Fashion Police Oscars 2013 recap

An everyday fashionista provides our Fashion Police Oscars 2013 recap

Well, there’s nothing like Hollywood’s top celebrities getting opinions about fashion from an 80-year-old standup comedienne, a host of a celebrity “news” show, the daughter of a rock star famous for biting the head off a bat, and a random stylist … so that’s why the editors of Channel Guide Magazine assigned an everyday gal like myself, who is obsessed with award-show fashion, to weigh in on what the average viewer liked and disliked about this year’s Oscar wardrobes and E!’s coverage of them.

Fashion Police: Kelly Osbourne, Joan Rivers, Giuliana Rancic and George Kotsiopoulos

First of all, let’s start with the hosts of Fashion Police. What was Kelly Osbourne wearing on her head? A do-rag? I think she was going for a ’40s Rosie the Riveter look, but her hair is purple! Purple!!! Come on. You’ll gain viewer credibility if we think you dress and look fashionable yourself. Joan looks … like Joan, and we love her for that and all her biting commentary. Giuliana is code orange — her skin is the same color as her dress. And George is just there.

There are two special guests for this year’s Fashion Police Oscar 2013 show. The first is Nina Garcia, a fashion critic and former fashion director for mags like Elle and Marie Claire, but she hates everything. The second guest is comedienne Sarah Silverman. She told a great story about a dress she wore to the Emmys a few years ago that she “co-designed.” It turned out so badly that the designers refused to let their names be associated with it. They also showed a picture of Anne Hathaway kissing Sarah’s hand at the Vanity Fair party. Sarah said: “Look, ladies love me.”

Joan Rivers had a slew of jokes as she always does. It was a 90-minute show, so her writing team must have worked overtime for this one! Here are some of Joan Rivers’ best one-liners:

Jennifer Lawrence“Sandra Bullock’s hair is “more one-sided than a Scientology marriage.”

“Sandra Bullock’s dress is busier than Kirstie Alley looking for Twinkies on eBay.”

“Meet Anne Hathaway and the Pointer Sisters … and just like her they are begging for attention.”

Referring to Helen Hunt: “The statues at Easter Island have smaller foreheads than she does.”

Joan wondered if that was George Clooney or the guy from the Dos Equis commercial.

Referring to Amanda Seyfried: “She’s smiling because this is the last time she has to pretend she likes Anne Hathaway.”

Referring to Renée Zellweger: “The boardwalk on the Jersey Shore is holding up better than her face.”

On to the best and worst of the night. The panel decided that Reese Witherspoon had the best hair of the night. I couldn’t agree more. It’s so pretty! Very Veronica Lake.

Best Dressed Nominees:

  • Naomi Watts
  • Jessica Chastain
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Nicole Kidman
  • Halle Berry
  • Octavia Spencer
  • Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan
  • Amy Adams
  • Kerry Washington

Overall Best – Jennifer Lawrence

Worst Dressed Nominees:

  • Kristen Stewart
  • Naomie Harris (Bond girl)
  • Anne Hathaway

Overall Worst – Anne Hathaway

Anne HathawayThere are themes that happen on every episode of Fashion Police. Giuliana loves to somehow find a way to make everything about herself, Joan tells some really dirty jokes, George has a fake laugh — it makes me wonder if he gets a bonus if he pretends to think that all of Joan’s jokes are funny — and Kelly constantly says everything is amazing and that she is obsessed with certain people and/or looks. I decided to keep a tally:
Giuliana Rancic talked about herself: 3
Off-color Joan Rivers jokes: 20
Fake George laughs: 9
Osborne saying “Amazing”: 4
Osborne “obsessed” with: 2

See you next time!


  1. i think kristen stewart was best dressed at the oscars dont know what you lot were looking at must of had your eyes shut well your the only fashion police that said she was worst dressed everybody and all other magazines said how stunning she looked

  2. Hello I watched fashion police Oscar 2012 and the
    segment in which we/you are to guess who the celeberity is from behind. You should a women and
    I swore it was Hiedi Klum especially since the ring on her hand confirmed it for me. But I really was surprised that after all the guesses. It was revealled that it was Rene Zellweger. I still stand firmly that it was not Rene but Heidi. What say you?

  3. It is funny to see this program. To start every single one of the people who works in this TV show are funny looking, and NOT the most classic and elegant people on earth BUT they Are the Fashion Police!, right???. Most of the time they are not the best dressed either the most fashionable people and/or the best live by example people. For instance the Osborn girl who is terrible looking, pretty much a JOKE is one of the people giving advice about fashion……giving advice about trends and how to look classic or elegant, are you kidding me???? Hello!!! She is there just because of his father… and her Mom who really is the brain of everything….. Otherwise she will be doing nothing in life!!! At least have a little respect for people!!! Please!!

  4. I have been watching fashion police from the beginning however I feel that Joan Rivers went way over the line with the German/Jew in the oven remark regarding Heidi Klum. I felt it was very distastful and you could tell the others felt the same way! If this is what E condones then I’m no longer watching not just the show but the entire network.

    • I too thought it was better for her not to have said that. But I think that the fact that she is Jewish may have played a part in how she’d defend the statement. Or because comedians always say it’s a Joke. Either way I too like you felt the others were not comfortable with the comment. In all honesty I think perhaps and hope that even Joan herself may have regreted the stupidity.
      We all have said things we wish we hadn’t…

  5. I also thought it was funny that the hosts often had a LOVE/HATE relationship with the celeb’s looks. Aren’t they paid to have an opinion on way or the other?

Comments are closed.