Recap: The Bachelor Women Tell All features cat fights and dolphin laughs

Oh, The Bachelor Women Tell All episode  – my favorite episode of the season. It’s about to be a girl fight.

Bachelor_Britt_webPoor Chris Harrison. I have never seen a cattier group of women on this show, and I can’t even imagine trying to manage all the crazy business going on there. I guess my mom was right: some people never grow up after high school.

Britt and Carly waste no time and begin to duke it out. Britt confronts Carly and the cat fight officially begins. In no time, several of the girls’ claws come out to attack Britt’s “authenticity,” as Jade put it. Britt becomes super defensive and visibly upset claiming that she was friends with all of the girls on the show, including the mega-bitch Carly.

We all know my feelings on Carly (total Carly-hater), and I guess others share my views. Jillian, the booty-shorts muscle-girl, comes to the defense of Britt and calls Carly out for being “jealous” of “the sweetest and most beautiful person” on the show (Britt) and said that Carly’s jealousy is “disgusting.” YOU TELL HER JILLIAN! Whatever Britt, forget the haters because Jillian and I love ya.

Britt and Chris Harrison share a special moment to discuss Britt’s love for Chris, and her crying face literally breaks my heart. I’m #stillteamBritt. She says she is still heartbroken and that she has “never felt something like that in my life.” When asked about her relationship with Chris. I just want to give my homie Britt a hug.

The_Bachelor_Women_Tell_All_Kelsey_webNext up to bat is Kelsey. I have never had such mixed feelings about a person in my life. I don’t know if Kelsey is actually genuine or if she is just a master manipulator — with her extensive use of “big words.” The girls call out Kelsey for being “condescending” and Ashley I. makes some of the ugliest faces known to man.

The girls also question Kelsey’s authenticity. Yeah, like all the girls on The Bachelor are soooo real (mhm Ashley I., dare I say more). Well, whatever, they all begin to unload on Kelsey’s life, including the death of her husband (or alleged husband according to Ashley I.), and things get pretty nasty.

Juelia, who also lost her husband, called Kelsey out for being extremely “calculated” and said that she “had never met someone so fake in my life.”

Some rando in the back chimes in and criticizes Kelsey for acquiring a pity rose after sharing her story with Chris and having a panic attack. Wow, do I hate it when the randos speak.

Only two girls come to the defense of Kelsey as she is attacked by a rabid pack of hyenas, Britt and Jillian. Jillian is scoring some serious last minutes points here on The Bachelor. She brings up a great point that “all people grieve in their own ways,” and that Kelsey not only has a right to move on, but also a right to recognize her love story with her late husband for the “amazing” story that it was.

The episode tonight really made me realize how terrible words can be misconstrued and the way that words, directly and indirectly spoken, can really tarnish how others view a person. So yes, The Bachelor teaches me everything I need to know about everything.

Bachelor_Ashley_S_webNext, the moment I have been waiting for: Ashley S., the crazy one, is back! AND, she now grows onions. OMG Ashley S. is so freakin’ funny. Seriously, she needs her own dang show – gotta appreciate crazy.

Hands down the best part of the night was when Ashley described how she was “bored” in the house and decided to explore, only to stumble upon the accounting office and then believe the accountants were really just betting on the outcome of the show. Ohhkay…

Chris Harrison then invites Ashley S. to join The Bachelor in Paradise cast; she responds with “isn’t this weird that we’re on TV?” So maybe she’ll show up.

Bachelor_Jade_webJade then enters the hot-seat. She really focuses on the hurt she felt while reading Chris’ People blog where he said he was “disturbed” with the different sides (all the sides) he saw of Jade during her hometown date. I really feel for Jade because, like everyone else on the planet, she made a huge mistake, albeit a super bad one (don’t pose for Playboy kids!), but she was open about it and Chris kind of shot her down for it.

Kaitlyn is up next and she discusses her pure shock while getting sent home. She said she has “never gone into a rose ceremony more confident,” and for her to be struck down so suddenly was devastating. Over the course of the season, I have really grown to like Kaitlyn, and seeing her after she had let her guard down only to be sent home really sucked. I like that funky Canadian chick, but I think we will be seeing more of her. Potential Bachelorette? I think yes!

Bachelor_Chris_webThen, they call out Prince Farming to talk it out with some of the ladies:

Britt and Chris come to a quick consensus that things just didn’t work out, but the two had a very strong instantaneous connection.

Kaitlyn and Chris discuss Chris’ decision to not pull Kaitlyn aside before sending her home. Chris sums it up perfectly in saying, “I’ve only been the Bachelor once,” meaning he just didn’t know how to handle that situation. Who could argue with that?

Jade and Chris have a heartfelt chat about the way things ended, and Chris clarifies that he really saw the whole Playboy thing as something that “caught him off guard,” rather than something along the lines of “disturbing.”

Chris manages the hot-seat well and provides some closure to the recent castaways of the show.

The bloopers were bloopers, but OMG when the dolphin was put on screen to be compared to Chris’ laugh, I just about died. He is a total dolphin-laugher.

Cats and dolphins, the Women Tell All episode looks more like a zoo in that wild episode.