April Fools: Four foolish TV show concepts

The Star Wars Holiday Special

In honor of April Fool’s Day, we thought we’d take a look at a few of the most foolish ideas for television shows we’ve ever seen. Whether it’s trying way too hard to spin off a legendary show, or greenlighting a project that never even should have pulled up to the traffic light, these examples from over the years demonstrate that networks are willing to get fooled time and time again when it comes to series ideas that they think will work. Fortunately, in most cases, audiences didn’t fall for these jokes.

AfterMASH — CBS, 1983-84. M*A*S*H had just ended its 11-year run as one of America’s most beloved series — with its final episode reaching a single audience that wouldn’t be surpassed until a Super Bowl nearly 30 years later — about six months before this follow-up series began. It’s unlikely that many people would have chosen Col. Potter, Father Mulcahy and Klinger as the three M*A*S*H characters they would have wanted to follow in their own series, but that’s who we got. Being the M*A*S*H fanatic that I was (and still am), I, like others, gave it a chance. Set after the Korean War, in 1953, it began with Potter returning home to Missouri and eventually getting a job at the local veterans’ hospital. He conveniently ended up bringing Klinger and Mulcahy into the mix at the hospital. Honestly, I don’t remember anything particularly bad about AfterMASH, but nothing stood out like it did on M*A*S*H either, even with some of its fine creative staff on board, including producers Larry Gelbart and Burt Metcalfe, and occasional writers like Ken Levine and David Isaacs. Maybe America was tired with the 4077th gang after 11 years, or maybe it was just foolish to think such success could be duplicated. In either case, the series lasted about a season and a half before being yanked.

Even worse, in 1984, a pilot aired for W*A*L*T*E*R — an attempted second M*A*S*H spinoff focusing on Gary Burghoff’s Walter “Radar” O’Reilly character, who was probably an even unlikelier choice for a 4077th character to have his own series. I remember watching that very unnecessary spinoff pilot on a summer evening and, fortunately, never seeing it again.

Cop Rock — ABC, 1990. Ahead of its time, or just bad? I’m voting the latter, and I don’t think I’m alone. I remember being intrigued by the concept of Steven Bochco’s attempt to make a police drama series into a musical, using songs and choreography — especially since this was during the heyday of the music video. From what I remember of it, I don’t think this would fly even in today’s post-Glee world, where musicals seem to be embraced more on television (with even series like Grey’s Anatomy featuring musical episodes).

The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer — UPN, 1998. The former UPN network did not do itself any favors in trying to shed its buffoonish image when it introduced this controversial comedy, which sparked backlash even before it debuted. The sitcom took a humorous look at the deadly serious issue of slavery and the Civil War, and starred Chi McBride as a black English nobleman who ends up kidnapped and sent to America, where he becomes President Lincoln’s valet. Not sure what went through the creators’ minds — maybe they figured since Hogan’s Heroes could look at the lighter side of life inside a German POW camp, hey, why not slavery? Not many people thought the same, though. The series lasted about a month, and several episodes went unaired.

The Star Wars Holiday Special — CBS, 1978. There’s nothing foolish about trying to capitalize on the buzz generated by a box-office smashing, cultural phenomenon like Star Wars with a TV tie-in. But there is when it was as ill-conceived and downright boring as this two-hour holiday special was. It’s a kitschy, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink exercise in futility featuring not only embarrassed-looking stars from the film — Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford — but also out-of-place guest stars like Art Carney and Bea Arthur, not to mention musical numbers, including a performance by Jefferson Starship. It’s bizarreness could be fascinating in a way if it just were not so tediously dull and, frankly, annoying. George Lucas still has not let this see the official light of day, which is saying something considering how he has, in the minds of some fans, tarnished his original masterpiece in so many other ways. If you happen to see a bootleg of this, it’s worth one look for curiosity’s sake — if you can stay awake, especially during the opening scenes, when seemingly at least five minutes are spent listening to un-subtitled Wookiee dialogue!

Agree with these? What other show ideas have you found to be foolish over the years?