Fashion Police recap for 04-05-13, Welcomes Back Giuliana!

It’s our Fashion Police recap for the 4-5-13 episode: Giuliana Rancic’s back and she’s all business. The Fashion Police team jumps right into the Must-See Looks of The Week, which were:
5. Nicole Kidman in a gorgeous Oscar de la Renta dress.
4. Adrianne Palicki in a sparkly Reem Acra that she manages to make look really, really trashy.
3. Miley Cyrus in a striped Chanel jumpsuit. I think she looks like an escaped prisoner.
2. Jennifer Lopez in a dress that is the color of Silly Putty. Joan called her “Jenny from the blech.” Ha!
1. Amanda Bynes wearing a parka, a short velvet printed skirt with tennis shoes. She looks absolutely crazy.

This week’s guest is Ed Weeks from The Mindy Project. He is British and has a really posh British accent. I could listen to him talk all day. He told the panel that he is not gay, and Joan said: “Half our audience has clicked off.” I love her jokes so much more — a la improv.

Next up was my favorite segment! “Guess Me From Behind!”
1.A short-haired blonde, in a tight blue dress. I thought for sure it was Miley Cyrus, but it was Kellie Pickler.
2. A guy bending over putting his shoes on with his butt hanging out. It was Gerard Butler! Yikes.

The next segment: “Postcard from Crazytown.” Here the team shows a picture of Katie Price wearing a pony costume. Wearing stripper heels ….  I can’t even.

The next guest is Kristin Cavallari. She has a new shoe line. I love shoes, but I will not be checking those out. I won’t give any of my money to someone from The Hills.

Then in “Bitch Stole My Look.” Kim Kardashian and Zoe Saldana were spotted wearing the same Lanvin dress. Wow, that’s just not a fair comparison! Not that I feel sorry for Kim, but come on — she is pregnant. But Joan called it fairly, saying it’s time for maternity clothes for Kim. Amen! Preach it, sister.

Winners for …
Best look of the week: Sarah Jessica Parker
Worst look of the week: Jenna Jameson

Best Joan One-Liners:
“There are no batteries in that watch, because she doesn’t like a face that moves.”  — referring to Nicole Kidman
“They are faker than a Chris Brown apology.” — referring to Adrianne Palicki’s breasts
“If I wanted to see a big white ass, I’d go to The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.” — referring to Gerard Butler
“I hate to gang up on this poor woman, but it won’t be the first woman.” — referring to Jenna Jameson

This week’s tally:
Inappropriate Joan jokes: 16
Fake George laughs: 7
Obsessed count:  1
Amazing count: 2

See you all next week!