Dance Moms Season 5 episode 13 recap: You’re getting my goat …

dance-moms-goats Lori Acken

If you wanna be my Dance Mom, you gotta get with(out) your friends… make it last forever, cause this show never ends. So given that … zigazig ahhhh, Dance Moms nation. It’s time for the Spice Girls/Poison Apples version of the Dance Moms recap. Which starts out innocuously enough as everyone gathers in the Dancers Den to talk about how weird it is to be without Maddie again (it’s not that weird).

This time, Maddie’s with Sia in New York doing SNL. And Melissa is lamenting about how she really should be in New York with her daughter, but she has to be here for the team. Oh, and also Mackenzie.

She’s not the only one lamenting that she’s stuck with here in Pittsburgh instead of riding Maddie’s coat tails basking in Maddie’s Abby-given Twitter-given whatever-given fame. So the mothers should be thrilled about that. Look thrilled, mothers.

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Thrilled.

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Thrilled.

But congratulations, you little only-semi-Abby-famous critters on the clean sweep wherever we were last week because I’ve forgotten already. But we beat the Candy Apples who were just too weird and innovative for their own good, you ask Abby.

We’re going to do pyramid A Chorus Line style. It goes something like this: Come here and get your headshot and then go stand back in line, hold it up and I’ll berate you. There. Pyramid.

This week we are going to World Class Talent Experience somewhere in Ohio. The Apples will be there, too. Abby (and despite the weird Jedi princess shirt, this is a good look for Abby) …

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… says that their team was sloppy and nervous because it was their first time dancing together, but they’re pretty solid dancers which she knows because they’re her rejects.

Jo Jo gets a solo. Kenzie does, too. Kenzie gets a message dance called Who Are You? because if she’s not Maddie’s little sister or MackZ the pop star … who is she?

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Duh.

Can’t do lyrical without Maddie, so, oh, let’s do jazz funk for the group dance. Spice Girls jazz funk. That sounds like a winner … from the woman who says only lyrical can win.

Over in Ohio — just some bland street shots to welcome us there — Cathy says that even though they lost last week, she relishes the vengefulness of her new mothers and we get a little montage of Abby being mean.

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Cathy and her sister-in-law Erin Stein Rich are going to choreograph the group number Stand Up and guess what else? No Maddie this week. WOOooooOOOh!

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Yes, child. Your mother is acting like that.

Back in Pittsburgh, Abby says the Spice Girls dance, Tell Me What You Want, is just exactly what they need to learn to compete in L.A. … where no one has thought about the Spice Girls in 20 years, but whatever. Abby says.

Up in the Mom Loft, we talk about the obvious … Abby is setting the remaining girls up to fail, when they are perfectly capable of doing a beautiful lyrical dance without Maddie. Melissa says the moms complain when they do lyrical and now they’re complaining when they don’t do lyrical, which is kind of a valid point. Except it’s not. If they mixed it up when Maddie was in the mix,  too, then maybe.

Abby tells the girls they’re flying without the net that is Maddie and people might actually, you know, look at them this time, so please be a spectacle for all the right reasons. Because the Apples have nowhere to go but up.

Aaaaand I may never stop laughing ….

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Seriously. Never. Dude in the corner’s my favorite.

Cathy is feeling philosophical about why Abby wins all the time and she’s feeling good about this dance. It certainly looks good. Her pot shot at Nia, not so good.

Jo Jo’s solo is jazz funk, too, and it’s about being Fancy. The mothers want to know what Jess is doing for Abby that Jo Jo keeps getting all these solos. Letting her dump fake blood on my kid’s head, says Jess. Big whoop. Jill says she shouldn’t get so cocky because Jo Jo is going up against Kenzie who is Abby’s baby.

Not today though. Abby rattles on about how Maddie is doing all the things that the pop star MackZ was supposed to do, so what happened? I’ll take “She can’t drive herself to auditions and everyone’s all about Maddie” for a thousand, Alex.

Anyway, Maddie’s in New York with Sia, so Kenz can have the spotlight for a weekend. Except she can’t remember her routine. Maddie would have learned the choreography before it even was invented, so what the hell, Mackenzie? Let’s pick on her about that just to undermine her further.

Upstairs in the Mom Loft, Melissa says they call Mack “the baby” at home because she’ll always be Melissa’s baby. And so what if she’s always in Maddie’s shadow? Uh, no, say the other mothers. You stand up for both your kids.

“There’s nothing I can do about it. She’s Abby Lee Miller,” Melissa howls. Well try.

So when Abby blames Mack’s blanking on her dance on homeschooling instead of a wicked case of Abby-induced nerves, Melissa tries. Eyes darting like a cat on the trail of a laser pointer, she protests that Mack can too remember and besides, where book smarts are concerned, she’s got Maddie, no contest.

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It just makes everything worse.

When we come back, we’re having a little Spice Girls lesson in the Dancers Den. Kenz may be book smart, but there’s something she does not understand.

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Holly breaks it down for the child. The producer wanted each girl to have, like, a thing that every kind of girl could identify with. Yeah, says Mack, but Sporty’s sporty and Posh is classy but what’s the deal with Ginger? Red hair. So what? No, child. Think spicy. And spunky. And… oh look it’s a picture of Maddie on the SNL stage!

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Joking. Just joking. Jill still hopes she wins to shut everyone up. Also, she thinks the group number is a bad idea.

Let’s go to Cleveland and find out.

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The Apples decide that a good start — well, besides that — would be to barge into the ALDC get-ready and run their mouths. Abby is zen as a garden Buddha.

And Mack is nervous.

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No one does, Pickle. Not a one of us.
Let’s dance. OK, let’s hug and then let’s dance.

Mackenzie goes first.

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So here’s the thing. There is no arguing that Mackenzie does not have the legs and lines that her sister does. But she has been trained to be an acrobatic dancer. To tumble and mug. Abby would never, not ever, dress Maddie up as a tumbling owl and expect her to win. And we know this because we watched Maddie dance when she was Mack’s age. Not the same experience at all.

Jess hits it on the head when she says that you better be a solid technical dancer when you get older because the tricks won’t charm any more. And Mack is. Someone just needs to polish it and let her shine.

Jo Jo’s solo is 100% Jo Jo and she dances it with style. But — and maybe it’s just me — she still looks like a little girl writhing around out there to big-girl music. Writhing really, really well, to be sure. But I still found myself thinking “look at the little kid trying to be a big kid.” Kinda like Asia. Both good dancers, though.

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Oh hey, weird localized-measles costumes. Who the hell’s idea were these?

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Dance Moms product placement! This gig ain’t going to pay the bills forever, you know.

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Maddie FaceTimes in and we show her the girls in their costumes. And when she hangs up, Abby tells the girls that if they don’t win, it’s probably the dance. Whoops, nope, it’s probably that only Maddie is good enough to win. So hey! Good luck.

I like the girl power dance way, way, way more than I thought I would. Actually, I kind of love it. The girls clearly love the chance to show their stuff in something lively and spicy and it’s fun to see how well they perform the jazz funk style.

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I’ll tell you what I want: More dance that are as fun to watch as this one. And yes, poobies, you’re all with me. ALL of you.

Time for the Apples to Stand Up. Wait just a durn minute, says Holly. Some of those moves look awfully familiar. But they performed them awfully well.

Results time.

Mack gets second.
Jo Jo wins.
Melissa looks ill.

Group gets second.
And the Apples take the win.

Let’s go rub it in the ALDC faces. With a cake featuring Abby’s face from the Kelly/finger-biting incident. Tasteful. Forgive me for not immortalizing the moment with a screen shot.

Abby decides to tit-for-tat against one child instead of the idiotic woman who really wronged her. On her way out of the room, she looks at Candy Apple mom Liza, tugs her ears, and mouths “Get those ears fixed.” The lowest of blows, even for Abby. Get ’er, Liza.

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The Pitt Crew moms rally around Liza’s tearful daughter, Chloe, and tell her she’s beautiful — which she is — and that she should ignore the dunderheaded adults around her and dance on.

Liza wobbles after Abby halfheartedly, then returns to Cathy and wonders why she gave up her life for two weeks only to be humiliated. Please. I feel awful for your girl, Liza, but surely you have watched this show. Surely. Abby embarrassed your daughter viciously once and you handed her the chance to do it again by jumping on this circus train. The only one I feel sorry for here is Chloe. Ashamed of? Take your pick.

Next week on Dance Moms, we’re back in L.A. working with Demi Lovato’s sister.

So what say you, Dance Moms Nation? Did you have great hopes for another semi-palatable episode, only to have them dashed by a grocery store cake and behavior that was equally tasteless? Did Mackie’s dance set her up for failure against Jo Jo’s whiz-bang thing? Which goat WAS your favorite? Sound off in the comments section below.

New episodes of Dance Moms premiere Tuesday nights at 9/8CT on Lifetime. Catch Maddie guest-starring in the Austin & Ally episode “Homework & Hidden Talents” this Saturday night at 8:30pm on Disney Channel.

44 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for writing these recaps. They are accurate, detailed, and as always, delightfully funny. Please keep writing them because I can’t watch full Dancemoms episodes and I still like to stay updated 🙂

  2. Thank you for removing one of the comments about who gets solos next week. The one with the theory on how it will be edited. I would rather see the show, then discover that someone’s solo was on the cutting room floor. However, there is still a comment up that lists spoilers for next week’s episode. Consider yourself minus one reader.

      • Jenny, I hate to be rude, but my comment still stands. Freedom of speech is allowed in America. Mrs. Acken can in some extent, monitor what happens. But, it’s an infringement to outright delete something of mine that has other commentary than the solo spoiling. I apologize for ‘ruining’ your chances of next week’s surprise. I’m normally Mrs. Acken’s first commentator when I read her blog after watching the episode. I don’t comment unless I’ve seen the episode before her blog goes up. Ma’am, if you were so inclined, you read my comment. That’s no ones fault, but yours. I’m trying to be respectful here. I even admitted to having spoilers in that section. I am a free willing teenage boy who will share whatever information I feel like sharing. It was your own intuition to read the full comment. The fact that you are so hurt over this inadhearence really says a lot about you. Please get over yourself and the fact that everything revolves around you, Jenny. Please stop being immature, you’re looking rather childish. Be glad I noticed before someone else wrote back a rather harsh and cruel response than I did. Mr. John above me already made humor of the situation. Leave if you please, but realize you’re only hurting yourself in this process. Mrs. Acken, nor I, nor anyone else who reads her stuff are being hurt. We are rather released from your idioticy and ignorance. Have a good day.

        ~ Christian C

        • Jenny, Jenny, who can you turn to
          You read a spoiler you could complain to
          I know you’ll think I’m like the others before
          Who saw your ‘tude and gripings on the blog
          Jenny I’ve got your number
          You need to change your mind
          Jenny, please change your number
          Ain’t it better to be so kind
          (Ain’t it better to be so kind)
          …with Apologies and Thanks to John Linen for his inspiration. 😉
          G K & the Pips

        • It’s called common courtesy. Maybe you should try it. You’re right about freedom of speech. You cannot be arrested for posting spoilers. However, the moderators of this site could choose to delete your comments if they so choose without violating your rights. You may want to research freedom of speech. Your comment above is anything but respectful as you claim. Please look that word up too.

          • Looking back at my post, Miss Diane, I realize my mistake. I was a little blinded by my anger. I am sorry for offending you with my comment too. I do know respect, madam. I am a teenager, but I’m not using that as an excuse. My comment however, has no offense content. Yes- it’s a spoiler. But, ma’am; who is it hurting? Lifetime with their viewership?

    • Jenny, we are a very small staff with a pretty intense workload and though we can ascertain a number of things about the people who post here, we don’t have the manpower or time to confirm if anyone is exactly who they say they are and what they really know and whether it is correct. So we ask all of you to be responsible for your own statements and actions in this space. We remove things that are blatantly offensive or include personal information, but otherwise, this blog is for entertainment purposes alone. I watch the episode, crack wise about it and hang out here and trade laughs from time to time … and that is it. We don’t dig around in anyone’s business outside the show, don’t confirm information offered here by anyone not on our staff and hope that you’ll all keep it in the spirit of (frequently disgusted) fun that it’s intended.

      The short version: Be nice to each other, guys.

  3. “I wish I could be in NYC with my daughter but instead I have to be here…for the team………………………….and Mackenzie.”

    Good grief Mellissa, we know who the golden goose of your fam is but you didn’t have to let us know that you know we know. I bet when Mack watched that part Mellissa was probably like “oh honey I didn’t mean it like that” and Mack was probably like…”yeah…sure mom!”

  4. This week I actually watched (some of) the show this week before reading Lori’s column. I was pleased that there was an obvious song parody idea…then I read the blog only to find Lori had already stolen it and I had to think of something else:
    ———————————————————-

    THE ABBY WEIGHT

    Go on, Miss Kenzie, there’s nothin’ you can say
    It’s just ol’ Jeff and Jeff’s waitin’ on the cancel day
    “Well, Jeff, my friend, what about fat Abby Lee?”
    He said, “Do me a favor, Kenz, won’t you stay and keep Abby Lee company?”

    Take a show off, Maddie
    Skip a show for free
    Take a show off, Maddie
    And.. (and) (and) you put the load right on me
    You put the load right on me

  5. Sia released a new video today that stars Maddie once again and it is beyond strange. Maddie doesn’t actually dance in it. She’s sitting the whole time (minus a few seconds when she gets picked up…you just have to watch it) and doing strange movements with her hands and making even weirder faces. She’s once again in the clean nude leo and of course, platinum wig. As usual, you can barely understand a word Sia is saying. The song is called Big Girls Cry.

    • I just watched the Big Girls Cry video on You Tube, and I only have 3 words: WTF???!!

      • I know, right?! I stared at my computer a few seconds after it was over and thought “what in the hell did I just watch.” Don’t worry, Abby says it’s art.

        • Well, people with serious mental issues have often become “Artists”, so in that sense, Abby may have a point. If the Sia videos that star Maddie are any indication of Sia’s childhood, I sincerely hope she is better now. Please know I am not making fun of mental health issues. It is a problem that is far too often not addressed properly, if at all. 🙁

  6. Just a quick comment. Abby put up on her a photo on her instagram the day this was filmed, explaining everything to about the number, etc. The producers banned her from doing lyrical this week, it wasn’t because Maddie wasn’t there. The producers purchased the costumes without consulting her and told her it had to be a Spice Girls routine. The producers knew Maddie could have been back in time for the competition but banned Abby from putting her in the group number. All in all, none of this was Abby’s idea, but the producers wanted the ALDC to lose.

    • Meh, I don’t buy it, of course none of this is Abby’s fault…..wonder what color the sky is in her world (eye roll). Does JC really think the viewers will buy that? He’s more delusional than anyone gave him credit for.

  7. How typical of Abby to go for the easy insult when she is in ‘poor sport’ mode (most of the time when they don’t win). It was so easy to see that the whole show was a set up for the girls to lose this week to the CADC. There was absolutely no way that the Spice Girl number was going to win over the lyrical dance by the CADC girls and Abby knew it as well as anyone. What an insult to Kalani for Abby to say that they couldn’t do a lyrical number without Maddie. Not only have they done it before, but just recently. I mean, isn’t anybody else sick to death of the ‘sing the praises of Maddie’ that this season has been? It is worse than any season before it and every one has been more Maddie-centric every year. I mean, the kid can dance and emote (and overact in the videos), but she isn’t the best dancer we’ve ever seen by a long stretch. Whoever said that Mackenzie is learning Maddie’s bad habits is correct, but I think that Abby has quit pushing Mackenzie in dance class because they have been concentrating on the Mack Z stuff (the word ‘stuff’ was generous). I think she looks bulkier, and I get the feeling that with all the continuous dance class that she and Maddie get instead of going to school is not having a positive effect on Mackenzie. I still think that she looks like she is a depressed kid. No joy in her dancing at all. Maddie has joy in her dancing because she still sees every new dance as a challenge and as a growing opportunity because Abby tries to give her new and more difficult stuff within her (Abby’s) limited ability, but with Mackenzie she keeps rehashing the same routine over and over again except instead of a routine that might challenge Mackenzie in a new way, she gave her a recycled Brooke routine. When Brooke left, Abby immediately put Mackenzie into all the acro places in the routines that she used to give to Brooke and ‘watered them down’ for Mackenzie who, although she is a gifted acrobat, is not a Brooke by any stretch (pun intended). Boy, Abby gets a move and clings to it so tenaciously. I just mentioned two weeks ago the backward cartwheels in a circle that she puts in every one of Mackenzie’s solos (just as they were in every one of Brooke’s solos). C’mon already!! As for the ‘she can’t learn a two minute routine’ jibe that Abby threw at Mackenzie, it was so wrong. The kid learns countless routines every week. She proves every week that she is capable of the lyrical stuff because she dances it in the group routines week after week. Remember the season when Abby tried to make Mackenzie into the new Maddie by giving her Maddie routines week after week? Oh yeah…it was the time that she was ‘punishing’ Maddie for not disobeying her mother and getting out of the car to come to dance (when she was 10 or so) the times the mothers all stood up for Kelly and boycotted until the Hyland girls were let back on the team. Remember that? Ah…the good ol’ days when Melissa still had a modicum of will. As I have stated before, she has sold her soul and the soul of her kids to Abby. Thanks Lori, for pointing out Melissa’s horrible blunder of saying that she stayed behind from Maddie’s big role on SNL for ‘the team’…oh yeah…and for Mackenzie, too. Then we got her saying the sappy stuff about Mackenzie being the baby at home because she will always be her baby. Too little, too late Mom. Oh..and by not letting Mackenzie have that role in the Matti B. video, she and Abby robbed Mackenzie of her chance to be in a starring role on a video. I mean…I don’t care how many teeny boppers buy Mack Z’s songs on Itunes, Mack Z is never someone we are going to hear on the radio or anyplace but the Ipods or Iphones of 12 year old girls. Lori, I also loved your comment about how Mackenzie can’t drive herself to auditions (funny Jeopardy reference that made me LOL…thanks). That is just it. Abby has always expected her girls to have their own cars and their own wills to go against whatever their parants say. Remember when she cried to Maddie that Maddie didn’t disobey her mother and come to practice despite the fact that Mom said no. I don’t know what happened to Abby somewhere in her life that she thinks that girls under the age of 16 can be treated like adults and be expected to act like adults and not get hurt by horrible comments like adult women, despite the fact that Abby couldn’t take Christi calling her fatso one last time and rushed right out and got herself a lap band, and continues to cry in front of everyone and not ‘leave it for her pillow’. I can say right now that there have been times when I wouldn’t have been able to handle the insults that she throws at those girls.

    As for the make-up. Every year the girls are more and more made up during rehearsals as much as during performances. When I was a dancer first starting out a 6, we only wore make-up in performances and there was usually one woman in charge of making us all up. As we got older, we were able to do our own make up more and more, but NEVER EVER were 8-12 year old kids allowed to wear make-up outside of performance. I mean, I can understand a little bit of mascara on the blonde girls so that they have eyelashes, but full blown pancake and false eyelashes on Mackenzie with that blood red lipstick just looks so wrong. I guess Melissa thinks all bets are off now that ‘she didn’t get’ what anyone could find objectionable about a 12 year old girl dancing in a dirty flesh colored leotard with a man in his 30’s wearing nothing but tight leggings. Yuck! Still think it was inappropriate an no amount of ART will ever make me think anything else.

    I liked JoJo’s number, too but agree that Mackenzie was so set up to fail. I do have to agree that JoJo has fire and ‘wants it’ a lot more than Mackenzie, too. I mean, JoJo is ecstatic to be on the team and endured her ‘hazing’ for the ‘reward’ of her jacket. Mackenzie has been Maddie part 2 for years and her fire is being slowly put out just like Abby is standing there with a hose dribbling on the fire in her heart. She couldn’t put out Chloe’s fire, but Chloe was older and more established as a dancer with solid technique to fall back on. Mackenzie is still finding her way and she obviously doesn’t respond to ‘tough love’ as Abby calls it…’outright cruelty’ as the rest of the world would call it.

    The group dance. It was quite fun and the girls stayed together really well and I enjoyed it. But did anyone else get the purpose of the red boots? They were to draw attention away from technique. As soon as I saw they were dancing in those boots I knew there was no way they would win. No toe point in those boots. No one could stand out as being a better dancer than any of the others because stiff red boots are a technique equalizer. They still had their powerful abilitly to dance in unison (which is one of the reasons that they win as much as they do), and they all have their own sass, which could stand out more when they have on wigs and can ‘mug’ more when playing characters than when they dance as themselves. I mean, the Lady Marmalade number didn’t even place and Abby expects this dance to win over a whole team of some of the best lyric dancers their age in the country…remember, they were chosen to be on AUDC because of that. Cathy’s nasty remark about Nia aside, she was right in that she has a team of Kalani’s, but someone else pointed out that even with Maddie dancing, the ALDC has been beaten recently and I don’t think they are anywhere near ready to go back to L.A. Well…I am sure Abby is counting her lucky stars that Maddie wasn’t dancing this week since even with Maddie, the CADC probably would have won.

    Oh, and spoilers aside, with Abby saying that Nia isn’t getting any solos for a good long time, if she danced a solo and won in the actual performance from next week, I don’t think there is any way that Lifetime will include it in the show. We have to have at least more than 2 weeks of Nia being punished for not placing in an impossible situation. Once again, we will see.

    I am really hoping that Abby will wake up and start challenging Mackenzie to do more than acro and that she will quit with squelching her spirit. I am sure it’s tough enough just having to live with Maddie every day and dealing with her being Mom’s favorite as well as Abby’s without having Abby rub her nose in it week after week.

    I am glad that JoJo did well, but don’t think that she is more talented than Mackenzie. I think that she will continue to do well as long as she ‘stays hungry’ and keeps relishing her place instead of becoming hardened by all the abuse. I am glad, too, that they have backed off on all the Holly drama, although I have a feeling that being back in L.A. will have all the drama ‘behind my back’ starting up again for Abby. I hope that Nia has the sense to tell Abby that she is going to record again and make a video, or as before, things will hit the fan and be strewn over Nia for the rest of the season.

    • Agreed Katheryn!

      I think, and I feel a lot of us do know that Abby usually has it in her head who she wants to win. I do think Jojo did better than Mack in these solos but mainly because Jojo’s solo was Jojo’s strongest style, a hip-hoppish fast jazz in-your-face kinda style. And although Mack rocks at Acro…she’s in the double digits and in a higher division, she requires something either something with even more crazier tricks like (Brooke’s solo garden of eden, it had everything but the kitchen sink) more technique (like an old Kendall or Maddie solo) or more shock performance (a Nia or Jojo styled dance) but with this stuff she’s giving her, she’s too old for it. She needs something to challenge her, I think that’s why she said she loved her “I gotta get you outta my system” bluesy number the most cuz it was different and a bit more mature than she’s used too, but Abby feels like if you don’t place first with it then it must be crap but it’s not the case, they’re just not used to it so it might take more than one number for them to get the hang of it, sorta her fault since they’re specially LYRICALLY trained and other styles don’t come as easy. But I got off track, my point is, she knows who she wants to win…that’s why when it’s Maddie and Kalani she gives Kalani a ACRO lyrical dance instead of just lyrical like Maddie, or that one time with the one time she gave Chloe hip-hop and Maddie tap and we know she excels t tap, or Kendall lyrical and Nia ethnic…it’s who abby wants. If she really wants a level playing field next season to see who’s well rounded, she should give each girl the same dance in a different style and see who places, I bet the results would shock her, OR, make every girl do a dance that’s NOT their best style!

  8. I think a lot of last night was recycled film. That entire “next week we go to L.A, with holly in that hat,,, i just know i’ve seen that before.

    I want miller to see a psychiatrist because she cannot talk to adults. Even if the adult is not screaming but simply trying to hold a conversation, miller explodes. And she always goes after the child. This needs to be addressed.

    She ran instead of either ignoring Cathy, or just walking away. She had to go after the child. This behavior is a problem and somebody needs to do something.

    I think this has gone on much too long, and way too far. I no longer dislike miller. I fear her. It seems like it is a matter of time before she physically attacks a child.

  9. Mrs. Acken, I wish. I’m nowhere near as humorous. I’m still in high school, lol. I’m fifteen and don’t even have my driver’s permit. xD Like, it’d be awesome- but I am no you, I’m a newbie. It’d be a step down for the blog to hire me.

        • Oh, well thank you!
          I am a writer actually, I have my own blog. During my spare time when I’m not acting, singing, or studying for my classes- I write.

          • Soooooo what you’re saying is you want to be the heir apparent for the Dance Moms blog when I once again decide I can take no more? Right? Riiiight? 🙂

  10. First reactions to last night’s DM episode – makeup MORE RED lips, how could Jojo dance in that crazy costume, Nia’s best support is Addy?, Mackenzie who? The opening pyramid gave us the insight into this was the episode that everyone switched roles. Holly had Jill’s hat, Jill (sorry J) had Abby’s old Moo Moo dress, and Jessalyn looked like someone from a Star Wars costume convention.

    Was it me or were all the dancers full of makeup last night. And was it bright RED lipstick night? I loved the CADC group costume, while the ALDC looked like a bargain basement collection. I really, really hated the RED shoes and all the dancers having the same shoe. Let’s stay in character and have each dancer have their own shoe.

    How about the switch in attitude from Cathy’s team about Nia’ skills. They left Kendall and targeted Nia. Abby on the other hand went for the backhanded compliment about Nia’s use of her upper body strength versus sloppy legs and feet. I have noticed a confidence growth in Nia. She has been doing great in the group dances the last several weeks. Her style strengths do not score well in the solo dances, but she has always been an entertainer. And I do appreciate Holly not being placed in the argumentative mother role.

    I was with Abby on her treatment of Mackenzie. With Maddie away this was the week to push Kenzie. It’s time to leave the little kids dance level, being the baby of the team, and so on. It’s time to be the dancer that Kenzie wants to be. It’s a turning point both physically and mentally for her. It’s time to stand (or fall) on her own skills. I think K is up to the challenge and NOW the pressure is on Abby to up the level of chorography she gives to K.

    In watching Mackenzie’s dance I could not help but notice how much muscle she has added to her frame. She appears to be very strong, very athletic, and in control when doing handstands etc. She needs to work on her facial expressions and her fluid movements she uses during her dance. That seems to be the wow (fancy) that is unfulfilled. She did the dance!

    I think Jojo has now added dancing to her performances. In the group dances she is keeping up and her timing is better. I love her spirit and the focus that she has. I actually felt sorry for her as we watched all the other girls supporting Mack Z. I don’t recall anyone talking with Jojo. This after the episode were the girls gave positives and negative feedback to Jojo. (Side note: Kenzie fell back to the “Jojo had 6 solos to my 2” excuse. Be ready when you opportunity comes knocking.) I love Jojo’s strength moves, and her turns in the dance. Hated the costumes. She deserved to win.

    Who did the choreography for the group dance? I nearly fell off my chair as the choreography actually gave each dancer the opportunity to be center (great job Nia) stage. Usually we put Maddie, Kalani, or Kendall in the front with Kenzie doing the acro highlight flips. With Nia and Jojo in the back. This was a real team effort. I was distracted by the music. I guess they could use the Bang, Bang Beat Of My Heart Song, which would have been great. It came down to the judges’ choice and it wasn’t ALDC week.

  11. “Weird localized measles costumes”…Bwahahaha! And “Liza wobbles after Abby…” teehee! Always many LOL’s in your recaps, Lori! BTW, how does one get one’s ears pinned back, anyway? Not sure how that works. Abby said it’s no big deal. Is there any way Abby can get her vicious attitude pinned back???

  12. Look, I feel horrible for the poor girl being embarrassed on TV about her ears. BUT…have you never ever EVER watched the show, Chloe’s Mom and Cathy? Did you really think that you would going to waltz in there to rub a loss in Abby’s face, and she WASN’T going to go after that kid’s ears?

    I’m glad to see the ALDC moms were being nice to her, but c’mon. Seriously. You poked a mean, nasty, rude bear who has never shown any remorse about going after a child’s appearance. This should *not* have been a surprise to you.

    That said, I thought both dances were awesome, but I’m a little surprised about how not together the Candy Apples were. They did an Abby dance, but the girls didn’t have the perfect flow that the ALDC girls have.

    • Yup, I agree. Although CADC’s group was an “Abby dance”, their technique was a thousand times better than the other group, and that’s why they won, technique trumps everything to the judges.

      • I hope Cathy realizes that she was set up to win this week. Whether it was Abby furthering her “We can only win with Maddie” agenda, or the producers needing a win by Cathy to portray her as a worthy adversary, or both, there’s no way that I could see Abby’s group dance winning this week. And poor Kenzie was set up to lose to Jo-Jo, also, IMHO.

  13. I noticed something last night while I was watching MacKenzie’s solo; you know how the adjudicator a couple weeks ago said that Maddie didn’t always finish her movements before going on to the next one? Kenzie does the same thing, only with her, it’s like she can’t keep up with the music and is rushing. I bet that’s one of the reasons why Abby prefers giving Maddie lyrical solos, the music is slow enough that there’s lots of filler time to move from one step to the next so it isn’t as obvious that she isn’t finishing, if that makes sense. Kenzie has done this the entire time, her tricks are bang bang bang, one right after the other, and none of them really “finish” properly. It was cute when she was little, all she’d have to do is shake her butt, make duck faces and look adorable, but really, her timing and technique wasn’t that great. I mean, she’s improved tons, and for the most part is able to keep up with the older girls, but still seems to be a beat behind when the music is faster.

    I didn’t mind the ALDC group number, I wasn’t a Spice Girls fan so I didn’t really get the characters or what they were supposed to be like, but it was fun to watch. I’m not surprised at all though that CADC beat them by such a large margin, technically they were just better, nothing more than that.

    Jojo’s solo was great, but yeah, she does remind me as well of Asia, with the facials and sassiness. All that is good, but if you don’t have the technique to back it up, the judges don’t care. Good for Jo for pulling off a win, she needed it this week. And she made an adorable Baby Spice to boot.

    Just when I thought Abby was going to take the high road and not stoop to Cathy’s level of nastiness, she disappoints me again with that ears comment to that little girl Chloe. I seriously wonder what Maryen Loraine would say to her daughter if she could hear the things she says…..I bet even Broadway Baby is hiding her face in her paws in embarrassment. Good for the other moms for comforting Chloe, they won back a teeny bit of my respect, but not much.

  14. Wonderful recap Mrs. Acken, it’s always great actually!

    Jojo’s solo was pretty good. Her turns are to die for when she actually thinks about the technique. The song sucked, to be perfectly honest. Mackenzie’s solo was wonderful, although that costume is absolutely awful. The music for that number was wonderful.

    Two fun facts. The first one, Jessalyn’s comment after Mackenzie’s dance is recycled. She said the same thing after Mackenzie performed Boom Boom in Episode 3. Same facials, same shirt Jess is wearing. Boom Boom- Lifetime recycled material!

    Secondly, CADC had a soloist they didn’t show. Her name is Kaycee Rice, one of the five girls on the team. Her solo was called Hot Stuff- and it was Hip-Hop. Video is on YouTube and it was badass. Seriously. She didn’t place in her division or the overalls which sounded like total crap.

    I actually loved the group number from ALDC. I’m literally a teenage boy who watches the show and I absolutely loved the #. My mother has introduced me to Spice Girl stuff… which I kinda enjoyed. Kendall was phenomenal. Kenzie had nothing holding her back. Kalani and Nia strutted like no tomorrow. Jojo was just being awesome Jojo. I watched the dance eight times in a row.

    CADC’s # was not shown in full potential, the full number was great. It was five points from a perfect 300, beating Abby’s # by like 9-12 points. I burns me when she says Maddie is the dancer that carries the group. They’ve lost before with her in the #- 3 times this season so far (Frozen Together, I’d Rather Be, Decadent Darlings) and many, many times in the past. I love Maddie, but shit- Abby crowing about how they ALWAYS win because of her is sickening when she knows she’s lying.

    Her comment towards that Chloe girl from CADC was heartless. Why didn’t she go after Cathy? Maybe it’s because the girl is called Chloe and Abby hates everyone like her, but I don’t know. It was nice that Jill, Melissa, and Holly at least realized what Abby said was rude.

    Next episode goes surprisingly well for the ALDC. I won’t spoil too much, but know that Kendall gets a lyrical solo called Waiting, Mackenzie gets her Jazz Acrobatic numbers and it’s called Take That. Nia takes the cake next week with a womanly, mature, beautiful, invigorating contemporary number called Never Knew. I don’t know if Lifetime will alter the placements or titles of the solos by any chance because they do that sometimes. Every solo places in their division, by the way- a happy note to think about.

    I loved the recap- I’ll say it a thousand times over. As long as you keep writing them, I’ll keep reading and commenting on them.

    • Wow Christian , for a teenage boy you write quite eloquently and agree with GK, very insightful! I, also, did a spoiler for the next episode after seeing Nia in the costume and I am WOW’d! Can’t wait for the Lori commentary and yours as well!

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About Lori Acken 1195 Articles
Lori just hasn't been the same since "thirtysomething" and "Northern Exposure" went off the air.