Discovery Channel Alaskan Bush People recap: Divide and Conquer

Alaskan Bush People Ryan Berenz

Do the Alaskan Bush People get paid? We asked! Read our interview with the Brown family.

In Discovery Channel’s Alaskan Bush People Season 2 Episode 11, “Divide and Conquer” (June 12), the Browns are low on meat and send Matt and Bam out to hunt deer. Bear goes on a date, and some of the Browns go to the town of Gustavus to find chickens.

Alaskan Bush People

Alaskan Bush People Season 1 Recaps: Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | The Wild Life

Season 2 Recaps: Episode 1 | Episode 2Episode 3 | Episode 4Episode 5 | Episode 6 | Episode 7 | Episode 8  | Wild Times | Episode 9 | Episode 10 | Episode 11 | Episode 12 | Episode 13 | Episode 14 | SHARK WEEK! | Episode 15 | Episode 16 | Lost Footage | The Wild Year

Billy is lecturing us again about independence, self-sufficiency, freedom and all that jazz that they’ve failed to demonstrate during this series. It’s winter, and the family is low on meat. Billy’s run up a huge tab at the Misty Bay Lodge, so that rules out cheeseburgers and fries. Time to send some kids off for another very IMPORTANT hunt. So of course Billy sends Matt and Bam, because they cooperate so swimmingly. Maybe Bam might just “lose” Matt out there, if you know what I’m getting at. “Don’t come back without a deer,” Billy says. And don’t come back without Matt [wink wink].

Bear has his date with Sara/Sarah, and he can’t decide whether to wear the camouflage, the camouflage or the camouflage. Rainy — “the most fashionable of the Brown children,” for whatever that’s worth — weighs in on Bear’s choice of attire. The “Bush Barbie” — not to be confused with Barbara Bush —  tells Bear to go with the black shirt. It reeks to high heaven, so Bear EXXXXTREEEEEME launders it in a frozen puddle and throws it to scorch dry in Noah’s clothes incinerator.

Matt and Bam’s hunting trip gets off to a rough start, and the Accursed Skiff of Woe is snow-covered and frozen into place. The Skiff just might be my favorite ABP character.

Bear goes on his date in Hoonah. He wants to give Sara/Sarah a gift, so he and Gabe scour the shoreline for heart-shaped rocks, shells or other interesting-looking garbage. Bear eventually settles on a heart-shaped box of chocolates. He has a good strategy for this date: He will try not to talk about himself AT ALL. Unfortunately, Sara/Sarah doesn’t talk about herself AT ALL, either. She speaks only through eyerolls. Sara/Sarah is cute, but you could park a bus between her front teeth. They share a cinnamon roll, and it turns into one of the saddest dates ever caught on camera. It ends with Bear up in a tree. No, Sara/Sarah’s womb will not bear Brown family fruit. At least not on this day.

Bam and Matt are aboard the Seventh Skiff of the Apocalypse to search for deer. It is illegal to shoot at game from a moving vessel (Alaskan friends: Really?), so they have to park the Skiff from Hell and track on foot. Matt and Bam end up in a whisper-shouting match over who should stop talking. “Your voice is death in the woods!” one of them whispers loudly. Then Matt falls down a small hill and “twists” his ankle. Sorry, Matt, but that ankle is going to have to come off. The ankle just gives the boys a reason to park it for the night and have a man-to-man over a fire. Matt knows his character well. “I screw things up all the time,” he says. “It’s what I do.” Bam tells Matt, “You’re my only older brother, so I’m always expecting more from you.” This is The Godfather equivalent of Michael looking up to Fredo.

Back home, Billy feels like chicken tonight.

(Digression! I knew a guy in high school who released a live chicken into the local Burger King and then fled the scene of the prank singing the “Chicken Tonight” jingle.)

“Don’t come back without chickens,” Billy tells Gabe, Birdy and Bear. Someone in Gustavus is rumored to have chickens, so Billy sends the kids on an excessively long, fuel-wasting journey. Arriving in Gustavus, they find a random man walking alone on the dock and Gabe approaches him. “We’re looking for chickens,” he says. The man, your archetypical Alaskan mariner with blue-dyed beard and crooked finger, gives them convoluted directions to Josh Wade’s place. The Wade compound looks like an old-timey fort or something you’re forced to visit on a grade-school field trip. They’ve got various bits of weird Americana on the walkway to their place, presumably to frighten off evil spirits or small children. The Wades indeed have chickens, and Gabe barters some labor for a few of them. Josh has them clean the “summer coop,” which turns out to be an old van. “I painted it black, so ya know, it could kind of carry the heat,” Josh says of this converted van coop. “But it kinda stews the feces, too, ya know,” Josh continues. The van is literally full of chickenshit. It still probably smells better than most of Bear’s clothes.

“Shouldn’t be too bad,” Josh assures them. “It’s just the feces there.”

After cleaning the chicken crap out of the van, the kids then have to chase down their chickens. After a little slapstick chicken-chasing scene, Bird is able to calm a chicken with her animal magnetism. She says that animals like her and can sense her good karma. Meet Snowbird Brown, The Chicken Whisperer.

Elves have magically healed Matt’s ankle, and he and Bam are back on the hunt. They spot a deer somewhere about 50 yards away. Look! Over there! Behind the mist and somewhere in those dark trees! You don’t see it? Wait. I don’t see the deer, either. Did someone forget to CGI it in post-production? Bam shoots at something anyway, and BEHOLD! A dead deer! Matt starts gleefully giving the deer an autopsy. Matt loves the liver, and he loves cutting up and tenderizing the heart, mostly because he likes to gross out his family. But after Matt’s Hannibal Lecter act, he pauses and says, “[The deer] is truly provided for us, you know. It’s sent by the Good Lord.” The Good Lord or one of the Skaflestads, take your pick.

Back at Brownton Abbey, the family is celebrating the successful Easter egg hunt and the deer harvest. They’ve already built a chicken coop so Gabe will have something to shovel feces out of. Something bothers me about this chicken thing, and it involves an old biology test question that has haunted me. While it seems like raising the chickens and eating their eggs is a good sustenance strategy, remember that you also have to feed the chickens to keep them alive to produce eggs. Strictly in terms of bioenergy, the smartest thing to do is eat the damn chickens right now and then eat the bags of chicken feed.

I liked this episode. Foremost, Billy and Ami barely appeared in it. Bear’s date was terrible and therefore entertaining. Bluebeard was good comic relief, and Josh Wade delivered one of the all-time great lines in ABP history.

53 Comments

  1. Does it seem weird the raindrop girl is so talkative this season. Last season she was mute. I can’t believe the little girl is 12 going on 21 with her orange lipick and “strong sense of fashion”. Lol

    • At least she is not sleeping in the same tent as Billy anymore, hope she gets a lock for her door.

  2. Ryan: YES! THE SKIFF has taken on a life all its own !!! So you think you may have Alaskan Bush Paranoia. That must be a new syndrome that you catch from watching too many re-runs !! Or doing too many recaps !!!! LOL

  3. I don’t know who is worse, the mother from 119 kids and and stopped counting or Billy Brown. Whenever either of them talks I feel myself reaching for something to throw at the tv.

  4. Looks like the fans favorite character is the Skiff, a little boat that is always true. Maybe the Skiff will get it’s own show when the Brown’s go to jail. As always Ryan you turned a turd into a chicken sandwich. Thanks

  5. Ryan……so you really think the brawl on the dock was staged? If you watch the short clip of that “event” you can’t make heads nor tails of it. All you see is a bunch of grown men rolling around on the dock and a lot of cussing. Wouldn’t surprise me, though. Nothing that group does is a surprise.

    I think you have started something with the skiff, Ryan. A post by Egan came up with the Skiff of Misery and the Apocolskiff ! I can add this one: Atilla the Hun Skiff of Death !!! Or how about this: Instead of sitting around the campfire singing Kumbayah they can sing “Ghost Rider Skiff in the Sky !” LOL
    One has to have a sense of humor with this God awful mess.

  6. FOXY: You are a tad bit (an understatement, I might add), misinformed. Where have the Browns/DC lied, you ask? Where have they NOT LIED is the question of the day.

    Don’t know where you are getting your information from but NONE of it is correct. This family does NOT WORK. What has been seen is supposedly a “barter” taking place, (something they are renowned for doing), or something “resembling” a job that is being “filmed” for an upcoming episode. This family of five adult male children ranging from 22 years to 32 years have never worked in the capacity of a full time, tax paying, social security paying job, have never had public or private schooling (supposedly home schooled but if you saw proof of their writing capabilities you would have a flash back on what your writing and grammar looked like in the 3rd grade), and have never had regular doctor nor dentist visits. It is not a question of not having done these things because they were residing “in the bush” but one of utter irresponsibility……plain and simple.

    I could go on and on but David has graciously summed everything up for you quite nicely. As always you were SPOT ON IT, David!

    I will add this. This family of “honorable” Americans have compiled a total of 63 indictments of fraud against the State of Alaska for LYING (oh contrare, did I say that terrible word?) on PDF residency applications, going back several years, collecting thousands of dollars, when, in fact, they were residing in the lower 48. Proof you say? Everything is documented for your little unbelieving eyes to read if you search it out on the State of Alaska court filing system. If you are still not convinced……let the proof be in the pudding, as my mother always used to say. The Browns have a pending court trial on January 11, 2016, in Ketchikan, AK. Why don’t you attend and see first hand how an honorable American should NOT act.

    The community of Hoonah have opened their arms and hearts to the Brown family but they have not answered in kind. They, in fact, decided to have a screaming match with some of the local men on the dock where their (lack of) Integrity boat is parked and ended up with their disrespectful asses being thrown in the drink. Ever seen those commercials that say “don’t mess with Texas?”………reminds one of that……because now the Brown clan knows not to mess with Alaskans…….especially those that DO WORK !

    David…..loved the comment about Sean Connery, by the way.

    I need a drink! BARTENDER! Make that a double. And musketeers…..heres to you !!

    • You know, as entertaining as the Browns’ brawl on the dock was, I really think it was staged. If they fought with anyone other than the Skaflestads, I would be more inclined to believe it. But Mayor Kenny Skaflestad has appeared on the show. There’s even a Ray Skaflestad in this episode’s credits. A Skaflestad was linked to one of the girls who visited Brownton Abbey in Season 2A. Basically, there’s a pattern of Skaflestad involvement in this whole circus. I’m OK with that, because it’s fun to type “Skaflestad.”

      • Yea I kind of wondered about that connection also. That name just seems to appear too many times with things to do with ABP.

      • It was not staged, and if it was then the Skaflestad’s were not in on it. Its a big family and they are not all involved.

  7. ABP wins the Friday night cable rating again with a .9 in the 18-49 age group. Down another 10% from the previous week. They beat out Family Guy reruns by .1 with two episodes getting a .8. Family Guy is in the 11:00 PM time slot so it isn’t even in primetime.
    ABP looks like it is still slowly fading and losing audience.

  8. What’s so hard to understand? They sold books for quite a while, and they have a TV show now. That is quite a bit of income right there to facilitate basic needs from society. They do work when they’re in town, with that small of a population every pair of hands count and there’s likely always something to do. They sell pelt and perhaps homegrown herbs/veges. They may sell salmons/meat if the catch is plenty that day. The fact that a lot of people nearby helped them out meant that they’re sufficiently connected with the society in a positive way, such that a small paycheck from the government is well justified (where are they going to spend those money? Back in town, all of it, stimulating the economy). As for having nice enough clothe — It’s a show. Even the least image-concerned of us know to at least clean up a little bit when we’re in front of cameras. I doubt it would be fun to watch really dirty people (if they’re that dirty, I doubt we can tell who’s who).

    They want to be relatively independent, but not cut off from the society all together. Otherwise why did all of them learn reading and writing? Never in the show did they attempt to show that they’re cut off from society, almost every episode they interact with the community in some way. And if they are going to interact with the community, they need the basic amount of common currency. All of these seem pretty straightforward to me, so I don’t understand a lot of the skepticism — Where have they lied? Or perhaps to the most skeptical of us, where have they lied to us more than what we’ve been lied to by everyone everyday?

    • There book has sold poorly. Note I said book and not books. The only one that ever really sold commercially was “One wave at a time”. He claims to have written over 60 children’s books. Nobody has ever been able to locate even a single one. When one of the kids was pinned down and asked this question about where all the books are the answer was… “Well my Dad likes to tell stories, but he doesn’t write them down”. Ummm yea, That is a super long way from writing 60 books. So basically made up.
      If you look at Youtube some of the kids have channels that date back over 5 years ago where they are trying to push you to buy that book and pimping their upcoming movie (never happened) and the upcoming documentary (never happened). Weird isn’t it that this family that was just discovered “living in the wild” has Youtube channels trying to sell crap to you over 5 years ago. Then of course there is the book Billy wrote (a number of people have come forward and said it is all a big steaming pile and never happened) which contradicts that they lived alone in the wild for over 30 years. So his own words they never lived in the wild. The state of Alaska has them up on many felony charges that basically say they didn’t even live in the State of Alaska for many years, let alone they lived in the bush.
      You have obviously never been to remote Alaska, so basically you are just pulling stuff out of your behind and acting like it is fact. In remote Alaska jobs are very hard to come by. That is why many of the young are leaving the villages in droves to find work to support themselves. So no, there aren’t plenty of jobs to be had for the Browns to saunter into town and work for a couple of hours and receive stuff. This is made up stuff for this TELEVSION SHOW. They don’t sell pelts because… THEY DON”T EVEN HAVE VALID HUNTING LICENSES. Ever wonder why when one of the family shoots a deer you see a close up of them pulling the trigger, then a different shot of a dead deer? No? Well that is because locals shoot the deer because they aren’t allowed to shoot game. If the Browns shot anything they would show a shot of the back of a Brown with the deer in the background while the deer gets shot. There is only a whole freaking camera crew there.
      They don’t sell Salmon either because they again, don’t have hunting a fishing rights. Also Hoonah is a fishing village and there are lots of fishing boats. Nobody wants their extra day old salmon. Also have you ever seen them fish for salmon? Nope, because it never happened and they aren’t allowed. But please, continue to lecture us on all of the things you think happen up here in Alaska because you watched a made up television show.
      They are not sufficiently connected to the locals who want to help them. Everybody who appears on this show is PAID! Much of the rest of the town thinks they are complete clowns. They completely laugh at folks like you who think this crap fest is true while the whole time the Browns live in town and stay each and every night Icy Straights Inn with private rooms, satellite TV, a restaurant and full bar. They go out to the land during the day and film and go home at night. How many shots have you seen of the Browns under the stars at night? Basically zero. In fact they live in a tropical rainforest climate and it rains almost every day. Ever see the Browns enduring day after day of rain? Nope, because they live in a hotel. Even the land and the cabin aren’t theirs. The whole “Browntown” is just a scam.
      Nice enough clothes? Ami friggin wears the same white Angora sweater practically the entire show and it never even has a speck of dirt on it. What a magically sweater. Half the rest of the clan wears leather which no Alaskan does as it is horrible in the cold and rain. Real Alaskans (such as myself) get plenty dirty when we have to work outside.
      It wouldn’t be fun to watch dirty people huh? I am sure Mike Rowe would ne interested to know that as he had a long running show that seemed to do well based on this concept. Their clothing choices are ridiculous based on where they pretend to live. Half the time this show is so lazy they don’t even try to lie in a fashion that is believable. They could care less as long as they all make money.
      They don’t want to be cut off from society? They try to tell you in every show that do want to live away from society. Remember, they lived so far away from society that half of them talk like a Sean Connery extra on a movie because of this (what a freaking crock!). If I freaking have to hear Billy one more time lecture his family on how they have to live independently I swear my head is going to explode. It is funny how this rough and tumble family who has lived in the bush for thirty years has never seemed to figure out how to dry clothes (remember last episode Noah had to invent this because in the previous thirty years it never came up) or god forbid know how to stock up food rather than always telling his kids they have no food and don’t come back without a deer. They seem to have no clue how to get by and completely make up everything as they go. They supposedly have only had THREE DECADES to practice this. Boy I am fired up tonight for some reason.
      Where have they lied? Ok, now you have gone too far. Your just testing me now. I am going to reverse this question to you because it will be far shorter this way. I want you to pick 5 things out of this whole show and do a little research and show us all they are true. Because practically EVERYTHING in this show is a lie. Much of it confirmed through research and speaking with people who live there. Or better yet why don’t you write us an essay on how Gilligan’s Island was all true, because it was also a TV show, so in your world it must be all true. I am going to bed while I fear for the future of society.

      • I see, you certainly have done your research on the topic, I haven’t. I assume people as innocent until proven guilty. And by that, I really mean, I assume people as honest until they do not care enough to feign honesty. Whether if they’re really honest or not, I don’t care enough to prove, nor do I think any of it CAN be proved at a fundamental level.

        Those “evidence” that you’ve listed would urge me to question how much emotional involvement I should invest into watching the series, indeed. I may not feel TOO bad if something horrible happened to them again, comforting myself with “I hope this part was orchestrated”. So fear not your wall of text have not gone disregarded. But it does very little else in terms of deterring my attitude though, as you see, this skepticism and cynicism is what propped me into saying something in the first place. Some of it is just as much hand waving on your side as it is on theirs. I trust that you have your sources, I believe in your honesty, but I have reserves for your data interpretation. So all together it means I think you make a good point, but the point is not well enough to convince me to switch camp — I have as much reason to believe you as I have to believe them.

        I’ve been an academic all my life, “proof” is an exaggerated word for me, so is “reality”. What is reality but an objective description of the world, and what is objectivity but a collection of common subjective account of events? Remember Descartes: if you question hard enough and critical enough, you have every reason to doubt every single thing on earth and nothing, other than the existence of your own conscious being, can be “proved”. Off topic a little bit, but my point is, it is a bit ironic to try to use “facts” to support skepticism. It’s often a matter of heart more than it is of the eyes. For the Brown family, the narrative makes sense to me, and I do not need to know much more than that. Your narrative also makes sense to me, but again, both of these accounts are just narratives, and at this point it is just the matter of “what happens” for both of these narratives. It’s like two directors directing the same plot from different perspectives, it’s interesting to see.

        I hear stories everyday on the news channel. I have as much confirmation of those things actually happening as I have a documentary show on discovery channel. I choose to believe them, because of a fundamental assumption that I’ve made in my life — I’m not going to waste energy trying to fish out lies if I can’t even tell what’s the difference in the first place. Again, going back to Descartes. I’ll take all those things as truth, truth about a world outside of my own realm of perception, a story named “earth”. I will never ever in my life meet any of these people, or perhaps even go to those places. “Did they really happen” is a very, how do I say it, secondary consideration. I am much more interested in “does it FEEL real, is it PERCEIVABLE to have happened, or in other words do the description of the story fit my prediction of the world including rules and laws and likelihoods of happening, give or take a margin of error”.

        So, you can say, I just want a good show. And ABP is certainly is a good show, based on the ratings and fame they’ve gotten so far. You do seem to care very much about what “really happened” though, so it is not nice for me to say anything else — just that we want different things from the show.

      • It is to the point where this can’t be a professional film company. Have they even heard of a thing called editing or proofing anything. Not only did her teeth grow back but there was never any swelling nor even a drop of blood on any of the gauze stuffed in her mouth. This show should be used in film school to show students exactly what not to do.

    • What pelts? They would first have to trap. And Alaskan regulations are VERY specific about what you can do with your furs. All trappers sell them at the fur handlers auction. Herbs and veggies? You did watch them trying to “garden” in the snow and frozen ground right? Sell meats/fish? That is illegal here. You can’t do that.

  9. I care and respect for all the Browns from the head of the family, billy to their beautiful mother children andthe respect to one another. how refreshing to see a family care for one another. do they need a grandmother i would be honored to be a part of the family

    • Billy cares enough to use his kids as free labor while he leeches off them and the government while he does nothing at all.

      • That’s how anything works, in nature and in human societies. Nature is easy, you have pecking orders, starting from the patriarch and matriarch. For societies, you work your younger years and spend your time/energy to raise your kids, and your kids take care of you when you get older. If your kids can’t, society takes care of you in terms of pension/retirement plans. There’s 6000 years of human history and this trend is common in all major independently developed societies, that should mean something — it’s a system that works, and is natural too.

        He did his thing in his youth, he raised a lot of children, I’m sure he did a lot of handy jobs and hunting and fishing and selling and all of those things to keep all those children alive and well. He didn’t do too much for the sake of civilization but didn’t take much from it either. Though, I really wonder what IS “doing much for the sake of civilization” — Sometimes, not getting too much into each others’ way is already doing a big favor to social harmony. In remote areas people get PAID to simply stay there, populating the area for the national interest of easier management and claim. They also stayed sufficiently close to civilization to warrant social considerations. Just think back a century or two, that’s how many Europeans started out, expanding west and all. Not that unthinkable and definitely not “worth nothing”.

          • Well, I see that you made the comment in a lighthearted mood. I took it too serious then.

            Basically, I shouldn’t be reading this blog nor should I post here… I kind of just pumped into here and got massively ticked off by the cynicism and skepticism everywhere. Not by any topic really, just the cynicism and skepticism alone is too nasty for me to handle and keep quiet — until I realize that this whole blog is really built around it, (hopefully) in a lighthearted way. So, forget that I said anything, google just keeps bringing me back here…

          • Foxy, you’re always welcome here. Your comments are intelligent. You are correct: I mostly write absurd stuff about a silly, absurd reality show. There’s practically nothing about this show that I take seriously, nor should anything in these recaps be taken too seriously. At the same time, understand that some commenters from Alaska take this very seriously as the Browns have allegedly committed fraud against the state.

        • Sure, there’s retirement, but that’s for people who have worked their whole lives…Almost all parents have to maintain a job in order to provide for their children. I guess Billy’s job is scamming people on TV. Reality TV isn’t really real right?

  10. Wow I’m upset highly. I had truelly believed it was true. SHAME ON YALL!!!!! This isn’t so good knowing that true Alaskians do live hard. But these people lie. I wanted to know how this an that an getting to the boat without skip myself . So I looked it up. I was blown away with the PFD lies they did. They have scammed us all in the show. The Alaska should lock them up an show survivable in jail lol. That’s right. Uncalled for to shame Alaska. Were they collecting social security too on top of foodstamps. I want to know. I busted my ads to get mine. Fraud. U going to say discovery didn’t know. My ass

  11. Isn’t the Skiff of Misery the only way off the island, either directly or as a ferry to one of the other boats in their fleet that are supposedly anchored in the cove there? And why did they take the about-to-be broken Lorcan instead of the not-at-all ironically named Integrity? How did Gabe, Bear and Bird get out to the Lorcan to find chickens if Matt and Bam were already out hunting with the ApocalSkiff? And how could people that have been in Alaska for 30 years not think to throw a tarp over their most critical conveyance before it filled up with 2 tons of snow? Lots of questions about this episode, but the one I keep coming back to is: who decapitated the deer and why? I’m no hunter and maybe it’s standard practice to chop the head off, but none of the other dead deer they’ve shown were sans head. And what will the girls use to make more gun racks without antlers?

    Looking forward to next weeks hour of idiocy, but not nearly as much as the recap. Thanks Ryan and keep up the great work! Between you and Stoopidhousewives, Mondays ain’t so bad.

  12. Scandal, deception, fraud, criminal charges….is Ami running for President, or just with Hillary?

  13. Of all of the shows you have done, Ryan, this recap was one of the funniest. My favs: The Accursed skiff of woe, the Seventh skiff of the apocalypse, the Skiff from hell, and in another episode I believe you referred to it as the Skiff of doom. That skiff certainly has some bad mojo attached to it, doesn’t it? Or is it just those that operate the thing?

    Loved the “bush Barbie (not to be confused with Barbara Bush)” one, and we must not forget “Snowbird….the chicken whisperer”. Then…..”don’t come back without a deer……..or Matt (wink wink)……and Bam Bam and Matt having a “whisper shouting match”………..just hilarious. I was laughing so hard my boyfriend had to come and see what was so all fired funny that I was laughing at. I had him read your recap and he was ROLLING. Now this episode had some material in it for you !!!!

  14. Crystal clear there, NoLeNa……..

    What is hard to UNDERSTAND, however, are the 63 indictments that have been filed against the Browns from the State of Alaska for PDF fraud. Try to make Alaskans UNDERSTAND that since, in essence, they are the ones that the Browns have been stealing from.

    • Instead of just putting a clothesline up like a normal person he invented a way to burn your clothes over a fire. It was just what the world needed.

  15. I just want to say, love the Brown family in “Alaskan Bush People”. I like a number of your shows but I can’t get enough of the “Alaskan Bush People”. The only show I watch two to three times, Great stuff, Thanks

  16. The Browns have a show. They make money from the show. They use that money to buy stuff. Is this easy enough for everyone to understand?

    • Oh it was nice of chicken man to throw in some new pet carries I thought! I just bought one for 25 bucks, they must be 50 bucks each in Alaska…

  17. In Alaska the use of motorboat for hunting states that the boat motor must be shut off and progress from that motors power must have ceased. So yes, in this case they are correct. I am sure the last thing the Browns need is more trouble from the state of Alaska.

      • The Department of Fish and Game in Alaska basically frowns on using motorized vehicles for an unfair advantage. If an airplane is used then it must land and wait 24 hours before commencing with a hunt.

    • True story! The guy, “Lenny,” got kicked out of that BK. So he and his buddies found and stole a chicken from somewhere and released it into the restaurant. I still crack up whenever I think of Lenny & The Chicken.

  18. Funny the Browns never have a cent but they keep getting new gear like Matt’s assortment of new survival/camping gear he had to show off.
    Reminds me of that guy in college that never had that money to pay you back but always had weed and new stereo equipment.

    • Everything the Browns do they seem to magically have that item brand new laying around. There is only about 1,000 examples of this. Most recent ones I can think of.. the brand new chain link fencing for Noah’s laundry cooker and the pulley system for lifting Billy’s bed into place (don’t build it in the room it is going to be used).

        • New rakes and pics to plant a garden in the frozen ground.

          I enjoy how their clothes are always spotless and wrinkle free. Noah’s shirts have nice fresh pleats on them, must have invented a bush iron.

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About Ryan Berenz 2012 Articles
Devotee of Star Wars. Builder of LEGO. Observer of televised sports. Member of the Television Critics Association. Graduate of the University of Wisconsin. Connoisseur of beer. Consumer of cheese. Father of two. Husband of one. Scourge of the Alaskan Bush People. Font of Simpsons knowledge. Son of a Stonecutter.