Since Michael Scott begins Season 6 doing parkour — “the Internet sensation of 2004” — with Dwight and Andy, it’s no surprise to find out that he’s behind the curve on another pop-culture phenomenon: gossip. As the Scranton branch’s summer interns complete their last day at Dunder Mifflin, a rumor spreads that two of the three are dating each other. (Their names aren’t important, so we’ll just call them Jet Li, Julia Stiles and Alan Thicke based on their almost unnoticeable resemblance to those actors.) Everyone knows about it except Michael, who feels left out — that is, until he stumbles onto a piece of gossip himself.
It seems Stanley went out dancing! Scandalous, right? While spreading the news, Michael actually uncovers the fact that the woman Stanley was with was not his wife, Teri, but rather his former nurse, Cynthia. He’s having an affair. He confronts Stanley, who makes him promise not to tell anyone — which is a problem, since Michael has already told everyone. They say that two wrongs don’t make a right, so Michael goes for way more than that to right his wrong. He spreads a rumor about each person in the office in an effort to shatter his credibility. Not a bad idea, actually. Among the gossip: Andy is gay, Kelly has an eating disorder, Erin is about to be fired, Creed has asthma, Oscar is the voice of the Taco Bell dog (RIP), Toby is a virgin, Kevin has another person inside him working him with controls, Dwight uses store-bought manure, Michael (or Jim) is a J. Crew model … and Pam is pregnant. Maybe Michael’s better at this gossip stuff than he thought.
Once everyone figures out that Michael has been the source of all the false rumors, they confront him and he reveals that only one of them has been true. Just as he’s about to out Stanley for the second time, Jim steps forward and admits that Pam really is pregnant. Michael still tries to mess things up by refusing PB&J’s help, but Pam quickly retrieves her ultrasound photo for proof. Everyone forgets about what Michael said about Stanley — except for Stanley, of course, who takes his vengeance on Michael’s car.
Best Moment: Stanley going to town on Michael’s Sebring with a tire iron. We bet he’s been wanting to do that for years.
Best Quote: “Do you like it as much as you like men’s butts?” — Kevin, very subtly hinting that he has heard the rumor that Andy is gay.
Employee of the Week: The interns. They certainly deserve the award for everything they’ve put up with.
Best Moment: Call me a softy, but I liked how touching it was when Michael was admiring the picture of the inside of Pam’s vagina.
Best Quote: “This place is like Spaniard Fly” — Michael
Employee of the Week: Alan Thicke