Tonight we coronated a new king and celebrate the ascension to the crown of a new royal family. They may be fake, but I still wanna wear their crowns, drink their wine and party in their excess. They’re like a Lorde song come to life! E’s first foray to scripted drama (although to me, the drama on Keeping Up With the Kardashians has seemed scripted since day 1) and this fictional fairy tale comes from the master if witty repartee, Mark Schwahn, who also created One Tree Hill.
In The Royals Episode 1, the heir to the British Throne, Prince Robert dies and thrusts his playboy brother, Prince Liam (William Moseley) into a spotlight for which he is ill-prepared. As his family grieves the death, King Simon (Vincent Regan) contemplates abolishing the Monarchy, to the dismay of Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley), who thrives on pomp and appearances. Party-girl Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park) uses drugs and partying to make the futility she feels toward her future — every moment of her life is dictated and scripted for her and she feels powerless everywhere but when she’s misbehaving.
We don’t need a blow-by-blow of the lavish hour’s events, but here are a few of the tastiest morsels.
Prince Liam without a shirt!!! I’d curtsey to that!
Actor William Moseley certainly has filled in since his days as Peter in The Chronicles of Narnia. In fact, when I asked Moseley if any of his acting roles have prepared him to play a prince, he said, “In Prince Caspian, when we all stand up against the ruins of Cair Paravel and we’re looking out, I remember that was a very royal, regal moment and I think I took a lot of that from me and put it into Liam. There’s a sense of loyalty and a sense of duty to your country and your people. That is something I feel, you’re a real patriot.”
Princess Eleanor jumping Jasper, her bodyguard. And Jasper, blackmailing her after he jumps her body. Can’t wait to see how this scandal plays out, but I have a feeling that Jasper is no match for Eleanor. She is — after all — her mother’s daughter.
Passion for Fashion
Everything Queen Helena wears is divine, but that fascinator she wore for Robert’s funeral was beyond amazing!
When I sat down with Liz, I asked her about dressing her character. Ever-fashionable Hurley definitely had a big say in what her queen would don. “We haven’t had a queen my age, the closest we would have got was had Princess Diana become Queen. And you know, towards the end of her life, she’s wearing dresses exactly like this one. She was head-to-toe Versace — as it happens — exactly as I am.
“I think it was important that she had a very modern, sleek look, because that’s what Diana would have worn if she was Queen. And, when Princess Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, becomes queen, she’ll wear fabulous dresses that we’ll all wish we could have. She will. It’s nonsense, I think it was ridiculous to dress the queen in a more middle-aged way, be cause she wouldn’t. If she were my age, she’d be wearing this dress. For sure.
“Helena could have worn anything— she could have worn Chanel suits, but I wanted to have, a very, very sleek line. I don’t like wearing sleeves when I act, it’s always really hot on set, it was very hot when were were shooting in the summers. I always like bare arms, because I can’t bear feeling constricted. The guys, of course, especially my husband, he had to be in full military kit for most of the show and we were scampering around in bare legs and for once, the girls were comfortable and the boys weren’t!”
Helena’s clothes are drool-worthy, but can we talk about the glimpse we caught of Elizabeth Hurley in sheer lingerie? Yowza!
Liz may be 50, but her body is still absolute perfection.
“Of course, I’m ready. I’m the queen of England…when am I not ready?” Queen Helena.
“Redic” and “Recoc” –Princesses Penelope and Maribel injecting much needed-shots of humor. Shakespeare would have approved of them as comic relief.
“Let me recap my week for you … My daughter’s vagina was on the cover of no less than 4 tabloids. My first-born child was killed. My husband announced he wants to abolish the only life I’ve ever known. And his footman nearly saw my snatch.” Queen Helena.
Queen Helena: “Richard the third had it right…Lock the kids in the tower and be done with them.”
Prince Liam: “Henry the 8th had it right, he just killed his wives … one of them because she looked fat.”
Queen Helena: “They always take the good ones.”
King Simon: “How are you Leni?”
Princess Eleanor: “I’m sad…but I’m baked out of my mind. So, right now, I’m well.”
King Simon to Prince Liam: “Choose Love, Choose your own path. Those are the roads to travel, my son.”
Quoteth the Bard
“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown,” from Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part II.
Totally TV Moment
Prince Robert, the next in line for the British Throne dies in a tragedy that is only revealed as “A military accident.” We don’t see him in the series, but I asked William Moseley what he imagined his fictitious brother would have look like. He revealed, “I imagine this tall, good looking, wispy, blonde hair, who’s a big guy. Sort of like a Disney Prince.”
King Simon and his fiendish brother Cyrus skulking through the English Countryside a-la Downton Abbey whilst they shoot at stuff (and in Cyrus’ case, at his brother).
Princess Eleanor pulling a Lindsay Lohan (or Paris Hilton or any celebutant circa 2006) and dancing on a table top sans knickers.
Princess Eleanor and royal cousins Princesses Penelope and Maribel getting high in the State Dining room!
Tears a flowing:
When King Simon and Princess Eleanor have some daddy-daughter bonding time over a pie, the king tells his troubled daughter: “Those qualities [that] you say make me great, I see them in you every day. Don’t medicate all that wonder.”
I hate to rip on kids, but the moment when a tyke was lifted over a gate to scamper into the waiting arms of a beleaguered King Simon was the episode’s worst. Didn’t they do a second take of that phony running? It looked like when someone “runs” without lifting their feet as they jaywalk in front of my car.
Um continuity? How many lengths was Prince Liam’s hair going to be in this episode? It was soooo long when he was talking with King Simon in front of the London Eye. And other times it was short and neat.
How did Ophelia’s mother Die?
How did Prince Robert Die?
What is Queen Helena’s backstory?
How Many times did you use Spotify in this episode? The soundtrack is amazeballs (Yes, you read that right. AMAZE. BALLS!)
What did you think of The Royals?
The Royals > E! Entertainment > Sundays at 10pm ET
All images © E! Entertinament