ooooh, Naked and Afraid Brazil!!!
When I think of Brazil, I think of rainforests. But tonight’s Naked and Afraid ventures to an ecosystem that I had no idea existed. Let’s dive right into the Season 3 finale, and meet this week’s survivalists.
24 years old from Portland, Oregon
Occupation: Blacksmith, Primitive skills instructor
Survival Skills: Plant identification, fire making, shelter building, tracking, and traps.
Matt developed a passion for the outdoors at a young age. As a teenager, he adopted a vegan diet and honed his primitive camping skills while camping near the Florida Everglades with an environmental activism group. Matt moved to Portland, Oregon, and began teaching outdoor education to youths and adults. He currently teaches blacksmithing while pursuing a degree in Urban Studies with the goal of becoming mayor of Portland.
28 year-old from Eastern Sierras, California
Occupation: certified massage therapist, herbalist, and college student
Survival Skills: Plant identification, cultivation, and weaving; Primitive fishing and hunting techniques; Building shelters; Land and water navigation; Water sourcing.
Honora is an outdoor enthusiast and athlete and modeled for her third “Stone Nudes” calendar. When adventuring throughout the mountains, she often collects natural plant materials for her herbal body product business.
3 days before her insertion, Honora tells the camera of her dad’s recent death and how Naked and Afraid was her last connection to and the topic of her last conversation with her father before his death.
Matt is a recovering drug addict who has taught primitive skills for a long time. He’s looking to put his skills to the test.
Matt is a big guy. He loves being naked and likes to ride his bike naked. If he ever asks to borrow my bicycle, I prefer that Matt wears pants.
Honora is worried that her partner can’t keep up with her stamina.
Each survivalist brought a survival item. Matt brought a machete that he made (he’s a blacksmith)
Honora brought a magnifying glass. Because there’s sleuthing to be done.
How are their feet not burning? I’ve walked across the beach on a hot day and it is toasty! Oh, it’s because a chyron just revealed that the weather is in the 60’s. Their insertion must have been later in the day so their don’t fry their feet from the get-go.
The sun sets quickly, and once the sun sets, it gets child and windy.
Honora boasts that she’s going to sleep like a baby. But later, after sand fleas are eating her, she realizes how wrong she is, “I’m definitely no sleeping like a baby… Waaaaaah.” And she reveals a pretty clever tattoo of a tear on the inside of her finger. Hilar.
Honora wishes that she could cut off Matt’s love handles and put them on her own hips because she is cold. And rude.
Before they began their adventure, Matt and Honora were assigned a Primitive Survival Rating (PSR)
Matt- 7.1, Honora 7.6
Matt is a Vegan and isn’t going to eat the ants that Honora offers him.
While Honora tries to use UV rays to purify water, Matt works on their shelter. His strategy is to keep out of the shelter and he’s already sunburned.
Matt looks over and sees Honora lying in the blistering sun. She was actually passed out waiting for the water to purify. She basically lies in the sun all say and gets so sunburned that her nipple is blistered. While she was tanning, Matt builds the shelter and finds fruit.
Matt catches the world’s biggest locust. Huge!!! He gives it to his partner and she cooks it with her magnifying glass. She says it tastes like chicken, and I’ll take her word for it. Nasty locusts will never be on my menu.
The next few days, Matt and Honora basically cuddle in their shelter. Honora says she doesn’t like Matt’s privates being so close to her privates and that his smell makes her gag. Geez Honora, tell us how you really feel! I’m sure you smell April fresh after eating a locust and frying in the sun without a bar of soap or a toothbrush.
Matt and Honora are hungry and Honora is bitchy. Matt is avoiding the sun and she thinks he’s lazy. She makes some low blows and tells Matt that he’s the “fat kid” and tells him, “You smell, you’re stupid and you’re lazy.” What a loony bitch!
Honora decides to divvy up the building materials and move her camp. Matt, “this is totally like a divorce.”
A massive storm arrives and since neither really has much of a shelter, Honora freezes, shivers and whines all night.
It’s still raining…
Matt is so calm. This isn’t really fazing him, his personality is pretty stoic. Honora’s cries emit from a quivering pile of palm fronds. I wonder how her tear tattoo is feeling…
The rain stops.
Matt is digging a giant hole. Matt wants to prove to his students that he can succeed. Honora has brought her magnifying glass because her deceased father taught her to use it when she was a child. Too bad he didn’t teach her manners.
Honora searches for food. And she keeps bagging on Matt by calling him lazy. But she hasn’t eaten in days. Matt however, enjoys cactus every day.
Honors wanders aimlessly in the sun in search of food.
Honora is despondent and lightheaded. She’s lying in the sand boo-hooing about the nutrients she needs: “I need salt, I need sugar. I need Potassium and Magnesium. “ Waaah (but where is her ironic tattoo now?)
Melodramatic Honora begs the universe for help. She crawls through a pond and finds a coconut. She weeps from joy. And borrows Matt’s machete to open it. Matt could have been a jerk and not allowed her to use the machete, but Matt isn’t a jerk.
Honora decides to apologize to Matt. Matt forgives her. And she gives him a hug.
Matt keeps hanging in his shade. I feel like he could live in this environment forever.
And hour later, Matt finds Honora lying unresponsive in the sun. He calls for a medic and they start and IV and medevac her unresponsive body to the hospital. She’s absolutely unconscious and thankfully a hospital isn’t far.
After getting IVs and nutrients (like potassium and magnesium), Honora spends 3 days in the hospital before being released. Even after leaving the hospital, her brain is incredibly slow. She sounds like she did some damage to her body and brain, and I wonder how long it took her to feel “normal” again?
Back to cool cat Matt in the Brazilian dunes. He’s still chilling, hanging, keeping mellow and surviving. He’s not thriving, but he’s not dead either.
The weather is over 10 degrees, and Matt is getting goofy to stave off boredom
“Day 72, I have learned to speak the language of the spiders.”
“Day 182 I no longer remember my human name.”
Matt faces a ridiculous extraction. He faces a mega-long hike over the dunes. Then he needs to wade three miles downriver to a helicopter zone.”
Nice-guy Matt brings Honor’s magnifying glass back to her.
The hike is of course through the hottest part of the day and I don’t think that Matt made any preparations to transport water with him. How will he survive?
Once Matt reaches the river (Which is nasty and stained red due to tannic acid) he is completely exhausted and I don’t think he stops to drink. As he walks, he mentions that his stomach is in excruciating pain, but he says it with the calmness of someone shooting the breeze. This guy is incredible! Eventually, the helicopter lands and he is relieved to hop aboard.
Over 16 days, Honora lost 18 pounds and her PSR fell from 7.6 out of 10 to 7.2
Over the 21 days, Matt lost 28 pounds and his PSR rose from 7.1 out of 10.0 to 7.7
Matt gave the magnifying glass back to Honora. She’s grateful to have the gift from her father back. Matt proves that he’s the nicest guy ever.
Like Naked And Afraid? Check out these recaps:
Season 3, Episode 1: Namibia, Episode 2: Andros Islands, Episode 3: Cambodia, Episode 4: Nicaragua, Episode 5: Argentina, Episode 6: Dominica, Episode 7: India, Episode 8: Nicaragua, Episode 9: Botswana
Season 2, Episode 1: Peru, Episode 2: Madagascar, Episode 3: Fiji, Episode 4: Belize, Episode 5: Malaysia, Episode 6: Bolivia
Polls, What survival Item Would you bring?, Who is your Favorite N&A Couple?
Other Fun Stuff: How to Apply & Casting Secrets