American Idol picks a Top 4

by Ruth Anne Boulet

American Idol decides to start this episode with the Idols singing Happy Together. Why not. They’re not really singing together. They’re singing near each other while not really listening to each other. They’re singing in their own little worlds, barely acknowledging that their are other people on the stage. It goes on far too long and ends with the typical arm-raised show choir button. I know the kids have a lot to do, but can someone please help them learn how to harmonize? Obviously the contestants that knew how to do it have all been eliminated.

This week’s product placement includes Ford, typically, and then a trip to Hell’s Kitchen. Please, will Gordon Ramsey yell at them? Please? He’s smiling. Why is Gordon Ramsey smiling? Why is he trying to be funny? Why isn’t he just yelling at them? Apparently these kids can’t take even fake criticism about something they can’t do. Apparently Lauren is the best omelet maker of the bunch. She must be so proud. We are left with a cliffhanger. Sigh. Can the cliffhanger be some real criticism? Please?

I did not listen to Lady Antebellum. I hope all of you who liked it had a good time. I had a good time fast-forwarding through it.

Dim the lights! James stands up. Jimmy gives his wussy sort-of criticism from a distance. He has to start a group on the far side of the stage. Lauren then stands. Jimmy thinks Lauren’s fear may keep her out of the top 2. She stand opposite of James on the other side of the stage. Apparently just standing on the other side of the stage is enough to get Lauren’s eyes all misty.

This show has done next to nothing to toughen these kids up. They need to know how to take criticism and grow from it or ignore it. Instead Lauren & Jacob do a blind taste test of food. Hah-hah isn’t tofu gross? Yeah, that’s original. They all have futures as restaurant customers. Thanks Gordon. You may be English but even you’re useless on American Idol.

I did watch Jennifer Lopez’s performance. Her pants were not flattering. Why would anyone want a crotch that low? In the words of Michael Kors, “That crotch is insane!” I also don’t understand why they bother trying to lead us to believe that performances like that are ‘live.’ Everyone knows they’re not. It’s obvious they’re not, just given the amount of stuff that had to set up for the stage. But we do the stupid “oh, we have to wait for Jennifer!” when they come back from commercial. Stop it. Your audience will be smarter if you treat them smartly.

Dim the lights! Jacob is up & Jimmy’s disappointed in him. Jacob is sent to join Lauren. Haley stands up. I’m sure she’s super excited about what Jimmy has to say. Jimmy’s pissed that Jennifer gave him a hard time. He thought she handled the criticism well & won the night. She joins James. Finally we’re up to Scotty. What did Jimmy Iovine have to say about Scotty? Jimmy thinks Scotty gave us a clue as to who he’s going to be as an artist, but he’s still got a lot to learn. Ryan reveals he wasn’t in the bottom 2 last week and he’s safe this week. Oh, Ryan. He then tortures Scotty into saying he’s got to stand with the group he thinks is safe. Ryan drags him over to James & Haley. They’re the safe ones. Lauren and Jacob are up for elimination. Lauren can’t really take it — she’s shaking & crying.

Makeup fixes Lauren during the commercial break. Dim the lights! The reign of Jacob is finally over — he’s going home. He doesn’t seem surprised, and Lauren is still crying. Jacob knows that America has fallen in love with him. Oh, Jacob. You seem like a nice guy but some humility would be advised. Interestingly enough that with his swan song he mostly held it in & didn’t oversing. If Jacob had done that more often, he might’ve stuck around.

So we’re down to Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery, James Durbin and Haley Reinhart. One more week ’till the top 3 and one week closer to finding out who YOUR American Idol will be.


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