12 things I learned from watching the Golden Globes

Here are a few things I learned from watching last night’s Golden Globes ceremony (many of them were things I didn’t know that I didn’t know, which is always a bonus):

Jodie Foster holds her Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes1) Jodie Foster is retiring! UPDATE: She’s not retiring

2) Jodie Foster had apparently not already come out publicly (except she totally had)

3) Judging from the looks of Will Ferrell and Paul Rudd, production of Anchorman 2 must be in full swing.

4) Kevin Costner should really do the next Cormac McCarthy audiobook.

5) I really must see this Dog President movie

6) Thanking the other nominees was really novel and noble back when Michael Caine did it back in 2000 after winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for The Cider House Rules. Now it’s just a little played.

6a. That said, Anne Hathaway’s tribute to fellow nominee Sally Field was actually pretty cool, drawing parallels between Field starting out as The Flying Nun and Hathaway getting her big break with The Princess Diaries. The only sour note is, when you think about it, it kind of sounds like Hathaway really hates that she was in The Princess Diaries, perhaps considering it the cinematic equivalent to working the cash register at Chuck E. Cheese’s while going out on auditions.

7) I’m fairly certain Sacha Baron Cohen’s tweaking of his Les Misérables costar Hathaway is the first time the word “upskirt” has been uttered at the Globes.

8) I really want Adele to win Best Song at the Oscars just to find out if she and her friend are still “pissing themselves.” Plus, an Oscar win would get her closer to EGOT status. The downside of Adele’s victory is that no doubt Taylor Swift is going to write a song about losing that category.

9) They apparently still let Mel Gibson into Hollywood events.

10) Bill Clinton seems like he’s doing a Bill Clinton impersonation. A really good one, mind you. Then again, maybe it’s just because I haven’t seen him speak in public in awhile.

11) Cutting away to reaction shots of Tommy Lee Jones and Joaquin Phoenix is the quickest way to suck the air out of a room.

12) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are perfect awards-show hosts, but I like them too much to wish they would do it more often.

Oh, and in case you missed them, here are the big winners:

Best Motion Picture — Drama

Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Richard Gere, Arbitrage
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marion Cotillard, Rust & Bone
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Best Motion Picture — Comedy Or Musical
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Misérables
Moonrise Kingdom
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Comedy Or Musical
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Comedy Or Musical
Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson
Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Alan Arkin, Argo
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Director — Motion Picture
Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

A full list of winners can be found on the Golden Globes website.

Photo: UPPA Credit: Martin Sloan