I’m not really sure what New Orleans means, and if the internet didn’t exist, I’d just assume it translated to “Bad Idea.” We’re still making bad choices in the Crescent City and I’m still amazed that a “last minute” trip is so well planned. *Ahem, Magic of TV* This week it’s all about Briana, and it’s about time she gets some attention.
Flash-back to last week’s episode, where Briana, Terra and Matt try to share details of their visit to visit to Zotan the psychic. Traci, Tonya, Christy and Erik are still convinced that psychics do the Devil’s work and flee when Briana tries to tell them about her experience. Christy decides, “I just don’t want to mess with the Devil when I’m trying to get pregnant.” True, nobody want’s Rosemary’s Baby.
Christy, Traci and Erik go into a room and pray together and we see a flicker of the friendship that Traci and Christy once had. Things get ever more lovey-dovey when Traci gives a heartfelt apology to her friend and they agree to put the past behind them. Suddenly, this trip isn’t such a terrible idea.
Briana is still bummed that everyone was pushing her around the night before and gets advice from Elena, who looks flawless as usual. I think the only time in this series that Elena hasn’t looked impeccable was when got her fat sucked out and then put back into her butt.
Todd calls Christy a hypocrite for not listening to Briana because Christy wishes on stars and according to him, it’s the same thing as listening to a friend talk about a psychic. Christy swings low and accuses Todd of still having feelings for Briana. Todd swings back saying “F@#$ you.” Yikes! Todd says that if Christy was Briana’s friend she would have listened to her experience even if she didn’t believe it.
Terra is excited. Joe, who is on tour, is driving 5 hours to come see the group. But… he wants to stay in a hotel to avoid seeing Todd. They still haven’t talked about their near-fight and I of course, can’t wait for Joe to arrive and I secretly hope that a fracas erupts (I hear the word fracas today and I’d been dying to use it) and someone ends up in the pool.
Tonya’s spidey-senses are tingling that Matt (whom she only refers to as “The new guy”) is shady.
And Joe arrives. Cue the tension.
Christy thinks that Matt is an alcoholic and confides in Todd. Todd says if she’s really Briana’s friend, she’d say something to her. Christy thinks it could ruin her friendship. I agree, Christy, telling your friend that her man is shady could definitely ruin things with your bestie.
That night they go to a bar and Tonya says the group should order the biggest hurricane possible so they can all share. Eew. Yard of hurricane = party. Fishbowl of hurricane = flu. The drink arrives and it is literally the same size as Briana and I’m pretty sur that it has more backwash in it than rum.
Terra’s maternal instincts say that Matt’s shady.
After boozing, they head to Preservation Hall for the coolest Jazz parade ever and then Matt takes Briana away to an intimate walk. Once she’s gone, Terra tells Christy that Joe isn’t ready to make up with Todd — which is so petty, but it’s Joe, and he’s petty like that.
Over on Matt and Briana’s romantic walk, Matt proposes and for once he’s semi-articulate. It’s sweet, but when Briana hesitates, it doesn’t bode well. Not only does her family not approve of Matt’s arrest record, but they haven’t met him and neither has cutie-patootie Leiana. And…cue commercial.
After an eternity of TV commercials, we’re back to Matt on his knee saying, “Girlfriend was an amazing status, but I’d much rather have you as my wife.” That is pretty sweet, and I almost shed a tear. Of course, Briana says yes. She’s hoped for love ever since her nasty break up with Leif, so many happy congratulations to her; she deserves it!
The next morning, Christy confronts Briana about her new man Matt and his excessive drinking. I know Christy has been sober for over 5 years, but being around that group would drive me to drink twice what Matt’s guzzling. Briana also says that Matt drinks to cope with chronic pain, and if there’s a group of people who understand chronic pain, it’s little people.
Joe leaves to go back on the road and I think I head the group give a collective sigh of relief. I’m sure everyone was glad that Joe and Todd drama was averted, but I’m little sad that no one ended up in the pool. Before Joe leaves, he and Todd shake hands. But not only is Joe leaving, the rest of the guys are being kicked out of paradise and head back to LA.
At dinner, Briana reveals that she’s moving with Leiana. Editing doesn’t reveal where she’s moving to, so congrats, I guess? It turns into a grilling, and Briana decides to not reveal her engagement just yet. Christy is relieved that Briana is taking the relationship sloooowly. If I recall, she and Todd escalated things pretty quickly, he moved to L.A. in Season 1, episode 1 and in one season they got engaged, married, and now in season 2, they’re trying to get pregnant. So, basically, Christy is the pot.
Back at the house, the ladies dance atop the bar, but getting down is easier said than done.
The girl talk turns to sex and Traci teaches Briana a move called “the wheelbarrow.” FYI-turns out Elena and Preston are into doin’ it in crazy places, like elevators, the beach, movie theaters. Get your freak on, you freaks!
After taking a dip in the pool (Someone got into the pool, but it wasn’t due to fighting or drunken falling), Briana reveals her engagement to the gals and gets the least enthusiastic response in the history of the universe. Her joyful smile greeted by awkward silence. It’s really heartbreaking because Briana has been the first to share in everyone’s happiness (except for when she got sick and couldn’t go to Traci’s wedding. But she was there in spirit.) C’mon gals, fake it for your friend!