by Ruth Anne Boulet
For some reason the Idols have to get in on the Royal Wedding action by attending Brit Week. What a weird cross-promotion. Hey, American Idol – if you had half-hour results shows you wouldn’t need to find really non-related filler. Just a thought.
Now to related filler — the cheesy Idol medley of the songs of Carole King. Kathy declares most of it dreckitude. They crammed a ton of songs in this week’s medley. I couldn’t keep track of them all.
And then it’s the Ford commercial, set to Our House. Didn’t they use this song for a Ford commercial in year’s past? Anyone remember? The Idols draw their furniture & it magically appears. The Idols are very lucky because they draw furniture from Design Within Someone Else’s Reach/ the Charles Eames collection. I would have that kind of furniture too if it would magically appear in my living room. I would’ve passed on the super-cool glass garage door as my house is on an alley, but that’s nitpicking now isn’t it?
Crystal Bowersox performed. Meh. She was good last year, but I never thought I’d buy one of her CDs. She just confirmed it for me.
We’ve decided to go back to the “let the general public ask a stupid question” session. Can we just cut the show to a half-hour? Please?
Dim the lights! Haley is up first. We actually get a re-tread of her performance and then get the Jimmy Iovine post-thoughts. Jimmy thinks Haley doesn’t know who she is. Haley says a naughty & we get a bit of dead air. She’s safe.
Scotty is brought center stage. I think all the Idols are in a flux now that we know Haley isn’t in the bottom. That means someone who’s never been in the bottom 3 will make an entry tonight. Jimmy makes a Johnny Cash reference and calls Scotty on his subtlety. Seriously Jimmy? How can the mugging & eyebrows be subtle? Scotty is put on ice while the grand torturer Ryan brings Lauren center stage. Jimmy actually makes a good point & says that Lauren only hears the negative comments and not the positive ones. Ryan also puts Lauren on ice. Ryan was only kind to Haley at this point.
Casey is brought up next. Jimmy was disappointed in Casey because he growled. Apparently the family dog doesn’t vote on this show. Jimmy, the growling was actually appropriate with this song. It hasn’t always been appropriate, I’ll agree. But no sense knocking him for it now.
James Durbin is center stage. Still wish he hadn’t gone into the guitar section. It wasn’t as strong as the opening. Jimmy wants James to do rock songs. There’s no doubt in his mind that James could win this. James gets a reprieve & is safe.
Jacob is the last one brought center stage. Jimmy thinks Jacob didn’t go to the right stage. Huh? Jimmy calls on us to stop comparing the contestants to themselves, but to each other cause only on is going to win. Lauren is safe, meaning the bottom 3 is Jacob, Casey and Scotty.
Bruno Mars performs. He is sporting the mandatory hipster hat. My dad had a hat like that. It looked good on him. He’s 78. It’s generationally appropriate for him. Bruno is also apparently not allowed to say the S-E-X word on American Idol. That might lead to dancing. Kids these days get ideas. Like about hipster hats.
Dim the lights! After the nationwide vote Jacob is safe. Yes, that is surprising. The Zap2it poll is getting skunked tonight. The person leaving tonight is Casey Abrams. Scotty is safe. Randy makes a look of surprise. You can’t save him again guys. Unfortunately, Casey was one of the people I looked forward to watching because you didn’t know what exactly he was going to do. I didn’t think he was going to win, but I liked having him around. He seems a bit relieved, as Paul McDonald did. He does a final performance of “I’ve got a Spell On You” and goes on a kissing & grunting spree. Even Steven Tyler gets a wet one on the cheek. It’s a great way to go out — even giving the last “you’re mine” to Haley. Either he was being a brat with it, or they really are dating. Either way, I was finally entertained by this entirely long results American Idol.