Oh Snap, Tori’s finding her mama bear voice. Dean had better guard his loins!
This week’s preview clip had the yelling that I’ve been craving for a few weeks. I’ve been looking for Tori to stop playing the victim and be the hero of her own story. She needs her children to see her being strong and control. ‘Bout time, Mama. Let’s get to the episode, shall we?
While looking at another beautiful picture of Tori and Dean, Tori says she and Dean used to be the PDA couple.
“I opened my heart to Dean and I gave him everything.”
Dean’s been home from treatment for 6 days…
Cut back to last week when Dean hulked out when he found out that Tori and the kids were at a Christmas event while Dean was cheating… cue the head grabbing…
Tori says that Dean is acting like he’s OK, but that tonight he’ll be a wreck. Dr. encourages Dean to call his sponsor to help him through this struggle.
Dean (looking into the camera) “I want to live.”
The producers check with Dr. Wexler to make sure Dean is OK to continue filming. (Conveniently allowing Tori time to speak with a producer because where did Dean disappear to?)
Tori wasn’t anticipating Dean’s reaction to the cameras recording his drama. I know this show is called True Tori, but Dean is a co-exec producer. You did know he would be there, right? If you didn’t want him around, you should have shot the show during any part of his stint in rehab, rather than starting three days before he came home.
Dean has upped his wardrobe from flannel shirts to solid colored V-neck shirts. His face still looks like a grizzly bear.
While Dean attends a meeting, Tori’s “gay husband” Mehran comes over to give her advice. Do any of Tori’s friends have jobs? They seem to be at her beck and call.
I’m just noticing this, but Tori’s house has some pretty tacky furniture. I know its catty, but a mirrored bedside table with a heavy wooden dresser? Yuck.
While driving around, Dean gets a call that Chopped Canada has been renewed for another season and Dean needs to travel to Toronto for 2 months.
Dean calls his friend Wolf, for advice. Dean knows that if he drinks or cheats, he’s through. Dean: “Man-up time.”
While setting up the Slip and Slide, Dean reveals to Tori that Chopped Canada was pickled up for Season 2. He found out 2 days ago. Dean is supposed to leave and start shooting May 8, the same week that Tori begins shooting Mystery Girls with Jennie Garth.
Dean says “Man Up” twice during their conversation.
Dean: “If I go, you’ll resent me?” Tori: “Yup, this is how the story goes.”
A producer asks, ”At this point, what is more important, your job or your family?” If Dean chooses his career, he may lose his family and if Dean chooses his family, he’ll loose his career.
After working, Tori comes home and learns that instead of going to school, Dean has taken Liam for a haircut. It’s about time Liam looked like a boy! So much easier to care for. We don’t get a look at the haircut
When Dean dumped Liam into the shower, Liam told Dean he hates him. (If my 7-year-old said he hated me, I would shave his head. And then cry for 5 days.) Dean starts yelling “I’m not trying to make this about me.” Actually Dean, you are trying to make this about you. And so much yelling! And so many large arm movements from Tori.
Dean runs outside because he’s mad. A producer scurries after him and dean unleashed this bombshell, “I don’t know, dude. I don’t think I want to be in this marriage anymore.” Ka-blam! Mind blown! Not really. No one wants Dean to be in this marriage anymore!
Tori and Dean return to therapy. Dean dresses up for the occasion in a brown sweatshirt. “We’ve always had bad things happen in Toronto.” Dr. Wexler “Are you afraid he’s going to cheat on you?”
Dean insists that he will never cheat again. And he claims that he no longer wants drugs or alcohol.
Dean: “She’s stronger than 10 men.”
Dr. Wexler: “But she’s not.”
Tori says she wants to be nurtured. Dean grew up with a sick mother and associates nurturing and taking care of someone with the unpleasantness of his mothers illness.
Dean is making a craft for Tori. Tori loves crafts (remember when Tori hosted that crafting show.) He is having a map framed with pins signifying important paces they’ve traveled.
Dean is also going to surprise Tori and the kids with two new bearded dragons. Yuck. So trashy. Dean actually asked Tori’s permission beforehand, Good think because if my husband came home with surprise lizards…
We finally get to see Liam’s haircut. Hey, he has Kate Gosslin’s stacked haircut circa 2006. Sweet! I always knew that haircut would look better on a boy. But yet again, Liam is shirtless. I’m only assuming he has clothes, because I haven’t seen him dressed in much.
Then Dean brings out the bearded dragons and the kids are beyond thrilled. “This little guy, he has something wrong with his right eye. And this little guy, his little foot’s kinda messed up. They’re healthy, but people returned them to the store.”
“Thanks Daddy for the used dragons.” is what my kids would have said.
Dean’s been home for 11 days so Tori goes and gets Reiki. Dean is already there.
Reiki weirdo, (about the affair): “Is it a bad thing that happened, or is it the best thing that happened?” Ummmm, not a good thing Scottish lassie.
Reiki is basically a massage where the therapist doesn’t massage you. Instead, her hands hovered just above Tori’s body, massaging nothing. Basically, this was an expensive nap. Then she tapped Tori’s hands.
Then wackadoo started tapping Dean’s hands, but the camera is behind her, so it looks like she’s fondling Dean’s manhood while they both chant “I’m going to get exposed.” Then she taps Dean on his face chest. So bizarre. I would much rather get a massage.
Dean makes Tori sushi. But that is sweet. Tori immediately gets a little defensive, “Why did you give me an oyster? Because it’s an aphrodisiac?” Dean: “No, I know you like oysters.”
Dean gives her a present. Massage oil. Tori reads the label: “Massage Glide Personal Lubricant?!?” Hahahaha! Fail for Dean.
But his map craft is cute, not a color palate that would ever appear in my house, but I’ve already mentioned some of the tacky furniture in Tori’s house, so the gold frame will fit right in.
Tori breaks down in tears. Tori: “You broke my heart. You humiliated me in front of the world.”
Dean: “I owe you a lifetime of apologies.”
Tori now feels she has a voice in the relationship. Tori says “voice” a lot. I’m confused. She does a lot of talking, I’ve never felt that Tori, as a media personality, was voiceless. In fact, her voice is heard in the media as often as the high nasal whine of a Kardashian.
Oooh, the tease for next week is epic! Lots of ugly crying!!!!! Can’t wait.