDP infiltrate their ranks. Erin says they have a gift for her and may they please deliver it? It’s balloons. Making friends with the monster, you know. Jill says they’re rude.

Erin tries to explain that the girls wrote something on the balloons, but before we can find out what that is, Jill pops every one of those suckers about three inches from Abby’s head.

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The MDP is excused, before Jill gives the same treatment to their noggins.

Turns out, the Monster has a plan. Here it is:

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Oh ho.

Kleenex! I need Kleenex, stat!

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Yes. Dance Moms made me cry. And not for the typical reasons.

Lyrical may not be JoJo’s first choice, but that child did an absolutely lovely job of the dance.

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Backstage, her teammates hug the stuffing out of her.

Kendall kills her solo, too. Love that kid.

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Abby said she did well. Not great. But well.

Time to sic Maddie on poor little Caylie, who goes right out there and bobbles her very first turn. But she is still an intense, stunning, precise little dancer, and kudos to Erin for choreographing a solo that shows that off. The technical things that tiny, tiny child pulled off were remarkable. This should be a horse race.

Turns out two can play the psych-out game. Erin lines her kids outside the ALDC and has them do jumping jacks to a chant that taunts Abby. The monster decides to come out from under the bed.

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The monster is not offended. The monster has dealt with far worse than this. She laughs off the affront and then tells the girls that their teacher is not only encouraging them to behave obnoxiously backstage, but she is allowing them to jump on cement, which could hurt them. One thing you do have to hand to Abby — no matter how asinine the mothers behave backstage at times, the girls never have. Tonight, she’s doing these kids a favor.

Erin beats a hasty retreat.

Sounding completely rational, Abby tells her girls that she is not trying to shove Maddie down people’s throats; she is only trying to win, and I swear to God, if we go a whole entire episode with zero JC-baiting cray-cray from Abby, I’m going to pass out cold.

Erin gives her kids a pep talk that has something to do with Monday.

Monster Under the Bed is pretty awesome and the kids are perfectly in unison. Also, is it actually someone’s job to sing these dippy songs? Do you buy them on CD? Commission them from Dippy Songs R Us? Someone please enlighten me?

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The ALDC’s group dance is pretty and mature, but there are spacing issues throughout the whole thing and that coupled with the part where it doesn’t have the entertainment value the MDP’s dance had leaves me more than a little worried. Melissa says it’s all about what the judges like.

Awards time.

Kendall gets second. Abby says she blew it.
First goes to wee little Caylie.
Abby says winning wasn’t the point for JoJo’s solo.

Voices In My Head comes in second to Monster Under the Bed. As it should be, I think.

A little awkwardness in the hallway, which Erin supplements by handing over the doll, and then Abby says that no matter how obnoxious they were, they still beat us. The other mothers decide it’s all Melissa’s fault.

Next week on Dance Moms, Kira screams, everyone cries and Abby turns on Giana (whuuuut?)

So let’s talk, kids. Were you stunned by a completely lucid Abby? Moved by JoJo and her nana? Were the results as they should be? Is all this fussing at Melissa warranted? Who felt bad for the doll? Sound off in the comments section below.

New episodes of Dance Moms air Tuesday nights at 9/8CT on Lifetime.

30 Comments

  1. Abby is a not good teacher she needs to quit and find anthoer one we can find a girl that teach us good not bad like abby we don,t love abby.

  2. It just gets tiring with all the Maddie stuff. Of course she was gonna lead the dance dont even know why Abby strung Mack along. Maddie is developing quite the attitude but between Abby & her mother who can blame her? Jill is getting on my neeves,a,bit also. She seems to be following in Melissa’s kiss Abby’s behind model. My fav dancer has become Jojo. She did a nice job for her gramma in a genre she doesnt do that much. I think she deserved to finish higher. Anyway i do feel its true that Maddie has plateaued and if any of the girls had been given the attention and the choreography Maddie had since way back on day one—they would all be equally succesful.

  3. HAVE A BIG PART

    Come in here, dear girls, have a big part
    You’re gonna go far, you’re gonna fly high
    You’re never gonna die, you’re gonna make it if you try
    They’re gonna love you

    Well, I’ve always had a deep respect, and I mean that most sincerely
    The team is just fantastic, that is really what I think
    Oh by the way, wear some pink

    And did we tell you the name of the game, girls?
    We call it Riding the Gravy Train

    We’re just knocked out
    We heard about the sell out
    You gotta get an album out
    You owe it to the people
    We’re so happy we can hardly count

    Everybody else is just green, have you seen the chart?
    It’s a helluva start, it could be made into a monster
    If we all pull together as a team

    And did we tell you the name of the game, girls?
    We call it Riding the Gravy Train

  4. I actually liked this episode! A lot of dancing, not a lot of mama drama (there has to be a bit though, it’s in the title), nice story line with JoJo’s grandmother, and (God help me) I do find Erin Babbs entertaining!

    JoJo’s solo was nice as a tribute to her grandmother. However, let’s face facts, it was not ever going to place well in a competition. The child just doesn’t have the technique, the fluidity or the facial expressions to do lyrical. I kept watching it picturing Chloe doing the same dance (as it was totally choreography Abby would have given her!) and JoJo just doesn’t have the same abilities in lyrical. I’m not saying Chloe is much better than JoJo, as JoJo excels in jazz areas where Chloe would have fallen. It’s just they are two different dancers with two opposite styles, and a Chloe dance doesn’t work with JoJo’s style.

    Kendall did nothing for me this episode. I was almost like Aby, screaming at her to “straighten you knee” during the dance. The dance also seems a bit fast paced and that didn’t really work for her either. Her facial expressions were amazing but I feel she sacrificed her technique to get them!

    I liked Caylie solo. After reading some of the comments here I thought she was going to look like an intermediate dancer, but she is a powerful little firecracker! Yes, she fell out of her first turn sequence, but at least she came to a dead stop and didn’t go tumbling backwards into oblivion (a la Kendall, Season 4). Her lines were sharp, her movements strong, her technique on point! No surprise to me that she won really!

    Group dances. I loved, loved, LOVED MDP’s dance. It was entertaining, they told the story, the were in sync, they were connected to the dance, every single dancer has lines to die for, and I loved it so much I watched it three or fours times back to back before moving on to ALDC’s. However, when I was lying in bed at one in the morning with the song going through my head, I didn’t love it quite so much!!! (They’ll be dancing, grooving, howling at the moon and ARGHHH!!!).

    ALDC’s dance was an ALDC dance. To be it was almost a replica of “Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself” from Season 4, down to Maddie’s costume. I mean don’t get me wrong, it was good, technique was strong, but it was a major sense of Deja Vu for me. I totally understand Lori in the spacing issue. Maddie was never dead centre of the two dancers in the back, highlighted by her white costume against they’re black. Mackenzie also finished too fr away from centre in ending pose. Also, this is the second week in a row Abby has taken Mackenzie out of lead and given it to Maddie, and two weeks in a row they lost!

    As far as I could see Chloe wasn’t mentioned in this episode, and some just said Christi had the fight with Abby there. Just like Christi said something similar to Kelly about “W**re, the Sequel” when they returned to that venue. No one meant it in a bad way, they were just stating fact, and I think a lot of viewers get too touchy when it comes to Christi and Chloe! If they were slating their names it’d be one thing, but they’re not!

    The MDP mother at the end was way put of line, dying for her 15 minutes of fame!

  5. This was a throw away episode. Sort of a combination of damage control for Abby and a ‘let’s see if this new group of adversaries can live up to Cathy and the Candy Apples’ (by the way…no). I think it’s really sad that another woman is willing to do anything to get her group on TV, including making herself look almost as crazy as Abby (which is not something that anyone should want). Maybe she’s hoping that she will get her own show as a spin off.

    I agree with the woman that wrote about Chloe. She is really continuing on and showing everyone that Abby was the wrong one and Christi was right all along (even if she went about it in the wrong way a lot of the time). The fact that Abby and the other Mom’s still have to bring them up and try to trash them STILL just shows to go you how much they still want to try to rewrite history. Can’t help but wonder how much of that is Lifetime and how much of it is Abby. That whole ‘Christi and Kelly are trying to ruin Abby’ crap that they kept trying to feed us the first part of this season is just that…crap (sorry to anyone offended by that word…but I’ve got to call it as I see it). Now…on to business…

    Poor Mackenzie. I actually got to see the very end of last week’s episode this week because my DVR cut it off last week and watching it live tonight I got to hear Melissa’s comments about the Maddie vs Mackenzie stuff. It shows how blinded she and Abby are about Maddie’s talent. Watching her tap dance again just showed again how not fabulous it was. If anybody has seen any of the tappers auditioning for SYTYCD this year, you can see that a lot of kids that are just a few years older than Maddie are doing tap that is so much more mature and so much more difficult. So funny that Abby went into transports about that routine and scoffed about how anybody could hope to win against it, when last year when Maddie competed a tap number, she went on and on about how difficult it is for a tap number to win. Last years number was a lot more complex and interesting than this one. I thought that maybe we didn’t see enough of it, but on the ‘extended choreographer’s cut’ this week it looked so much more ‘shuffle shuffle, ball change, turn’ and no moves that even looked that difficult. It looked like an intermediate number and not one that should win anything, whereas Mackenzie was a powerhouse from the minute she flipped onto the stage. Maddie had an unattractive smirk on her face during the whole number, too…sort of, ‘look at me…I’m tapping and ain’t it great?’ Just not her best by any stretch. Reliving her poor sportsmanship when Mackenzie won was no fun, either. Once her first reaction onstage, it was all sulk and especially when Abby hugged Mackenzie afterwards and when everyone was praising her; Maddie sulked. I loved when Melissa said, ‘look how happy Maddie is for you’ and Mackenzie pointed to Maddie and said, ‘yeah…look!’ HEEEE! Good one! Even on this episode, Maddie was put out that Mackenzie was on top. I just can’t imagine what their home life must be like. I, too recognized Mackenzie’s down turned expression as one of real pain and a true indication that she is going to be forever marked by this time in their lives.

    I also thought that JoJo’s number deserved better than it got. Yes…she does struggle a little bit on technique in some of the changes, but overall it was a good number and very pretty. I thought that Kendall did pretty well, too. Abby saying she had had 2 weeks to practice was ludicrous, though. She had hardly learned it yet, and probably thought she would never get to dance it, so probably had left it behind in her memory and didn’t practice it all week. Ridiculous. It was almost as much a new number as the other two dances. I also thought that the group number didn’t deserve first. I noticed the same spacing issues last week and they were overlooked last week, which made me wonder about the caliber of the competition. As great as the jazz routine number was, and not sure who was having the most issues with spacing, but it showed. Having Mackenzie on the side like that draws attention to the fact that she is so much smaller, and putting her in the center would have forced the others to orient themselves around her both last week and this week and it would have looked better even if Mackenzie didn’t have the ‘angst face’ that Abby wanted. Turned out not to make any difference. They didn’t win anyway. Maybe Mackenzie would have risen to the occasion if given the chance. I think she should have had the chance. Of course, then Abby would have blamed her for the loss, which I still think she will probably do next week, although once again my DVR cut off the very end of the show and I missed the previews for next week.

    Thought Jill was way out of line and just plain rude although I wish that MDP (and the CandyApples and Cathy) would quit coming in and trying to give Abby stuff. It never works out. You would have thought they would have learned when Abby threw the fruit on the floor…This stuff must be part of the scripted stuff…why else would these women do this? It never turns out well, although it did give us a chance to see just how awful our own Mom’s can be (I was actually shocked by Jill’s behavior, although I shouldn’t have been). Well…probably the best thing I can say about this episode was that it wasn’t about Nia and Holly, and we didn’t have to be treated to the continuing punishment of Nia. I am sure that chapter isn’t closed, though as we all know that Abby has the memory of an elephant. She never forgets and absolutely never forgives.

    • We’re a few week behind in Australia, and this episode only screened last week. I was horrified at Jill’s behaviour. If the MDP kids had gone to the trouble of writing on those balloons, it was good manners to at least treat those kids the way you want your own kids treated (and Jill is BIG on how she thinks Kendall should be treated).

      As for the two group dances, I loved the Monster dance. It was much more balanced than the ALDC dance by putting the much smaller Caylie in the centre as opposed to putting the much smaller Kenzie on the edge. It was also great fun. I’m getting tired of the same old ALDC lyrical pieces. Abby does much better when she pushes the edges as in “The Last Text” and “Where Have All the Children Gone” from previous seasons. Those two, and the Monster dance, have something in common: they all told an easily recognisable story.

      That’s my two cents’ worth.

  6. I was surprised to see the MDP was so beautifully in sync on the HARD stuff (those turns!)…and yet not so much on the easy stuff (vertical splits). I thought Erin Babbs came across rather insane (and just as awful of a teacher as Abby) in this episode, too.

    Abby was lucid, but I’m pretty sure that it has a lot to do with JoJo’s grandma being so ill – that’s something Abby *gets*.

  7. Dance Moms need to be canceled it is shameful and the fact that they still have to refer to Christi and Chole which by the way was the only reason viewers watched the show is sad. If someone wants to write about a positive role model write an article about Chole Lukasiak which is making a positive impact you youth and people around the world. Check out her music video Alice by Bianca Ryan and Fool me Once by Jess Goodwin. Check her out on the June cover on Nati Alist magazine. Through all the adversity Chole is respectful, humble and in a world were there is so much negativity being aired such as Dance Moms Chole bring hope, talent and a positive image. Lifetime need to give Chole a spinoff show.

    • I agree! I continue to be shocked at what Abby gets away with. If she were a man, this show never would have gotten past year 1, but for some reason, she is getting a pass on abuse that is truly life altering. I have always wondered why cps hasn’t intervened in any way and just have to think that everyone thinks that since the parents allow it, that it must be OK, but it isn’t and never will be. We have seen proof over and over again that you don’t need to cut down a person to make them perform well. Abby’s defense that the dance world will be even more cruel is ludicrous. We have seen so many examples of successful kids coming from studios where they are strict, but never personal. Never ever having a teacher say that nasty comment Abby made to JoJo last week about her father. Inexcusable!

  8. This was a tuff episode for me as it confuses me about the need to win versus the need to expand ones dance skill set. So Abby has choreographed Mack’s dances for the last 5 seasons. Most of Mack’s’ dances are acro based and show skills versus emotion (it’s more energetic than emotion for Mack). Now Mack is expected to just have the “face” skillset that the dance requires. Like our nature Nia pointed out in a previous episode, “if I was given the lead spot in the group dance more often, I would be better prepared today to do that role today”.

    But on the other hand there is the skill set that says each dance should be perfection (measured by winning) and there are no excuses that can justify losing. Abby, with rare exceptions like JoJo dance, has always put the focus for the dance results on the dancer. Work hard, practice more, doesn’t matter what the other kid did with their dance, would be examples of what Abby tells her dancers. So when Kendall was doing her face exercises than Mack should have worked on that on her own?

    On the positive side: I liked the opening session with the girls. The kidding about Mack’s’ win was fun. I was impressed with Kalani as last week she hugged Mack on stage after her big win, and this week she was the first (Maddie was the second) to hug the emotional JoJo when she came off the stage. All the scenes with JoJo were great and showed real-life emotions.

    On the negative side: I was OK with Melissa decision concerning dropping Mack from the lead. I was disappointed when Abby said, “no more jazz numbers”. I loved the dance Beautiful Bizarre. Jill seems to be taking this way to seriously, but I guess someone has to do that job. Jill is a little too pushy, and way to content free for my tastes. Yes, I agree that the results seemed a little bit off this week. JoJo definitely got robbed. I am very concerned over the preview for next week. I think getting into Kira’s parenting skill is not appropriate, and it only hurts Kalani, who seems generally loved by all the other dancers. And I could not figure out the Gia conflict? Leave that girl alone as she does a great job with the kids.

    JoJo – Love her execution of her dance. Good but not great.

    Kendall – She had her motions during the dance but overall it was just ok. I did not like the theme of the dance and really did not like the hat(s). I looked like a struggle to keep up with the top hat at the beginning of the dance and the flower trick was kind of childish for me.

    Group – I did not get the story from the choreography. Maddie stood out in the number, but nothing special from anyone else.

    Notes – I could not figure out Kendall turn sequence. It might have been the camera angle but it seems her head was focused not at the audience but to something to the side of the stage. It just looked strange to me. Also, did you catch the thigh muscles on Caylie. They were very muscular and looked like the thighs you would see on a football player.

    • Yes, not only did I notice Caylie’s thigh muscles, but I noticed that she was muscular all over. She reminded me of those child body-builders that I’ve seen. And what was with her just shlumping off the stage after her routine? Most dancers have some sort of graceful, stylish exit. She does seem like a very sweet little girl, but I, too, question her first place ranking in the solos.

  9. This is definitely the work if the editors. How did Caylie solo win first place? I don’t get it. Both Kendall and Jojo solos were better. As for Jill, she is a total idiot.

  10. Don’t know if any readers remember the “Sausage” freestyle thing, but I just wrote one for this episode.

    Everybody say shut up! Keep it going!
    Jill Vertes won’t you SHUT UP!
    Kendall really wanted to tell you to SHUT UP!
    Melissa’s good at it, shoulda told you to SHUT UP!
    Christi Lukasiak always being BROUGHT UP!
    Only mother to defend your child, she STOOD UP
    For all the other girls until she got FED UP!
    MDP loud in the halls, girls SHUT UP!
    Abby’s nails on chalkboard, skin crawls SHUT UP!
    Maddie Nicole Ziegler, SHUT UP!
    MelLIES-LIES-LIES-LIES-LIESa, SHUT UP!

  11. It was disheartening to watch Mackenzie this episode. I recognize the “eyes on the floor” gesture very well. I do the same. It comes from a lack of confidence. Mackenzie should have been on Cloud 9, but Melissa, Maddie and Melissa couldn’t stand to see that happen.

    I really like JoJos solo. It was very “Essence of Chloe” but with a Maddie ending pose. She danced well. I wonder if she really didn’t place or if I can blame it on editing? And why sacrifice it for a MDP vs ALDC storyline? It wouldn’t have killed the storyline if JoJo came in first. It’d have heightened it.

    Stop! Mama time!:
    The comment about Abby’s mother was uncalled for. The lady had to have known Ms. Lorraine was deceased. Jill! First, her extensions, clips, highlights or whatever that mess in her head was, it was dreadful. The desperation to stay young is so pungent. My mom is 60, doesn’t try as hard and looks younger than Jill. Guess it’s great genes and melanin. Jill, you’re old. Accept it, stay out of your girls’ closet and stop taking their hair appointments. Still on Jill, why mention Christi? Huh? Remember that place was the place where she defended YOUR child. Jessa, don’t be greedy. She gave her the solo, though she’d have been ran off the face of the earth had she not, be happy for that.

    • I was thinking the same thing about the Maryen Loraine comment, but really, how many times has Abby taken cheap shots at the girls’ mothers (especially Christi, with the mother doesn’t love her own kid comments constantly, and calling Cathy’s mom an idiot or whatever she said)? Abby doesn’t hesitate to take shots at the parents of her girls’, but her own is off limits? I mean, I get that she loved her mom, everyone loved ML, but maybe that was a tiny bit of karma coming back to bite her in the ass…..

      Absolutely Lori, that adorable little Caylie reminded me of Kimmy, and a little bit of the Sarah from last season. She knocked that solo out of the park, it was amazing. I wasn’t too fussy on the group from ALDCLA, just more of the same lyrical we see every week. I LOVED Murietta’s group though, now THOSE kids know how to act, and they were perfectly in synch while staying in character, it was awesome. And yes, I teared up too watching Jojo with her absolutely STUNNING grandma, wow what a gorgeous lady, to be able to keep that smile while being so sick says a lot for her strength, amazing. I wasn’t surprised that Abby let her have the solo, I think it struck a chord with her since ML also had colon cancer, I think the woman does have a heart when it comes to family.

  12. I found the entire episode a snooze fest. Boring. Was this another damage control? Probably.

    I enjoyed the MDP group dance. It was entertaining, (to me) they told the story, and I enjoyed it. The aldc dance was, to me, the same old thing as usual and it bored me.

    Yes, that mom said the F bomb, but big deal. How many times over the years has melissa blown a gasket screaming F bombs, with the word “mother” attached.

    I am assuming the nonsense with the ballons was a JC thing, a replacement for Cathy maybe. That studio of kids really are great and I wonder why they are on this train wreck? They are just blowing their reputation on this show doing all that silly stuff.

    Am i the only one who absolutely detests jill? i have from the day she showed up.

    great recap Lori! I am impressed that you can do this, actually having to pay attention and such. 🙂

    • Thanks, Debra! Jill, to me, is the only one of the original moms who seems wholly in on the joke and, thus, is willing to throw herself into what the hell ever. I consider her the class clown and generally appreciate her for it.

  13. Man, it sure feels good to be back now that my school life is over for now! Of course, I never stopped reading the blogs of hilarity, but commenting just could not happen like scheduled. But, I’m back with a vengeance!

    Alright, this episode started off pretty good with the girls. Mackenzie has been dropping some good zingers lately and I’m loving them for all it’s worth. Although I didn’t appreciate Maddie’s comment of it never happening again either. Like my god, Maddie, it’s dance. Plus she’s your sister. It’s not like she cheated you out of a million bucks!

    Pyramid seemed like normal. Abby being typical. Plus, I don’t know what she was talking about with Kalani, but she was not soft. She was soft and fierce at the same time. When she did her ponche, it was elegant but had the same attack the hip-hop, funky style called for. Abby is so blind. Mackenzie was at the top! Good for her! …Even though she never got to prove that she might’ve been able to stay at the top.

    Jojo’s comments nearly broke my heart. I had an aunt, although I wasn’t very close to her, who died of breast cancer. The rate at which she deteriorated frightened me so much that I closed down for a week. I’m terribly sorry for what happend to you Mrs. Acken, but fortunately you are still here to live longer than you wanted to, and to write recaps till you die! I’ll still be replying to as many Dance Moms ones as I can, too. I think Abby realized the emotion with Jojo, and knew it came from a right place. It reminded her probably of her own mother. Tender moment.

    And no, Abby, Kendall didn’t get a second chance. You took that chance from her. So, actually correction. Melissa’s reaction to MDP is great, that’s how I felt. I love the dancers, but damn they seem arrogant and Erin Babbs makes me want to jump off of a bridge sometimes.

    Anyone notice how back in Season 4, Episode 11: Blame It on the New Kid (I do my research Mrs. Acken, I research), Cathy wanted to pull her group # because ALDC’s Red With Envy was amazing? Well, Erin said “What are we trying to teach them? That they don’t win first, it’s all for nothing?” Where did that side go? Now she’s all about beating Abby.

    Also, I hate those comments they make about the same dance in and out. Solos, sometimes I see it. Groups can have it happen too, but seriously come on. My Pumps, Last Text, Electricity, Glam, Land Unforgiving, All Kids Go, Twilight, Children With Guns, Angels and Demons, Pink Lemonade, You Dream Will Be My Dream, Don’t Ask Just Tell, Rosa Parks, Living with the Ribbon, Witches of East Canton, Bollywood and Vine, Amber Alert… I can go on and on. Those dances are all original, not the same old same old Erin, not the same! I could list more, but then it’d be tiring for my fingers.

    Melissa was spot on. She can be a bad mother sometimes, but she can be a good mother too. I don’t know what to believe with the whole fiasco last episode, but we do know this. Someone wasn’t happy with Mackenzie winning and they got caught with their pants down. It’s the truth.

    MDP and the balloons, it didn’t seem gimmicky to me all that much but credit for Jill to take the bait and have the gall to pop them right in front of the other team. I died laughing. Jojo, Jessalyn, and Cathy’s moment made me cry too, yet again thinking about my aunt and how I didn’t have those moments with some of my own family members.

    I loved Abby’s little mind game she played, sending Maddie backstage to do those turns. You go girl. Even if she can act rude sometimes, this girl knows how to dance.

    Jojo’s dance was beautiful, although the song needed work. I loved it, and I really wished she placed. Kendall, I’ll be honest, I thought 2nd was gracious for her. I didn’t like the number all to well. She had some shining turns in her solo, but a lot of the time I was internally screaming “Straighten the knees. Change the face! Get up on releve!” Yeah… whoopsie. Caylie botched that first turn, and her mother did cuss indeed. I don’t think that was needed. When did winning dance competitions become the end all of the world? When? I didn’t really like the number, I got bored halfway through. I wanted to see a turn sequence that I haven’t seen before, also considering she botched a few turns at the end too. I don’t think she deserved first either, I believe a Jojo should have bested both Kendall and Caylie this week.

    Little tidbit. Talia Seitel, the same girl who did a solo in Episode 5 of this season against Maddie’s All God’s Creatures and Kalani’s Fragile Forest routines; well she supposedly had a solo too that wasn’t shown, and also got first place.

    Now, MDP’s group seemed campy and it was meh for them. I loved the last number they did the most. I still believe they should’ve won that competition more than this one, but hey I’m not a judge. However, did anyone notice that when the girls started their fancy shmancy turn sequence, the 2nd girl in the back row (I think it was her), completely blew that sequence? I felt bad for her.

    I loved ALDC’s group #, and I don’t say that fairly often. I rarely do enjoy them as much as I did this time. Maddie was a wonderful choice, even though I think Kalani would’ve done it better. The song was lovely too, it’s one of my favorites I’ve heard this season. I do believe they were cheated this time. I’ve watched the # countless times, and I didn’t see too many spacing issues Mrs. Acken, so I’d oblige to know when and where there were issues.

    At the end, dear lord with the end. Caylie’s mother did too cuss, why she had to lie I don’t know. And then there’s that one mom who always goes after Abby after every time they compete and she hits below the belt. Good one about the mother. At least when Kelly made that comment, Mrs. Lorayin Miller was alive. Abby hit back so hard, I literally cussed in shock.

    Next episode is bound to be a doozie. Even though I’m six years from legal age, I might need a drink after watching next week. I recognize the new choreographer from AUDC Seasons 1 and 2 for a little throwback. And I’ll be honest, we all know Kalani is not leaving the ALDC. She isn’t. She had a solo the week after next.

    Great recap Mrs. Acken. It felt great commentating! I love them so much.

    ~ Christian C. (15 Year-Old Dance Moms Fan)

    • Welcome back, Christian! I missed your delightful commentaries!
      I usually watch the episode first then read Lori’s recaps and the Dance Moms Nation comments later, but I’m going to do it backwards this week. I think reading the recaps first will enhance my experience as I look for the things about which I’ve already read.
      Lori, God Bless You for the joy and laughter that you bring to us here on this blog, considering the personal challenges with which you have dealt. Thank You.

    • I have been really horrified by the way Melissa has treated Mackenzie. Bursting into tears when the child won (by beating the precious Maddie) was frankly, unforgivable. Mac will I hope, get away from her poisonous mother and build a better relationship with her big sister at some point in the future.

      • Well, technically my last day of 9th grade was June 4th, but I’ve doing my extra work and summer reading now so I don’t have to wait later to do it, so left some important things such as Dance Moms and your blogs to the side for awhile.

  14. That was totally a maddie solo that jojo performed…Abby does have a heart after all. I thought it was beautiful and deserved to place. Mdp group dance was better, they deserved to win. Abby was actually fairly normal today, no cray cray this week. Don’t worry, there’s always next week…and next week looks like a whole lotta cray cray!

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About Lori Acken 1195 Articles
Lori just hasn't been the same since "thirtysomething" and "Northern Exposure" went off the air.