Recap: Little Women: NY Episode 3 “Burlesque Brawl”

Sexy Jordanna owns a burlesque group and she’s invited some of the girls to participate in a steamy routine. Jazmin is excited to take the stage, but her protective husband isn’t wild about the idea. (But I’m wild about the idea! GO Jaz Go!) And we know that Dawn, Jazmin’s sister-in-law, is not a fan of little people performing; so expect major fireworks tonight in Little Women: NY episode 3!

Little Women: NY Episode 3

Jordanna asks Jason, Jazmin and Kristin to lunch because she as an idea. She owns a sexy cabaret burlesque group called Sass N’ Betties and she wants to do a show with all little people performers. She asks her most performer-y pals if they’re willing to help. (And twerk. We need lots of twerking tonight.) Of course they’ll do it! This is TV and we have “coming up” clips.

Lila is single and ready to mingle. She had given up dating for a year as part of her recovery from alcoholism, but now she’s ready to try online dating. One struggle that little people face in the dating word is a bunch of “Creepy McCreeperson” who want to bang women of short stature. Or put dog collars on them — which has happened to Lila. Jason is such a supportive friend to Lila; he knows that underneath her crazy drama and talk about vibrators lives a vulnerable and sweet heart.

I love that Lila says “XXy McXXerson” just like I do! “Shady McShaderson,” “Grossy McGrosserson” and “Meany McMeanerson” are all people who exist in my world.

Little Women: NY Episode 3
Jazmin may act sexy on stage, but she is sexy at home.

At Jazmin’s house, her conservative husband is concerned: he doesn’t want his wife to be an object of fetish fixation, but her supports her in her attempts to be an actress. Sadly, he’ll be out of town and miss her first performance, but I’m sure he’ll get a far hotter performance at home.

At rehearsal, we see the show’s sexy wardrobe and Jason vetoes banana hammocks. Why Jason – you don’t want to be basically naked?!?

Little Women: NY Episode 3
Practice makes perfect, but Misty is thinking about her boyfriend meeting her parents.

Misty ditches out of rehearsal by claiming to have to work. But really, she and her hunky boyfriend Joe head to dinner to meet her parents who are visiting from Louisiana. And as soon as they’re seated, protective mom and dad start with the grilling. Squirm. a southern gal, but she’s a modern woman. Her mother is very traditional and isn’t thrilled that her daughter is enjoying some sex in the city, and after a few drinks her hilariously embarrassing questions get a little out of bounds. Thankfully, Misty’s dad is an absolute angel and is proud of the woman his daughter has become and reigns in over-protective mom.

Little Women: NY Episode 3
Ommmmmm…. OMG

Because dating is scary, Jason takes Lila to see a terrifying-looking psychic who is certainly channeling something. Wait, didn’t we already see a psychic in Little Women: LA? Are we recycling storylines already? Lila can hardly keep a straight face throughout the experience, and when the psychic says she’s the “Queen of Wands” who is graceful, Jason can’t hide his laughter either.

Jazmin tells Dawn and Lila about her upcoming burlesque performance. Of course, Dawn is mortified and disappointed that her sister is “Volunteering to wear minimal clothing, dancing burlesque on a stage, while married.” Lila is excited for her friend, but Dawn questions her brother as a husband to allow Jazmin to dance. She still is against little people perpetuating stereotypes but exploiting her height as a performer.

The night of the performance, tensions are high: flaky Misty is late and doesn’t know the choreography, Jazmin is nervous, and Dawn shows up with her judgy face on.

Little Women: NY Episode 3
Dance, dance, in tiny pants!

The dance is sexy and fun! Jazmin kills it, Dawn shows she’s a pro when it comes to learning choreography, and the crowd loves it. Jordanna totally give sexy face the entire performance; you can tell how much she loves the spotlight. And can we marvel for a minute at Jazmin’s long, black, hair? I am so jealous! In one of tonight’s interviews, Jaz had her hair in a casual braid over her shoulder and it was thicker than a Disney Princess’! Lucky.

Little Women: NY Episode 3
When she has an opinion, Dawn is never one to bite her tongue.

Well almost every one in the crowd. Lila thinks everyone was amazing, but Dawn says simply, “it’s cute.” She says that parents say their kids’ performances are good even when they aren’t and holds fast to her opinion that when more than two little people perform together, it becomes a circus. It is interesting to hear a member of the little person community be so critical of the actions of other little people. And then the drama spills out on to the street.

The rest of the group thinks that Dawn is crazy and messed up in her head, and has issues with being a little person. After lots of dimly-lit squabbling, Dawn yells at Jordanna that the only reason she gets to perform on Broadway is because she’s a little person. At that moment, I thought steam was going to shoot out of Jordanna’s ears and she was going to go all Matrix on Dawn and fly through the air and kick her head off. The night is ruined.

Next time, it’s Mardi Gras (again, plot recycling?!?), David stands up to his sister, and we learn about cruel comments made about Dawn but someone who should love her.