American Idol Reveals The Top Two

by Ruth Anne Boulet

So last Friday, I was one of the throngs who made their way down to the Summerfest grounds in Milwaukee to see Danny Gokey. Not because I’m a fan, but because I wanted to see just how crazy it would be. And it was quite crazy. I couldn’t see anything, and really couldn’t hear anything either. But I can say I was there, and I saw the ‘Cougars for Danny’ T-shirts. My only disappointment is that the one, repeat, one beer vendor was on the other side of the crowd from the entrance, so there was no way I could get to it. I learned later that a friend of mine was also there. Apparently I just missed frustration, because the beer tent was not well organized. There were no kegs, just servers pouring from bottles of beer. I’m glad I went & got decent beer in the Third Ward instead.

So I caught a little of the Night at the Museum tie-in at the beginning, and a bit of Alicia Keys, but then my power went out. I caught a little of the kid performing, but I wasn’t properly introduced. If anyone could introduce me, that would be super. My satellite also went out, so my DVR didn’t get America’s Next Top Model. I did catch the last bit, so I know who won. Thanks for the concern.

See, we’ve only got one person to eliminate tonight, so this entire episode is truly fluff. Even more so than most of the results shows.

But Ryan moves stuff along and brings out Danny Gokey so that we could see his Milwaukee visit. I see all sorts of people screaming for Danny. Or maybe for free Summerfest tickets that we all got. For a weekday, between noon to 4. Unfortunately, we don’t get a lot of footage of actual Milwaukee. They showed a brief snippet of the Calatrava, but they didn’t show you the building in its full glory, with its wings open. Yes, for those of you who haven’t been to Milwaukee, our art museum has wings that open & close. It’s awesome; everyone should see it.

Then we get Kris’ Arkansas treatment. It’s much the same as Danny’s, except that Kris had events in Little Rock and a couple in Conway. It’s kind of scary that AT&T stores look so similar from city to city. I know that’s kind of the deal, but it doesn’t help to give the ‘local flavor’ of each city when it looks like each contestant is going to the same cell phone store.

Jordin Sparks regales us with her new single ‘Battlefield,’ which should not be confused with Pat Benatar’s ‘Love Is a Battlefield.’ Pat Benatar’s song is much better. Jordin should also reconsider wearing a dress with sparkly horizontal stripes. She’s an attractive girl, but as Stacey London would say, that dress was doing nothing for her. Is it just me, or is she sexing up her performance? Naughty Jordin, I thought you ‘weren’t a slut’? Now you’re singing about a relationship built around fighting & the need to ‘get your armor.’

And then we get Adam Lambert out to face his footage. Will we see blue bra girl? Ryan and Adam discussed blue bra girl. I love it when he does the weather girl’s makeup. He makes a visit to the theater that he worked at as a kid. He performed at his high school & a Marine base. Kind of odd that they didn’t get a bigger venue for him. San Diego is a big city, right?

But we don’t get any results until Katy Perry performs. Danny says he wants it to be over with, but Adam wants to see Katy Perry. Katy has Adam Lambert embroidered on her cape. She looks like Elvis mashed up with Ethel Merman. Kathy notices the wedgie she gets during the course of her performance.

Kevin Bacon in the house! Dim the lights — Kris is safe! The person who will be competing against Kris is Adam Lambert.

THEY PUT THE GO IN GOKEY! Kara looks stunned. Danny looks ecstatic to be done with it. Happy, Michael Slezak? I know I am. It was a win for Milwaukee, and probably a win for him, too. Of course, it’s not over for me; I live in Milwaukee. I’ll be hearing about him for weeks yet.

But now I can say I’m way excited for the finale. Go, Adam & Kris. May the best one win. It could be a big ding dong, at least, according to Simon.