Osama bin Laden’s DVR foreshadows his death

By Tom Comi

After 10 years of searching for al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden by various agencies, many Americans had probably given up hope that he would ever be captured. But a lot can be determined by looking at a person’s TV-viewing habits, and the recently discovered DVR found at bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan suggests he knew the end was near.

Channel Guide Magazine was able to obtain the DVR through top-secret sources*, and it turns out that the world’s most wanted man was quite the fan of American television. Here are some of the shows that he had planned on watching before his long-overdue death Sunday night.

American Restoration, History

American Justice, Lifetime

America’s Most Wanted, FOX

The Biggest Loser, NBC

Body of Proof, ABC

Breaking In, FOX

Burn Notice, USA Network

Chuck, NBC

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, CBS

Deadliest Catch, Discovery Channel

Dexter, Showtime

Entourage, HBO

House Hunters International, HGTV

I’m Alive, Animal Planet

Justified, FX

Law & Order, NBC

Manhunters, A&E

Milwaukee Bucks vs. Cleveland Cavaliers Pregame (from March 6, 2004), FSN North

The Killing, AMC

Navy SEALs, Discovery Channel

Rescue Me, FX

Rules of Engagement, CBS

The Situation Room, CNN

Special Ops Mission, Military Channel

Top Shot, History

24, FOX

Wipeout, ABC

*Before you start any conspiracy theories, this article is a work of satire!

1 Comment

  1. Tom Comi is a seriously twisted individual for having written this. He also forgot to include “Mad Men” on his list. But I forgive him.

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