The show must go on without Sheen

By Tom Comi

Can we please put an end to the ridiculous ideas going around about everybody from John Stamos to Rob Lowe replacing Charlie Sheen on the CBS hit Two and a Half Men?

No one person can fill those shoes or multiple personalities, so I had another thought I’d like to throw out to CBS. Remember when David Letterman went through his heart surgery several years ago? Well, instead of airing repeats or finding one person to temporarily replace him, the network went with different guest hosts every night to man the ship.

With that in mind, I think CBS should follow its own lead and incorporate a new guest star into every episode. And just to keep things fresh, they should change the show’s name weekly to honor each cameo. So, while hoping Mr. Sheen the best in getting the help he needs, I present to you some TV and movie stars we’d like to see appearing alongside Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones on CBS on Monday nights:

Guest Star: Jon Hamm
Show Name: Two and a Half Mad Men

Guest Stars: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones
Show Name: Three and a Half Men in Black

Guest Star: Lee Majors
Show Name: Two and a Half Six Million Dollar Men

Guest Stars: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden
Show Name: Five and a Half X-Men

Guest Stars: Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, Andre Braugher
Show Name: Four and a Half Men of a Certain Age

Guest Stars: Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem
Show Name: No Country for Four and a Half Men

Guest Stars: Robert Vaughn, David McCallum
Show Name: Three and a Half Men from U.N.C.L.E

Guest Star: Tom Cruise
Show Name: Two and a Half Few Good Men

Guest Star: Russell Crowe
Show Name: Two and a Half Cinderella Men

Guest Star: Will Farrell as Robert Goulet
Show Name: Two and a Half Men from La Mancha

Guests: Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, Lisa Blair
Show Name: Four and a Half Men and a Baby
(Submitted by Martha Morrison)

Guest Star: Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman
Show Name: Three and a Half President’s Men
(Submitted by Kristin Stubbs)

Note: Feel free to send suggestions and your name, and we will include them if worthy.

© 2010 Warner Bros. Television. Credit: Greg Gayne

1 Comment

  1. Intriguing idea, Comi. You craft the scenario well.

    Here’s another idea: Replace Charlie Sheen with…Charlie Sheen!

    Think about it. It’s brilliant. He goes completely over the edge batcrap nutzo, as he is now. He’s pulled back somehow from the brink, just in time to reconcile with CBS/Warner Bros. and have a blockbuster-rated return to Two and a Half Men in September. But that only works if Charlie gives up the coke and has a lobotomy in the meantime. But mark my words: This could happen. It’s showbiz, baby.

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