Dance Moms recap Season 4 episode 9: This Bites. Some More.

Hey Dance Moms nation! Did you know that everyone is replaceable on this team?! And also that no one is safe?! Have you heard? About a million freakin’ times??

I gotta hand it to whomever titles these bad boys, though. This one was actually officially called “Nothing’s Fair in Abbyville.” So at least we’re no longer pretending it is. Maybe next week’s can be called “Nothing Makes Sense in Abbyville” and the one after that “Nothing is Fun in Abbyville.”

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, people.

Anyway, we start out in LA where Abby and the Zeigler/Gisoni ladies are at “Recording Studio” “recording” Mackenzie’s first single. Abby — who is wearing a shirt mysteriously bedazzled with ama@inc on the front — says she must make sure that the child has the appropriate amount of energy when she sings. She demonstrates. I wish I could show you, but Lifetime’s moratorium on providing Dance Moms screeners is still firmly in place, so I’m going to have to improvise again. It actually did look a little something like this, only just from the waist up.

dance moms abby lee miller

Also, I know a bunch of you are big fans of Mackie’s singing but here is the truth: the kid can sing like your basic, not-tone-deaf kid and that is about it. I would dearly love to pretend otherwise. But that’s the truth. Energy, ama@inc, “recording studio” or otherwise.

Then Mack, Melissa and Abby fly back to Pittsburgh, while Maddie stays behind in LA “doing a job” and “tending to her own deal.” So sayeth Abby. This means she must find a replacement Maddie back in PA.

Let’s start with the pyramid.

NIa is bottom of the bottom. Her solo was bad. Plus, she cried. No and no.
Then Kendall. When Kalani dueted with Maddie, they won. When she dueted with Kendall, they lost.
But maybe it was Kalani’s fault, too. Because she’s next on the bottom.

Row 2 starts with Chloe. Her duet won, but her facial expressions were losers.
Then Mack. She was outstanding with that candy box.
Yes, says Christi, but Chloe was part of the winning duet and the winning group. Yes, says Abby, but she wasn’t outstanding with the candy box. One candy box trumps two winning dances in Abbyville.

This is the first image that comes up when you Google “outstanding with the candy box” — with the safe search on, mind you. I am not responsible for what happens to you if you search that with it off.

IASA-Candy-box-award-Luis-Borgo-10yrs-working-for-Invensys-appraisal-22072013-300x224

Congratulations to this guy for being outstanding the with the candy box, too. Or getting a candy box for being outstanding. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.

Maddie is top of the pyramid. Jill says that’ so predictable. Isn’t that sad, agrees Abby. I give Abby the last word on this one.

This week, we will be going to Masters of Dance Arts in Ft. Wayne. Abby says she has 7 consecutive group-dance wins in a row and she’s gunning for 8 with a routine called The Bite. Anyone who thinks that’s random after the Battle in the Bronx? Anyone?

Mack gets a jazz/gymnastic solo that at first I think is called Wreck, but is actually called Red.
Kalani gets a lyrical dance called Swan Solstice. The longest day of the swan? Whatever. It makes sense to Abby. This is what you get when you Google “Swan Solstice.” Also a nebula and a close-up of plums.

Swan sister 2

That’s very pretty, Amanda Clark. I award you a candy box in art.

Chloe gets a lyrical solo that I think Abby calls Heat, but I’m not sure.

Then Abby announces that we will be doing an improv competition to determine who takes Maddie’s place in the … I’m not sure what .. but anyway, the Moms will judge and they can’t pick their own kid.

After the first go-round, Jill picks Kendall anyway, then Kalani.

Kira picks Chloe.
Holly picks Chloe.
Melissa picks Kalani.
Christi picks Kendall.

Nia and Kenzie are ousted.

Kalani is eliminated in Round 2, because Nia and Kenzie get to vote, too.
It’s down to Chloe and Kendall.

Kendall takes it. Whatever the hell it is. The lead in the group, I guess. Time to practice the solos.

Upstairs in the Mom Loft, we half-heartedly discuss whether Abby will ever put Maddie up against Kendall. Then Christi’s phone rings.

Kelly calling!!! She invites Christi to catch up over lunch. Kira wants to come, too. Kelly says whatever, buttinsky, but allows it. Christi extends the invite to everyone.

Holly and Melissa flat-out call Kira weird for wanting to go, but Kira persists. Secretly (not so secretly) she just wants to come along make sure Kelly and the girls are not coming back. Oh, Kira. This really isn’t you.

Lunch will take place at D’Imperio’s, where hospitality has been an art since 1977 and they have a special menu for Homecoming and prom. Here is D’Imperio’s in the ’70s. I think you should still have to dress like this to go there.

Photo-Gallery~~element65

Kelly and Christi arrive first. An eerily somber Kelly says she doesn’t miss anything about the ALDC. Christi says she has never felt so alone. Kelly says with friends like Melissa, who needs enemies. Then the rest of the gang shows up. Kelly formally introduces herself to Kira, to make the point that the Kelly she met at the studio and in the Bronx is not the Kelly she’s getting here.

Then she tells the women that her girls haven’t said boo about coming back, and Holly tells us that it’s very clear that there’s no going back for Kelly, either.

Jill gets nosey about the charges and Kelly flat-out tells her that the only people who called to inquire about her and the girls’ well-being after they were pretty much sold up the river by the Dance Moms producers were Holly and Christi. Jill takes a sip of her drink and tries again. Kelly stares at her hard and tells her there is more going on than what went down in NYC.

Back in the studio, Maddie’s back but Abby says Kendall gets to keep her starring role and Maddie needs to be graceful about it. But then she walks it back. Christi notices that Kalani actually appears to be leading the dance.

Jill is indignant. “Abby you’re not even pretending to stand by your word and I think it is ridiculous,” she huffs.

Jill used to wear stuff like this. It was ridiculous, too. I miss those days.

dance moms jill

Abby says the Chloe vs. Kalani solo battle is intended to see who will lead the team when Maddie is not around. According to this, that should happen long about episode 16, when we get a whole raft of new dancers.

Then we talk about the possibility of a Maddie versus Kalani showdown. Melissa says she doesn’t believe anybody can beat Maddie with a solo. Sorry. But them’s the facts. Then we go back to fretting about who gets to bite the apple the most in the group dance.

All this talk about biting the apple makes me miss Rachelle Rak. It’s her signature move. Actually, she seemed to have a lot of them.

Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition finale bite the apple

dance-moms-season-3-episode-13-rak-walkover

dance-moms-season-3-episode-13-rak-ha

But, anyway, we didn’t know there even was an apple to bite until Maddie was holding it. Not. Fair.

Rehearsing her solo, Abby tells Mackenzie she has to start moving like a teenager if she wants to be a pop star. Melissa is more practical. She likes that the dance is more grown up because Kenzie’s going up an age group next year.

Plus, now Abby can chew Mackie a new one for every other move like she does the rest of the almost-teenagers, except her sister. So bonus!

Up in the Mom Loft, Kira rags on Abby a little, but only a little, to try to win the trust of the Pitt Crew. And speaking of Abby, here she is. She starts out by telling Melissa that she’s not sure Mack belongs in the group dance, but that’s just an excuse to gain admittance into the treehouse. She’s really here to chastise the group for going for a “lovey-dovey” lunch with her sworn enemy. Jill protests that it wasn’t all that lovey-dovey. But Abby says they’re stupid anyway. Traitors. People who are no longer members of the ALDC should not know what’s going on inside the ALDC. The first rule of Bite Club is you don’t talk about Bite Club.

So the moral of the story is they can stab her in the back all they want, but she’ll retaliate by taking their kid off the team. Nothing’s fair in Abbyville.

On the bus to Fort Wayne, Abby says she isn’t sure this group dance is a winner. And speaking of losers, she heard that Christi gave another dance parent a door-ding in the parking lot and instead of apologizing, she told them not to even think about suing her, because she doesn’t make any money. And that’s just ignorant. And if Christi doesn’t like her saying so, she can just get off the bus.

There is not a drinking game called Get Off the Bus, but there IS one called Ride the Bus. You can learn to play it here. Also, good God, Lifetime, please give me my screeners back. This having to Kerouac it is just plain weird.

After tormenting the various soloist before they perform, Abby climbs back on her soapbox with her whole “Whoever is not with me is against me” spiel — only less biblical — and reminds the mothers that Kelly is a cancer and a poison and you can either be Kelly’s friend or Abby’s client, but not both. And that’s a promise.

Chloe’s solo goes first. It’s pretty and expressive, but nothing terribly memorable. Still, Christi says it reminded her of the old Chloe.

Maddie coaches Kalani backstage before her solo, which highlights her ballet background, and, for those of us who watched Abby’s Ultimate, how much more mature she looks than when she was on AUDC. I’ll get past it, but she was such a leggy, dainty little filly not so long ago that this teenager-looking version is tripping me up a little. Abby emotes her head off in the crowd.

And must every friggin’ solo end with the dancers lying on the stage? Abby, for my sake, get a new capper.

Melissa makes sassy face in the audience during Mackenzie’s sassy solo. Then Mack’s hairpiece falls out, which we all know is the Kiss of Death in Abbyville. But at least she can’t blame this one on Christi.

Backstage, the mothers decide that everyone did really well, until Abby gets there to set them straight. Kalani was great. Chloe was good. Mackenzie was EMBARRASSING! Abby will not let her fail at music for the sake dance or fail at dance for the sake of music. Or fail at hair piece for the sake of drama.

Jill decides to fail at hush the hell up . She goes after Abby about what Kendall’s special part might be for winning the dance off. Abby fumbles around about showing up for class on time and being devoted to dance and then basically just flips her @#$% and says Kendall should open her damn mouth if she wants a special part.

The camera angles for the group dance are deeply hideous, catching a lot of empty stage space between dancers and giving no real sense of what the thing looked like as a whole. Hopefully they will post the full dance tomorrow, so we can see what it was really all about. And whether apple-biting responsibilities were shared equitably.

Come Awards time, Mackenzie, Kalani and the group dance win their divisions and Chloe gets second. The awards lady says Kalani’s and Chloe’s scores were very, very close.

Kira says Kalani’s skill level is far above Chloe’s and backstage, she tells Abby that it’s only fair that Maddie and Kalani go head to head. Abby looks like she’s speaking a foreign language and says it will never happen. Maddie’s been beaten and she knows it. But that’s not the point. The point is that Kalani is able to win every time Abby enters her in something.

That’s the same thing, Abby. Unless you mean every time you enter her something Maddie’s not a part of, too. Then it’s just weird.

Then she turns to Chloe and tells her she has earned the right to private lessons again and Christi protests that she has been taking them. Abby calls her Satan and flounces out.

Next week, Kira gets a special trip to NYC with Mommy!

So what say you, Dance Moms nation? Is it about time we get to see Maddie and Replacement Maddie go head to head? Are you surprised that the dancers weren’t dressed like Kelly for a dance called Bite Me? Would it have been a better dance if they had been? Should we just get on with introducing the new team already? Sounds off in the comments section below.

New episodes of Dance Moms air Tuesday nights at 9/8CT on Lifetime.

56 Comments

  1. I decided to stop watching this show too, it has gotten too cruel to the children. I watched from the beginning but the blatant favoritism and harsh treatment of all of the other girls is too annoying now. I miss when the girls actually looked happy sometimes and I miss the dancing. Oh well, will find a new show and hope these kids move to a new dance teacher and that ALM’s 15 minutes is over.

  2. How has nobody else not realized, some of these girls are tomorrows pole dancers? This kind of over the top abuse of little girls on a national stage in the pursuit of ratings borders on the criminal. Abby Miller is a psychopath! She injures without regret or seemingly a conscious. And the network is the enabler, and the forum for this abuse since without the cameras there isn’t a mom in the world except maybe one that raises her children to be molested that would allow this woman to threat her children the way this monster of a woman does. In the end my heart aches to see such talented, hard working little athletes reduced to terror by this vile excuse of a person Abby Lee Miller.

  3. ONE MORE THING…(I, soooo strongly apologize for the multiple posts but this show is just getting into that level of out-freakin-rageous!) Little Mack’s singing??? Kidzbop at best. and not that its horrible but I’m not wowed. This feels like Abby’s pushin Mack to just stick the knife in with Brooke.

    • That song does absolutely NOTHING for Mack’s voice. I’ve seen a couple videos of her (not just Cups, but another one as well) and she was amazing. If anyone has a future in music, it’s this kid.

  4. Also….did anyone else get a chill down their spine when Abby cackled after Christie told her that she did a good job of getting rid of Kelly??? I was like dang Abby…that’s cold.

  5. All of the blogs and recaps are saying the same thing as yours is saying. I have not read one positive blog, recap or comment concerning the episode and the show as a whole. There are several on-line petitions for Disney & Lifetime to either replace Abby or cancel the show. I did not realize that Disney owned half of Lifetime (Hearst Corporation owns the other half) and they are going to Disney with Disney’s creed of entertainment mainly nurturing, family friendly, kid environment. Jeff Collins may not do anything, but Disney may step in here as they of all companies would not want this baggage (or at least I assume they wouldn’t).

    In the previews for next week we see Abby getting right in Christie’s face – I am sure Kelly’s lawyer is happy about that! You know that they will use it in the lawsuit and assault case!

    You can find these petitions on-line by googling it – I am not sure if I can post the link here or not. Let’s hope that something changes very quickly!

    • Okay. If you are that offended by the show (which is understandable) write to the advertisers and tell them to drop it. Isnt that where the money comes from? If you want to be an activist against child abuse, do something in your community, volunteer, donate, write your legislators, whatever. If you live around Pittsburgh and are upset about Abby Lee Miller, try to do something locally. This will be more effective than ranting about celebrities on a television show where we don’t know how much is real and how much is acting, what the contracts say, or why the parents are doing this. I don’t think some online petition about this show will do anything nor do I care about any of these characters although I think all the adults behavior as portrayed is awful.

      • With all due respect normajean, these girls are not “characters”, they are very real, actual children who are being subjected to emotional, verbal and psychological abuse. Many of us who watch the show DO care about these girls, and even the mothers, otherwise we wouldn’t continue to watch and debate about what is going on. If that’s all you see, characters, then that’s fine, but some of us actually are concerned for these kids.

  6. Just imagine how much nicer the show could be, if they replaced miller. Keep the moms and girls, and replace that horrid woman.

    I feel so badly for little Mack. That hag is now turning her wrath onto little Mack. “Mack, be Brooke”. Mack, you have to sing better than Brooke”. That monstrosity of evil made little Mack cry. What is so sad is, now Mack has nobody to turn to. Mack adored Brooke and Brooke loved little Mack. It was always Brooke Mack went to, for comfort and for joy when she won. Now, miller is trying hard to force little Mack to not only be maddie and Brooke, but to force her to hate Brooke. What is melissa doing? Not a damned thing. At least the other girls have their moms to turn to. Little Mack has nobody. IMO melissa is one sorry excuse for a mother, and she won’t even step up and comfort that sweet little girl. It breaks my heart.

    Miller said she will never let maddie go up against Kalani. The mole flat out asked and miller said no and melissa was smug.

    Kalani comes from a very top notch studio, to be, there??? Now I wonder, did Kira go there with the specific intent of topping maddie? Clearly miller will never allow those two to go head to head. I am sick, just sick, of all this.

    • Kalani’s sittin’ in for a season for the exposure the way Asia did. There is no way on God’s green either she or Kira would stay there for the long haul. Trust me on this. No. Flippin’. Way.

      • Everyone says they will stop watching, the show is so terrible, but I bet they wont. Just like everybody runs to watch a fire, a building collapse, a traffic accident. The worse it is, the more people are interested.

  7. I love reading your recaps! Please do switch to another show! I can’t stomach Dance Moms anymore. Tried to watch yesterday and couldn’t get past first five minutes. I watched some old episodes from season one and two recently and couldn’t believe how terrible the show is now in comparison. It’s like it’s all about Abby’s ego. I can’t stand hearing her yell anymore; there’s a meanness there that wasn’t around during the first couple of seasons. To me, it seems like everyone on the show is miserable.

    • General consensus is I should switch to Kim of Queens, which sounds like a good bet for the next season if it is renewed. But I’m open to suggestions.

      • I <3 Kim of Queens. She is tough on the kids, but she does it in a way that makes it clear she wants her kids to win.

      • Got distracted and hit “post”…

        Wants her kids to win, BUT she wants them to genuinely grow as people, too. She doesn’t just want pretty robots. She wants pretty girls that also have brains.

        • I really like her too, I didn’t want to, thought it would be too “Toddlers and Tiaras”, but it’s a great show 🙂

      • There’s another new show coming up next week “Bring It”, about little kid cheerleaders. The coach seems a little wacko, but I’m reserving judgement until I watch the first episode lol.

  8. I would love to see a head to head with Maddie and Kalani, but with them being in different age groups, that can’t happen. Perhaps a “same choreography” and “same music” scenario in each age group and then compare scores?? I would love to see Melissa knocked down off her high horse of “no one can beat Maddie” mentality. But by all means, keep Melissa away from Kalani’s headpiece. Yes, Melissa, not Christi. Just saying!!!

    • How old is Kalani? I know Maddie is 11, so in the next year she should be moving up to the teen division, which would put her against Kalani. I know with a lot of competitions, you can move up an age group but you can’t move down; hence why Maddie and Chloe competed against each other a lot.

        • Thanks :). So yeah, once Maddie turns 12, she’ll move up to the teen division and will be against Kalani regardless of what Abby tries to do. I can’t see Kira/Kalani sticking around that long though, poor Chloe will be the only one who has to compete against Kalani because they’re the same age. I think when Chloe is “on” though, she can beat Kalani, Maddie….even on her best day, she’s not as poised or as technically strong.

    • Hmm…I just left a comment but it was not approved, maybe because I included links to YouTube clips. OK, I will try again without including any links. Anyway–Melissa really said “no one can beat Kalani” but the show’s editors changed it to “no one can beat Maddie.” So don’t believe everything you see/hear people say on this show.

  9. I love to watch the girls dance, but I feel the favoritism is over the top. In contrast, the mean spirit that has come out in the 3rd & 4th season is very biting towards the other girls. When she said (on the bus ride) that not all will be professional dancers, I agreed with her. I see Chloe has a future. She has developed some very thick skin by her cruel dance teacher. She knows how to handle rejection well. Chloe is a smart girl both on stage and in school. I hope she keeps a journal and writes a book about her experience. I’ll be looking for it. She has a strong mom who stands up for her daughter. If all of these girls pursue professional careers, I worry what one girl may do if she is rejected in the real world of dance. There needs to be something for all of these girls to fall back on. It’s sad that a 11-12 year old can’t spell “dinosaur.” (check other episodes). I know first & second graders who can do that. I’m curious what life will be like for these girls in 10 years.
    The physical confrontation between the moms & Abby are horrid to watch. Provoking and actually initiating it is wrong. This show has become so monotonous with, “Everyone’s replaceable” & “You’re only as good as your last dance.” I can’t watch the drama anymore. The children look drained (except Maddie). What a wasted childhood for these girls (No breaks, family trips, friends, school outings, etc… without getting the riot act from Abby). Ladies, If you’re in a tight contract, leave when it’s finished. Then let your girls get to know themselves outside of dance.

    • I absolutely agree about Christie and Chloe, and I contribute it to the fact that Chloe has a life outside of dance that she devotes time to, contrary to what Abby thinks. What is Maddie going to have after dance? What would happen if she had a career-ending injury and wasn’t able to dance at all anymore? Do you think Abby would give her the time of day? No school friends, no outside interests, an ego-swollen head…..yup, that’s about it.

      • I completely agree. I hope Maddie stays healthy without injury. I feel it’s all she has. I know Chloe will be a very strong person with a great sense of self.

  10. ABBY LEE FIELDS ENDEAVOR

    Let Lee take you down
    Cause you’re going to Abby Lee Fields
    Nothing is real
    And nothing you can figure out

    Abby Lee Fields endeavor

    Each one I think gets paid a fee
    It means good ratings for the show
    That is you cant, you know, tune in
    Without a fight
    That is I think we’ve all been had

  11. Hello, Lori how are you today? I’m good, anyway, I just wanted to say that I loved your recaps as always!! If your boss is looking for another writer than I’m available.

    • Hello, Kris. I am fine. And I will add you to the list of potential adopters for the blog if I run away from home. Thanks, as always, for reading.

  12. I think that Abby’s obsession with Maddie is quite disturbing. “Bring our your inner Maddie”, “I need the next Maddie”, yada yada. Her fixation on this one kid seems to me to be completely unhealthy and out of control, and if Melissa had any brains in her skull she would remove Maddie from this situation immediately for her daughter’s well being. I have to wonder if losing Broadway Baby, and being in the process of losing her mother are major reasons for her to grab on and cling to something or someone else furiously, but all the more reason for Collins and company to get her some counseling stat.

  13. So did anyone else notice in the previews for next week, Abby getting into Christi’s face? It looked like Abby was trying to provoke Christi into hitting her.
    I wonder if Kelly will be able to use footage like that in her lawsuit.

  14. It’s taken the last two episodes for me to realize how really awful this show has become. Abby’s methods were always questionable, but going back at least as far as the beginning of Season 3, she has become increasingly irrational in a deep, dark, ugly way. The worst of it has been the impact on the kids, and it is no wonder that the moms have been forced to play characters either in complete surrender to Abby or fighting her any way they can.

    What I don’t understand is where are the director, writers, and producers in all this? Yes, I do understand they’re making big profits off the show and, so far, the more outrageous it has become, the more, it seems, people are watching. But as it descends into nearly unrelenting child abuse, with the only relief being the dancing in between, what the heck are they thinking? Do they not get it or, worse yet, are they standing back, letting the cameras roll, with an arch, twisted sense of humor about it all, with the both apt and ridiculous episode titles and staging things like the moms’ lunch with Kelly and Abby saying that her mom (whom everyone knew was on her deathbed at the time) found out about their betraying her by having lunch (which clearly the producers engineered, even pushing Kira into the mix).

    It’s as though they are playing Abby’s madness (which may well be real mental illness) to the hilt, going back to Broadway Baby’s demise, tribute, and stuffing, but with the darker edges coming to the forefront, with more and more name-calling and yelling directed to everyone except Maddie, daring to demean and/or ignore Nia and Kendall (the children of the “good” and/or compliant moms). Recall the “monstrosity of evil” episode, (which Holly apparently recanted in the Reunion at the end of Season 3), followed by the more and more random pulling of their numbers, the “17 minute” teaching and rehearsal of the duet this season (and yelling when they didn’t finish first), the putting Nia at the bottom of the pyramid this week for a solo that also was given very little time or attention, etc. At the same time all this has been going on, Melissa has begun to be shown in an ever increasing negative light (were we supposed to see her discomfort in asking that the Maddie-Kalani duet not be adjudicated in the Bronx (which some have pointed out has a different background and, in any event, sure looks like it was filmed long after everything went down), and her extreme discomfort in being forced to sit at the lunch with Kelly (are we supposed to think she feels guilty about what happened to Kelly or is scared that Abby will think she’s a traitor?).

    See, I’m doing EXACTLY what the producers want, and so is everyone else. Clearly they don’t care if the reactions are outrage, whether it’s called abuse, or whether people got wrapped up in the details, taking one side or another, and trying to figure out what is “real,” what is concocted, and what “really” happens as a result of the manufactured situations.

    The only way for a viewer to end the frustration, of course, is to just stop watching it and hope and pray that, for whatever reason, the show ends soon. But shouldn’t there be some kind of accountability somewhere? I suspect that the producers may be thinking, holy shit, they’re all crazy, so we’ll just play this out for as long as we can and then wrap it up. And I doubt they are terribly worried about Kelly’s lawsuit. They probably can afford to settle, and they know that deposition testimony is likely to be wildly conflicting given both the madness all around and all the various self-interests to protect.

    I just can’t wrap my head around what appears to be a totally hands off approach to Abby — no, not even hands off, giving her so much rein to abuse the girls (and moms). FWIW, both Abby and Kelly and Christi have said publicly that they are all locked into contracts that do not allow Abby to decide to get rid of any of the moms (and, according to her, did not even let her choose, let alone veto, the likes of Kelly and Christy when the show began) and do not allow the moms (and their children) to leave without steep penalties and/or potential damages for breach of contract. Who knows what exactly the terms are and whether both sides are posturing, but Christy and Kelly’s claims that they both have tried to leave the show (and the one by “Mr.B” in the comments here on a past episode that Abby’s disappearance from some competitions last season, when she claimed she had to be with her mother, was her own boycott against the producers), all have the ring of some truth.

    So it seems as though the producers have deliberately yoked together a dance teacher and at least two dance moms whom she hated from the beginning, some deep personal history between Abby and Kelly in particular (which may have repeated itself to the extent that Brooke, who allegedly was an Abby favorite when she was young, rebelled as Kelly once did), and just let everything fly, all under the guise of a show about a tough-love, down-to-business dance teacher and a group of pushy, self-centered moms. Even so, what possessed them to set up a situation where (1) Paige was given a solo, duet, and the group number, and Brooke a solo and a group number, (2) Paige, Brooke, and Chloe were separated from the others (who went to a real, unfilmed NUVO competition), set up to look bad at the NYC auditions (not getting the dance combinations in advance that they were supposed to show the participants), (3) allegedly (according to Abby) Kalani was brought into the studio earlier as possible replacement for Brooke, (4) Kalani and Maddie were secretly prepared to add their duet that placed 1st at NUVO to the Bronx “competitions”; (5) Kalani was secretly transported to the Bronx; and (6) everyone else, including Chloe and Paige, only learned about the Kalani-Maddie duet right before they were going to go onstage to dance theirs; and THEN (7) during the lunch break, before the group number, Kalani and Kim are brought in and Abby and the other moms talk about Kalani replacing Brooke in the group number (Kalani having been already taught it).

    This was an extraordinarily elaborate set-up, even for Dance Moms, and while the precise timing and sequence of events may have been altered in the editing process, it is difficult to see how this was intended to do anything but make Kelly blow up and possibly Christi as well. So, did the producers WANT to get rid one or both of them, without having to pay any contractual damages on their part, and/or did they just want to reap the benefits of whatever drama was likely to have ensued (and lucked out getting the police called in? Or was either outcome just fine with them?

    More importantly, did they not get or not care that the effect of all this is not just “drama” but that they also keep giving Abby more and more reason to believe she has nearly unlimited power to not only yell and scream at the dancers and their moms, but to do just about anything she wants to “punish” them, or little or no reason, on a whim, and to make everything unpredictable, so that hard work on the part of a dancer and complete submission and silence on the part of the mom is no more likely to bring any dance or personal rewards than the opposite kinds of behaviors. While at this point I have little sympathy for Abby, it is really sad to see even her used this way. As the series has gone one, she has lost weight, maybe had some plastic surgery, has nicer clothes, and has every reason to feel better about herself, including getting what she probably really wanted all along, the Ultimate Dance Competition. Yet instead of focusing on the positive, she became obsessed with the fact that she could not either get rid of Kelly and Christy or beat them into complete submission, and she began to take way too seriously the idea that the “sins of the mothers” could and should be heaped upon the children.

    What kind of people let this happen and call it entertainment? Why can’t it be stopped?

    As I see it, the worst case scenario is that this show goes on, in one form or another, the outrage dies down, new kids and their moms come on, and somehow people keep watching. Who is going to say that all the abuse that has already been shown and will be viewed again and again is just plain wrong? That no child should be put in this kind of environment and that no one should be allowed to profit from it?

    The only glimmer of hope was the deluge of Facebook posts on the Lifetime Dance Moms page last night, which, for a change, were overwhelmingly anti-Abby (even more so than last week). What is heartbreaking in particular are all the dance teachers, dancers, and regular moms and children, who used to enjoy this show and were/are so invested in the girls. Many will no longer watch the show, but dance in general and competitive dance in particular has been given a black eye that it never deserved. I think, I hope, and I pray that the girls and moms in the cast will come out o.k. in the end, especially if this is the last season. But what is going to stop producers like Collins doing something again that locks young girls (or boys) into contracts for reality shows to film during their most impressionable, volatile, and formative years, and gets a huge following of those who watch precisely because they care what happens and feel they have to keep watching to see what happens next?

    End of rant. Sorry it was so long – just couldn’t keep it in any longer. Thanks Lori for the great recaps. They are so funny and biting ( 😉 ) — but with a lot of heart. Keep telling it like it is.

    • The show is totally awful. The competitions are looking really fake to me. Abby is a total nutcase, worse and worse. That last group number was horrible! Not the dancing, the costumes, the whole idea. Kalani doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for. And I really hate Christie. She spews negativity like Niagara Falls. She’s always making snotty, snarky faces and she never has anything good to say about anyone. No wonder she has no friends except dopey Kelly. “I’m here in dance hell,” she says. She has to whine and bitch about everything. I sure hope her kids don’t pick up her attitude.

    • I agree with everything you said. My son who is 11 comes home from school most days because he feels one of his teachers has favorites. It really upsets him and he says things like “why can’t I be as smart as so and so” or “I will not be successful because I am not as smart as….” seeing how upset this makes me son makes me see that these poor girls are feeling this same way only about a 100 times worse! I feel that this is emotionally damaging for these girls and that is child abuse. Forget about the producers doing anything about it, I just wonder where CPS is in all of this? You would think that they would get involved but haven’t as far as we know.

      The old saying “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” has to be all the producers care about. They will not change unless people stop watching or boycott the show (and the network). Like I said in my reply to this blog last night – I am no longer watching the show. The repetitive “everyone’s replaceable” that comes from Abby’s mouth every 2 minutes is more than annoying. This show used to be enjoyable when it focused more on the dancing than the fighting & mean spirited words that are said to and in front of these girls. Now it’s just depressing and I cannot continue to support a show like this. Wish Abby would watch Lifetime’s new series “Kim of Queens” granted it seems like it is staged but at least Kim treats every child equally and focus’s on inner beauty more than winning. I respect the way they have done that show. Forget Jeff Collins – Lifetime please step in and fix this or cancel the show. Your network will suffer from the backlash due to Dance Moms.

    • Please forgive me, but I wrote this before I realized that this week’s recap was out. (I mistakenly posted it in last week’s, and it absolutely belongs here with Kathy’s very thoughtful missive.)

      I have watched this show from the beginning, since I’m a college teacher and lover of dance. I simply loved watching the girls in the company grow, and I think much of the group choreography we see is quite special. Like everyone else, I’ve been horrified that a teacher could so unashamedly abuse her students in the name of competition wins. At the very least, Abby has a certified personality disorder, and it’s terrible that the girls and moms were “enslaved” to this tyrant for 6 years. Now that I know this, it seems much clearer to me why Abby would go to such lengths to establish a whole new company with “ringers,” when she always decried Cathy for not sticking with her own in-house talent and standing by her teaching.

      I’ve tried and tried to explain to myself why I tune in every week. I don’t miss Kelly, but I do miss Paige and Brooke. Not everyone has to be stellar, and both girls had grown considerably over the last three years. And don’t underestimate Paige–when doing something she loved like the “Broadway Blondes” routine with Chloe last year, she could shine radiantly. She was simply beaten down again and again and again. I decided that I continue to watch in the hope that the arc of traditional drama will eventually play out and that we will see two things: 1) Some incredible Pittsburgh dance teacher will swoop in and welcome Paige, Brooke, Nia, and Chloe to a new competitive team that we will get to see the way we do Abby’s team now. After all, it would still be Dance Moms, just more moms and a second company. Even more, with all my heart, I hope that 2) This lawsuit with Kelly will shine a big light on Abby’s horrific abuse, and that we will see her being ridiculed both publicly and legally over the next two seasons, bringing about her shame and downfall. I think many of us are disbelieving that such unkindness could have led to such success and manipulation for Abby, and I think there is perhaps in all of us that shred of hope each week that America will start to take notice and criticize her roundly. Once this happens, that will become the story Lifetime swings to until the six-year contract is up, and by then, Abby will not be in demand, not be calling any shots, and not have any opportunities left. She’ll be ruined.

      That’s–I’m sure–one of the reasons we all watch, the hope that what goes around comes around. Nothing will ever fix the emotional damage done to those poor girls, but at least Abby could be stopped. What IS similar to the Gosselin story is the law about PA child labor laws, and I’m sure this is how Kelly’s legal team came to focus on this. If PA could come down on the filming of children going about their routine home activities for too many hours under a film crew’s perusal, imagine the magnitude of the violations for verbal abuse, belittling, throwing chairs, not allowing sufficient breaks, etc. If this is the way to bring Abby down, I’m not only all for it, I hope it’s a long and hard fall, the kind she is more than willing to mete out to her students constantly. Everyone wants to see a villain punished, and I can only hope that this is the story that Lifetime starts to tell.

  15. People are going to think I’m completely evil and superficial, but what a difference in Kira’s appearance after getting that thing removed from her face! And I get kind of a sadistic kick out of watching and listening to Abby put her foot in her mouth again and again with the name-calling and personal slams. Calling Christie Satan in front of he daughter? Really Abby? You do realize you have a pending lawsuit against you for mistreatment of the girls right? If she keeps this up, the “assault” charge will be laughed out of court and SHE’LL be brought up on assault charges, verbal and emotional, against those kids and the mothers who dare say anything against her, or in defense of Kelly and her girls. I do have to say though, Kelly looked MUCH more relaxed last night, she didn’t have the huge bags under her eyes anymore. If I were Kelly though, when Kira asked if she could tag along, I would have said hell no lol.

    • THAT’S what it was!! I couldn’t figure it out, but I couldn’t believe how different Kira looked in the confessional-type shots from when she was in the studio (other then better lighting and makeup). I noticed too (if that makes me superficial too, so be it) but could not place it.

  16. Lori, I award you a candy box for the excellent photography research.

    Honestly, last night I wasn’t sure if I was watching Dance Moms or a SNL parody of Dance Moms.

    • Max, I award you a lady’s-head-enveloped-by-swan drawing for saying so. And here is how you tell ALDC from SNL: SNL is funny.

  17. OMG, I can’t believe they are going to have a second team. I mean, I can because Collins Avenue makes the silliest decisions, but…what!?

    In pretty much every online space I’ve seen the vast majority of people have been AGAINST having a new team. Almost everyone seems to agree that we’re in it for the original girls, not Abby or anything else. This just seems like such a misguided decision.

    Thanks as always for the recap. I’m also not watching the show anymore, but I do like to know what’s happening to these lovely little girls. Thanks for making me laugh, Lori.

    • You’re welcome. Like I said, I’ll continue taking one for Team Recap through Season 4. After that, we’re all going to have a family meeting a pick a nice new show that loves us back.

  18. I would love to see a Maddie/Kalani battle. I think Melissa is trying to get close to Kira like she has all the other new moms because she knows “this one could probably take my kids spot” plus Kalani has already proven to be a favorite of Abby, just on different show but the love doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere. Now I don’t necessarily think Kalani’s skill level is above Chloe but I DO think that Kalani has embraced her height and growth spurt, ever since Chloe had hers there are some parts to her dances that seem a bit stilted, if she learns to embrace her elongated limbs with poise and if Abby ever gave her a BALLET solo, I think she’d be a true contender to Maddie. But I don’t think Abby will ever let Kalani and Maddie go against each other, cuz if Maddie lost, she’d be lookin as lost as she was when Sophia was there. Now, Melissa does seem to be a good mom and want whats best for her kids, and i’m sure she lets Maddie know if you don’t win it’s not the end of the world but I don’t think she’s drilled it in her, cuz Maddie, even though she’s just a child seems HARDCORE about her dance and losing is not on her itinerary, and I’d be kinda worried if she did lose time and time again after Kalani, she seems very wound tight in that area, and its not a horrible thing, she’s a winner, she’s used to winning, but I feel like even Abby knows putting them against each other wouldn’t be good for Maddie cuz if she lost, it’d be more than just ::tears:: I lost, it’d be more emotionally damaging. So I’d like to see it once just to get Melissa off her high horse of with the other moms, like “nobody can beat my kid”, but then I’d be like ok, lets move on before Maddie gives herself a stroke.

    P.S…there should be a drinking game for those of us over the right age for every time Abby says “replaceable!” Last week was hilarious when in her confessional Abby said “do these moms realize their kids could be replaced?”…Ummmm…..YES! Yes Abby, I think they do…I think THEY realize it…I think the KIDS realize it and the PUBLIC realizes it since that’s all that has been echoed for pyramid since season 3 started and season 4 hasn’t shut up about it.

    • I want to see Kalani and Maddie do competing solos mostly because I don’t think Abby would give either the short shrift on choreography. Making it a truly equal battle. This is also why I think such a match-up will never happen. They are very similar dancers — though Maddie remains the Queen of Face — so to actually leave the outcome in the judges’ hands would be some scary business.

      • agreed! I always feel like Abby shortchanges Chloe on the choreography when it comes to competing solos, not with a lot of things but multiple turns, a leap here and there or that one behind the leg action that we didn’t see til Maddie and Kalani’s duet, I was like “who knew they had tricks like that in their bag of tricks???”” Which I still maintain is why that duet won over Chloe and Paige, I mean CLEARLY Maddie and Kalani’s duet was a winner. I also think it would be good for Maddie to have someone who challenges her who is a friend…her and Sophia didn’t get to be friends, I think Maddie saw her as a chick that’s coming to take the top spot, but having a friend as a competitor might force Maddie to grow like having to be genuinely happy someone else won, I feel like Melissa would flip her top but Jill and Kendall had to learn that lesson 2, just cuz you were the star at one studio does not mean you’re gonna be the star at the next! But like you said…what are the odds of this happening? Someone truly able to challenge Maddie in dance AND in Abby’s favoritism circle??? That’s a big no-no!

  19. I had to stop reading in the middle because I had to say I AGREE 100% with the dancers lying down on stage after their solos!!!!! I thought I was the only one who noticed that this week, I said that to the tv, like c’mon Ab’s…I don’t care if they’re standing there reaching for an imaginary anything, just stop ending up on the ground! A signature pose, spin and stop…you know SOMETHING!!!!! Now back to reading…

  20. As always thank you for your recap. I personally have made the decision not to watch Dance Moms any longer. My son is very upset about this and he reminded me the only reason he started watching the show was because of me. It’s just not entertaining anymore and it’s just not how Abby treats the girls, but how repetitive the show has become. You hit the nail on the head at the beginning of this blog – how many more times do we have to hear that everyone is replaceable, etc? I would rather watch shows like The Voice as it is a feel good show with laughter and entertainment without being cruel and silly nonsense.

    I am hoping that the ratings start to plummet so they will either cancel the show or bring it back to where it was in the beginning.

Comments are closed.

About Lori Acken 1195 Articles
Lori just hasn't been the same since "thirtysomething" and "Northern Exposure" went off the air.