This episode may be titled “Into the Woods,” but I’d call it, “Camping is Terrible” or “The Sh!tstorm.”
Lila is still around. And I love that someone has brought fresh drama to LA. Drama sucks to live through, but is very entertaining to watch.
Terra and Joe decide to take everyone to Catalina Island, But psyche! Because Joe isn’t actually going, he booked a commercial and can’t go. This is the first time that everyone is getting together since Todd and Erik (and kinda Joe) got into a fight.
You know what’s a good idea? Getting on a boat with your mortal enemy! This trip is such a fantastic idea. Also because in the season 2 premiere, we saw how much fun boats are for little people. Actually, boats are not fun for most people. I frequently feed the fish when I am on the ocean. I grew up on a lake, and my brain can’t adjust to he waves. Barfaroo.
Lila is still around, and she’s still a lightning rod. But of course she is, because she’s Christy’s friend. And Christy is a human lightning rod herself (aka TV Gold).
Lila is hilariously kinky; she’s packing her vibrator for the trip to Catalina island. Because why not? I guess if she can’t get drunk, she can get a “buzz” in other ways. Traci hits the nail on the head when she calls Lila “an acquired taste. Terra decides that on the boat is a good time to reveal that the trip is camping. The universal comment from the rest of the ladies is “Oh, Hell no.”
If I was camping, I would need massive quantities of alcohol, and thankfully, someone brought some. The stress of the trip is especially tough for Lila who is new to sobriety and missing the numbness that booze provides. Fortunately, her buddy Christy is there to offer support. The entire night Traci looks pissed to be there, and for a second I wondered why, but then I remember in season 1, she was excited to be getting married at her country club. Her Country Club. So, that’s why she hates to camp. Unless the camping ends up at The Beverly Hills Hotel, like in the movie, Troop Beverly Hills. I feel, ya girl. No me gusta ir de camping. Not sure why I broke into Spanish right there, perhaps because they’re on Catalina Island? Or also perhaps the ginger beer I’m drinking.
The next day’s activity is Ziplining! Which is so much fun! The course on Catalina Island looks awesome to me but sounds like torture to timid Traci. But before the women take off on their next adventure, Preston and Briana’s boyfriend Matt, shows up. Terra is a little pissed because this is her party and she’ll pout if she wants to. But she gets over it because it’s a pretty sweet surprise that Christy planned for her friend and I am so glad that Briana friends and love in her life! After smooches, off they go! Todd is over the zipline weight limit and of course, Terra can’t zipline because she’s pregnant (and everyone else looks like they want to strangle her.) But Traci takes one look at the overly-zippy line (and Briana getting tossed like a ragdoll) and bails too.
But everyone else who ziplines look like they’re having a fantastic time.
While the zipliners zip and the non zipliners meet them at the bottom of the hill, Todd apologizes to Terra and Traci for his part in last episode’s fight. Last episode’s CRAZY fight. Later, when he tells Christy that he and Terra made amends, she freaks out at him. I’m not sure why Christy can’t let her husband say he’s “sorry” and move on. I know Christy loves her frenemy drama (and I love her for that), but be like Queen Elsa and “Let it go.”
Before we get to dinner, Preston has to leave. I think he was on Catalina Island for maybe 8 hours. He must have sensed that a storm was a-brewing.
Have you ever been at a nice dinner and a whole lotta craziness broke out? Well, for some unsuspecting people at The Avalon Grille, that’s exactly what happened.
And the craziness wasn’t the screaming, yelling, people jumping on each other kind of fight, it was the kind of fight where people Whisper-yell, which is find when you’re an adult trying to threaten your kid during church, but totally weird when adults do it in a nice restaurant. I mean, if you’re going to be classless and fight in public, at lest be loud about it so the people whose meal you’re disturbing can live-tweet it.
I will let you guess who the fighting was between…3…2…1. If you guessed that the fight was between Lil and everyone, you’re right. It’s fitting that she leaves LA the next day because she’s throwing insults like a tornado and she’s going leave a wide swath of destruction in her wake. I guess she wasn’t yelling at Christy, Todd, Briana, or her man, Matt, but she was yelling at everyone else.
What’s weird, is the fight started with an apology. Christy apologized to Terra for her past transgressions. Terra doesn’t accept her apology. Then Traci jumps in and I’m like, “Why, Traci? you should be in your happy place. There is plumbing, and electricity, don’t mess this up and the restaurant may let you stay!” And Lila senses an opportunity to talk and jumped in and then the random yelling, and finger pointing (Which these ladies despise) and insults started. First she’d yell at Terra because she doesn’t want Joe anymore, but she actually does, then she’s yelling at Tonya because Tonya love to be in the middle of all things crazy, and then, for no reason at all, Lila started yelling at Elena, who was like, “WTF, what are you fighting with me? I was on your side.” The horrified look on Matt’s face throughout the entire scene is priceless.
The night ended up being one of history’s least comfortable meals, but the most entertaining TV fights I’ve seen since last week, when there was an actual fight on Little Women: LA.
I’m sad to see Lila go, she’s a whole other kind of crazy – New York crazy.