Are you as smitten with the girls of Little Women: LA as I am? I honestly think I could be friends with each of them. On to the continuing drama our favorite not-engaged but wedding-crazed lass, Christy.
Christy is presumptuously looking for her own engagement ring. She loves putting the cart before the horse. And the ring she has chosen is beautiful, but I think that an engagement ring shouldn’t be something you pick for yourself. If a man knows you well enough to marry you, he should know what ring you’d like.
Terra has invited the other women (except for beauty Elena) to be in a sexy 50’s pinup shoot. Terra is jealous of Elena, but let’s be honest. I’m jealous of Elena’s beauty, you’re jealous of Elena’s beauty, 99.9% of the world is jealous of Elena’s beauty. The other .1% is Angelina Jolie and Paris Hilton or living in a Yurt in remote Alaska. And even Angelina Jolie would probably find Elena beautiful, so we’re left with folks in Yurts. And who cares what they think anyway?
On to shopping. This is what I was wondering about last week!! Thank you TV gods for hearing my questions. Where do little people find shoes? Let’s find out, shall we?
There is one store in the U.S. that sells heels for little people. And fortunately, it’s near LA where these women live. I bet that shoe store does a pretty strong online business too. Briana is so adorable wanting to add 4 inches to her tiny 3’8” frame.
Elena is upset that she wasn’t invited to participate in the photo shoot, but decides that she’s going to go out for drinks with the ladies anyway. Because why the hell not? She has a new dress and now, new shoes!
Tonya and Terra pump iron in preparation for the upcoming photo shoot. (in matching hats). Terra per usual is rocking fierce workout pants. I’ve heard that she’s doing to be debuting a fashion line, are these pants going to be a part?
Later, the ladies meet to try on clothes for their sexy pin up photo-shoot. The retro clothing store they’re at is amazing full of cute stuff. Terra talks about how everything they buy needs to be chopped in half to fit.
While Tanya is ribbing Christy about going ring shopping without her boyfriend, Traci butts in with “So, we set a date!” for her nuptials to fiancé Erik. Hold on Traci, don’t be catty, let Christy have her moment of imagination. So it becomes a war of words. Soon, Christi gives us this amazing Christy-ism, “Opinions are like butts. They all stink.” And then this face happens …
Thank you retro shop employee! Christy is amazing in her ability to go from smiling to screaming in one edited-for-TV moment. So much screeching and clawing! Why the bad blood between these former BFFs and the fight to the alter? Patience, my pretties.
Little people fashion show! A lot of the dresses the women are trying on are beautiful, but not very pinup. Traci’s sweet pocket dress was perfect, but Christy called her the 40 year old virgin in it. Lay off C-lady, that dress was tres adorbs! (but Traci was cute in a tight blue dress too, but as far as pin-up looks go, the pockets were perfect.)
Speaking of altar, it’s time to head to the tailor to get the gang’s pretty duds altered. Like that? Altar vs. alter? Hilar. I wonder if there are and young designers who are considering designing for women of small stature? He or She could be the Sondra Celli (the gypsy wedding dress designer of TLC’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding) of the little people world and make mega $$$. Who doesn’t want well-fitting pants?
Tonya wants Christi to mend her relationship with Traci. Good idea, Tonya. The wedding fighting is so strange. Be happy for your friends, not competitive. Smart Christy calls Terra out on her exclusion of Elena. Tonya, Christy and Terra discuss some of the cruelty that they faced growing up as little people. They were stuffed into garbage cans and lockers, teased and tormented and can’t imagine that Elena faced similar peril in Russia. How little they know.
That night, Elena feels homesick and Skypes with her mom in Russia. Who doesn’t love a Momma?
Traci and Christy get together for lunch. As a mark of truce, Traci gives her a bunch of bridal magazines, which is a cute gesture. But Traci doesn’t like it at all, in a confessional interview, calls Christy annoying. The wedge in Christy and Traci’s relationship is Christy’s past fight with alcoholism. And while she’s been sober for 4 years, Traci isn’t ready to look past her prior transgressions. Alcoholism can ruin friendships and families and little people aren’t immune. Maybe Traci needs to forget the person that Christi was, and celebrate the loud weirdo that she is today.
Christy crashed man bocce time between Terra’s boyfriend Joe, Traci’s fiance Erik, her boyfriend Todd and another guy to tell him that she found the ring that she wants. And she mentioned to Erik that she and Traci were in a wedding race. Silly Christy, it’s hard to have a ring race when you don’t yet have a ring! Christy, I love ‘ya girl, but drive home before you drive your man away. Christy promises Todd that she won’t talk about their impending engagement anymore. Yeah, right.
The girls go out for drinks (Christy sipped a soda) and within seconds, the conversation turns to whether the girls prefer tall or short men. Christy (Being Christy) says that of course, you should want to be with Little people, little men are “hung” and makes a gross tripod gesture and does it over and over and over again. Yak, yak, hahaha, yak. Traci might puke into the nearest potted plant.
Tanya “I don’t want to date a man where my face is in his…area.” Christy is in the background yelling “crotch!”
Terra accuses Elena of not understanding the power of the “M” word because she didn’t grow up in America, where it was uttered in hatred as the other girls were pushed into lockers and stuffed into garbage cans. If the women thought that his was cruel treatment, Elena’s tale of growing up as a little person in Russia showed them that their troubles are insignificant considering the plight of little people around the world.
Elena tells the girls that she was hospitalized from age 5 to 7 and for that entire time, she was tied flat to a bed in an attempt to correct her bowed legs. Without the ability to walk or even sit upright, she was miserable and only got to see her mother once per week for 2 hours. When the treatment failed, her mother cried in devastation at her daughter’s plight, but Elena cried tears of happiness because she got to go home to her family. Terra experienced a major “Wanna get away? moment” and perhaps this will stop the jealousy between her and Elena. Because even though Elena is beautiful, her life hasn’t always been.
Traci gets a fun makeover for the photo shoot, but in the end, she doesn’t want to be around Christy, so she backs out of the photo shoot. Doh! Terra swallows her pride and calls Elena to apologize and begs her to join the pin-up shoot. Elena says that she can’t, that she has a family get together. Yikes.
Up next, Todd takes Christy out for a lovely dinner.. Christy is convinced that Todd is going to propose. He says, “now that we know that we love each other, I’ve got something I’d like to ask… (Christy can barely contain her excitement.) I want to get my Dad and Barb to come and visit, is that going to be a problem?” LOL!!! Christy’s face totally deflates. Todd, you get a million points for being so tricky. That totally gets Christy back for nagging you about becoming engaged.
The next day, the women arrive at the photo shoot looking cute. Brian’s adorable outfit is the most pin-up, but falls a little short of what I think of on classic pin-up images. As expected, photographer Jeromy (who spells their name this way?) is bummed that Terra has only 4 girls, but here’s his genius solution: add a standard poodle to the car, that won’t look idiotic, right?
Thankfully, Elena arrives looking like a bombshell straight off the side of a World War 2 bomber. She is breathtaking and honestly, her outfit is the only one I’d classify as “pin-up.” So beautiful. 5 women does look better, but let’s ditch the pooch, shall we? And maybe get Christy to smile. She has a pretty dress on, what’s there to be grumpy about?
Jeromy has a better idea. He asks Elena to repose across the hood of the car and the photo shoot becomes all about her. The other women become relegated to unfocused shapes in the background. Terra is seething.
The next day, The women check out the pictures from the shoot, they are pretty, but Elena stole the shoot. In the photos where Elena is the focus, the faces of the other women are so pissed. At least Christy is realistic about it, “In the world of Little People, Elena is a supermodel.” I don’t hear Christy complaining, she wasn’t even in the car at the time!
Later, Todd takes Christy to watch the sunset. And all she does is complain about being cold and having to pee. Thankfully, Todd ignores her whining and proposes. I’m a romantic at heart and I love watching people get proposed to; it never gets old for me. Sniff. Congrats kids, best of luck and now the race to the altar between Christy and Traci is officially on.
Next weeks promos look good. Elena is on a mission to learn about her form of Drarfism, Traci tries on wedding dresses, and there’s a major fight involving — you guessed it — Christy. That woman. I swear — TV gold.
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