“How I Met Your Mother” recap: Robin 101

By Mike Frey

Synopsis: Since Barney hasn’t exactly been a boyfriend in a while, it’s no surprise that he’s bad at it. He’s unsupportive and he’s so used to not sleeping over that he tries sleepwalking his way down the fire escape to get away from Robin. Luckily, Ted knows everything there is to know about Robin — or at least he thinks he does — and he needs to practice his teaching. So Barney enrolls in Robin 101: How to Date Robin Scherbatsky, taught by none other than Professor Mosby.

Unfortunately for Barney, the study sessions are about as successful as Marshall’s attempts to find a taker for his beloved barrel, Mabel, and Robin finds out about the whole thing. She even gets her hands on Barney’s notebook, which is full of all kinds of personal information about her — which, unlike Mabel, someone is more than happy to take from the “Bermuda Triangle” outside the guys’ apartment. In the end, Robin is impressed that Barney is willing to go to such lengths to get to know her and to keep her happy. In the future, she just wants him to go about it in a different way.

What We Liked:

• Realizing that anything sounds weird if you say it 100 times. Like “bowl.”

• “Robin Scherbatsky is many things: friend, confidante, occasional guest star in some confusing dreams that remind me that a woman’s sexuality is a moving target. But she is no crazy, jealous stalker bitch.” — Lily

• Barney: “Can we draw boobs on the chalkboard?”

Ted: “We did that already.”

Barney: “No, like really big boobs.”

• Three topics to distract Robin from being mad at you: 1. The Vancouver Canucks 2004 division title* 2. Proper gun cleaning and maintenance 3. Emperor penguins

[* The story of a scrappy little underdog team that prevailed despite very shaky goaltending and, frankly, the declining skills of Trevor Linden.]

• Silly penguins actin’ all fancy

• Finding out that butterscotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women. We never knew.

• Subtitles. “If this thing’s done, mind if Shin-Shin takes a run at it?”

What We Didn’t Like:

• “Did you two ladies lose some weight?” Worst. Cover. Ever.

• Robin’s angry face. Flared nostril ridges and wide, unblinking eyes are not a good look on her.

• That Robin’s dad has never spoken the six words she longs to hear: “Robin, I’m proud of you, eh?”

• “O Captain, my Captain.” We didn’t really care for Dead Poets Society.

• The fact that poor Shin-Ya had to wear a wig to stand in for Robin during roleplaying. It was very demeaning. Is that the kind of thanks he gets for auditing Ted’s class?

• “When you date someone, it’s like you’re taking one long course in who that person is and then, when you break up, all that stuff becomes useless. It’s the emotional equivalent to an English degree.” [Makes us think we might have wasted our time in college. Meh, at least it was fun.]

Barneyisms:
• “Stinson out. … Stinson back in.”