Duck Dynasty recap: “Going Si-ral”

Another week, another Duck Dynasty recap of an episode with a Si pun in the title. Between that and the Si-cology book that’s out now, are we running low on these? Yeah, I doubt it, too.

We start at a junkyard, where Willie and Korie are walking with John Luke to go look at Willie’s truck, which John Luke totaled in an accident. The kid’s OK, which is the important thing, of course, but Willie can’t help but wonder where he went wrong. Korie is only too happy to remind him later that he also taught Sadie how to drive, and that vehicular escapade made for a traumatic episode all its own. So he’s 0-for-2. Korie and Jessica keep describing John Luke’s safety after the accident a “miracle,” which further exasperates Willie, as the womenfolk just don’t seem to understand the magnitude of loss he’s facing with his truck being smashed.

At the dealership getting his loaner (and encountering the worst actor in a reality show ever in the employee who fetches the vehicle for him) Willie somehow gets saddled with watching his niece and nephew while Korie and Jessica go get their mani-pedis. He figures he’s good with kids, and it’ll help him win points with his wife. But of course the little tykes end up being more than a handful, immediately using Willie’s leg for target practice in their swordfight.

He gets them some ice cream, figuring he can bribe them into loving him, since they’re not his kids and all, before heading out to Phil and Kay’s. But the ice cream leads to messes in the car with spilled ice cream, and children whose tummies don’t feel so good. Which means, you know, toots. Like Willie says, “So much for the new car smell.”

Back at the warehouse, Willie has done a very uncool thing (from his employees’ perspective anyway) and shut off the building’s Wi Fi. Believe it or not, the boys have apparently been slacking off on social media instead of doing their actual work. Si has no idea what they’re talking about, throwing around words like “firewall,” “Wi Fi,” “tweet,” but he knows he doesn’t like it.

Turns out Willie didn’t block YouTube, though, and the gang spends a whole lot of time introducing Si to the wonders of rotund women falling off tables, fainting goats, sneezing pandas, double rainbows, etc. The crazy old coot gets so hooked on it that he stays behind to watch more while the rest of his crew go to get burgers. I think we all know where this is going, right? Si eventually enlists Jep to help him set up his own YouTube channel so he can make instructional videos to upload. You know, because the instructional videos Si found online were just pathetic, according to him. When Jase rightfully questions what Si is qualified to teach, Si rattles off his knowledge on how to train a dog, catch fish, how to do a eat a hard shell taco without all the good stuff falling out … OK, actually I’d watch that one. But somehow he ends up deciding to do a golf instructional video.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Si shows up to the golf course in the baggiest, most plaid pair of pants that would have made Payne Stewart shake his head. As for the meat and potatoes of the instruction, it’s pretty basic. “Swing hard.” “Hit the white ball.” It’s all hilarious to the onlookers, who enjoy watching Si fall flat on his face.

If you want to see the full Si golf instructional video, it’s on the Duck Dynasty Facebook page.

Best Lines

“There are two types of people at Duck Commander. There are those who occasionally use the Internet to pass the time, then there are those who have absolutely no idea what the Internet is. There’s also a third type of user: the Internet hog.” — Jase

“Too much woman, not enough table.” — Si

“I don’t need wooden teeth to teach about George Washington.” — Si

“You got a dump truck for a caddie.” — Jase, to Si, referring to Godwin

Best Segment Titles

“Kid Marks”

“Out of Website, Out of Mind”

“Si-ral Videos”

“Lost in Cyberspace”

“The Guilt Whip”

“The Legend of Baggy Pants”

“What, What, in the Putt?”

© 2013 Credit: Karolina Wojtasik
© 2013 Credit: Karolina Wojtasik