In which Ryan Berenz (11 years into Marriage No. 1, two preschool boys) and Lori Acken (nine years into Marriage No. 2, four grown kids) debate a few quagmires revealed in Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Episode 2 “Rule 174: Never Trust Anyone Who Charges By the Hour.”
Never read the comments?
Ryan: If you’re a celebrity or public figure, NEVER read the comments. They will make you weep for humanity. But if you’re a chump in an office blogging about a TV show, the comments give you reason to keep on keeping on.
Lori: I can’t even handle the comments on my own Facebook page — which are supposed to be offered up by my friends — never mind blog comments from strangers. If you are famous, you should pay people to read the comments for you and only tell you the good ones. No, this is not a good way to grow as a human being. But it’s just the comments.
• RELATED: We talk with Lisa Edelstein and Marti Noxon of Bravo’s Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce!
“In the span of human history, how long has a woman been allowed to have more power than a man?”
Ryan: Longer than most people think. Depends on your definition of power, but the way I see it, men have done some incredibly stupid things over women and their desire for them. Some of the world’s most powerful men have been undone by women. Women have been able to make idiots of men for millennia. That’s power, ladies. Use it wisely.
Lori: Oh spare me, Ryan — that kind of “power” does not keep the power on. Delia nailed it. It’s been a moment. And a confusing one. Yes, it feels swell to be the breadwinner and to support yourself — and sometimes your entire family — on your own, but it’s even easier to buy into the suggestion that we’re selling ourselves short in the wife-mother-woman department in doing so. Repeat after me: “It’s good to be a man.” What you do about your hormones is your own deal, sirs.
Is 27 Dresses a classic?
Ryan: 27 Dresses is a classic in the sense that it stands as the archetype of shallow, pointless rom coms. Maybe that’s why millennials like it. I learned recently that millennials love the 1993 Bette Midler movie Hocus Pocus. You kids are out of your damn-fool minds, and it’s probably the reason none of you can find work.
Lori: What is 27 Dresses? Besides my dream closet? Oh. Katherine Heigl. Bridesmaid dresses. God, I hate bridesmaid dresses. I hated my own bridesmaid dresses … what were we talking about, again?
Was it wise for Madonna to choose ass over face?
Ryan: I think so. The people who still go to her shows and buy her music would probably agree. Me, personally, I will just longingly fantasize about her navel in the “Lucky Star” video.
Lori: Again, repeat after me: “It’s good to be a man.”
Is it ever acceptable to buy any of this crap?
Ryan: Yes, if you like to advertise the fact that you are an asshole.
Lori: Aw!!! <click> Awww!!!! <click> Awwwww!!! <click> …
New episodes of Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce air Tuesdays at 10/9CT on Bravo.
